text/Moran
I have always felt that a long-term relationship must stand the test.
If you want to go on for a long time, you must be that both of you understand each other's psychology, know what the other person looks like, and be able to communicate openly and honestly.
Most relationships that cannot last long are because they feel bad about each other during the process of getting along, and even blindly consume them, which leads to physical and mental exhaustion and lack of energy to maintain this relationship.
If we want to have a good relationship, we naturally need to learn to stay away from those who consume you and get closer to those who nourish you.
Those who over-require materially or mentally and squeeze you will only squeeze you dry.
So, if you want to have a good relationship, you must know how to refuse and say no to people and things you hate, so that you can get along more harmoniously.
Why? Many people complain that the people around them always consume themselves and cannot meet the kind of people who nourish themselves. In fact, a large part of the reason is created by themselves.
The reason why others consume you is because you acquiesced to it. When others trouble you, you can't bear to refuse, so you can only consume your own time and energy. If you are unhappy with
, others are still indifferent.
Psychologist Tiffany Steele studies show that most people who are prone to attract and consume relationships have a characteristic, that is, they have an overly responsible subconscious in relationships.
To put it bluntly, it is too easy to take other people's affairs to heart and ignore yourself.
For such overly responsible people, they always try their best to satisfy other people's needs. Even if they are unwilling, they will still try their best to satisfy the other party as much as possible, which will eventually lead to physical and mental exhaustion.
Maybe such people have treated people like this since childhood, and they have considered others when they encounter anything.
does not mean that people with this kind of characteristic are not good, but they are easily at a disadvantage in interpersonal relationships.
You should know that any relationship is mutual. A long-term relationship is maintained on a healthy basis. Only when each other is given to each other will the relationship be harmonious.
Just rely on one person to pay and another person to claim, such a relationship will lose balance. The person who has paid for it for a long time will become very tired and constantly consumed, and eventually one day it will not be held back and will explode completely.
You can occasionally agree to other people's requests and help, and you also need to help within your ability.
should refuse things that require your energy to be consumed. If you don’t know how to refuse, others will not think you are working hard, but will instead squeeze you unscrupulously.
No matter whether you are friends or relatives around you, as long as you are not happy and don’t want to do something, don’t force it.
No laborious relationship will last forever, and a truly healthy relationship will not only make you pay alone.
If a person wants to correct this relationship, he should recognize his responsibilities. Not everything needs to be done by you.
What are your responsibilities and what are other people's affairs? These should be distinguished. Don't take care of everything. This will consume your own life.
When you recognize yourself, give yourself appropriate encouragement and let yourself slowly change this mentality.
Don’t be afraid of being isolated just because you refuse. Normal relationships are to be yourself, and being able to refuse generously will not affect each other’s relationship.
When you find yourself, you are not afraid of any relationship, and you don’t need to prove your value by helping others.
When you are rich and independent, you will naturally meet people who nourish you, rather than people who just consume you.
Summary:
In fact, interpersonal relationships are a system itself. When we can’t change others, try to change ourselves and jump out of this circle. Always don't consume yourself because you are afraid of rejection or loss.
Your relationship is at its best only when you focus on yourself.
So, be brave and be yourself, the person who loves you will naturally love you, and the person who consumes you must learn to stay away.
