The reader's letter said:
My husband and I are college classmates. After graduating from college, we stayed in the city where we went to college through campus recruitment. After half a year of working, because it was involved in marriage and marriage, as an only child, my parents couldn't bear to let me live a rented house in the city of work, so they sold a house in my hometown and helped me buy a house in the city of work (my hometown and I work in the city of work are both provincial capitals, and the house prices in the two cities are about the same).
The following year of marriage, our son was born. Another year later, my husband resigned from his original unit and started his business. However, my husband is not a suffering person at all, so he also fishes for three days and two days of drying the Internet during his business. As a result, the business soon went bankrupt. After that, the husband became a vagrant.
Because her husband is tall, fair-skinned, and wearing a pair of glasses, he looks gentle, handsome and very safe. It is precisely because of this that my husband actually maintained a romantic relationship with many netizens of the opposite sex in the name of being single through online dating software. During this period, I often made excuses to ask the girls who like him for money, and the key was that those women were also willing to be deceived by him.
In just two years, the husband has even earned more money from his girlfriends than he earns at work. During this period, a girl was particularly infatuated with her husband. After her husband found out that the other party was sincere, she tried to get out of the relationship. However, during the previous chat, their husband revealed some personal privacy to the other party. As a result, the other party found our family through inquiries from all parties.
Finally, the other party found out the truth about her husband's marriage and left. Then, by checking my husband's mobile phone, I saw through all his actions over the years.
Our child is only 4 years old now. Where should I go about this relationship?
Muzili Emotional analysis:
Analyze your husband's experience separately and you will find many social criticisms:
1. Some men in the past have the dream of getting rich overnight, but live the life of unemployed vagrants. Contemporary students have two contradictions: if they don’t go to college, they are afraid that they will not be able to seize the opportunity when it comes; if they go to college, they are afraid that there will be no good employment opportunities after graduation. Not everyone's unemployed vagrants are lazy, and some of them are helpless. After all, they have studied hard for more than ten years and have not had a relatively decent job. It is normal for people to be unwilling to accept it. For this reason, these people will be autistic while unemployed for a long time and dream of getting rich overnight, which makes them very likely to fall into the extreme world they create, which can be said to be harmful to others and themselves.
2. Humans are visual animals. On online social platforms, handsome or beautiful avatars can easily make the opposite sex imaginary. If a real person is really handsome, it will naturally attract the attention of many illegitimate opposite sex. The development of the Internet allows people to browse the world with a mobile phone, and can also harvest the products they want without leaving home, and can also harvest the emotions they want through an ID. Therefore, the online platform will become extremely lively, and scammers are not ruled out. Especially at the online dating level, as long as you use a handsome or beautiful avatar on your social platform, you will attract too many infatuated men and women, confirming that people in the field of love are vulgar visual animals and gold worship animals.
3. Handsome men are prone to letting women ignore the ugly side of their soul and be willing to become fools in love. For some people with high appearance, they will be very popular on online dating platforms. Infatuated men and women often only focus on the other person's appearance, thus ignoring the other person's character. I don’t bother to verify the other person’s reality in real life. A few months ago, there was a news that the popular female anchor on a social platform had a male real identity in real life. For this reason, I would like to warn everyone that they can appreciate and like people with high looks. Once their relationship is elevated to a lover relationship, they should approach their family and friends in real life, learn more about him, and then decide whether there is a need for both parties to continue getting along.
4. After the money is lent out hastily and the body is sloppy, the final outcome will be to suffer oneself. Many people’s understanding of netizens is actually at the level of the other party’s one-sided words. In this case, they lent the money to the other party hastily and devote their bodies to the other party. What I want to say is, if the other party blocks you from the Internet world one day, how should you get back the money you lend to the other party? Therefore, when making online friends, before you have enough time to understand the other person enough in real life, don’t lend money to the other person easily, because most of these people are liars. When netizens ask you to borrow money, they would rather refuse and get lost results than lend money to the other party after lending money to the other party.
Sometimes, we sigh at the indifference of human feelings. In fact, the relationship between people is not so pessimistic. It’s just that there are scammers in the online world. When dating netizens, it is not necessarily a bad thing to be careful. At the same time, I also want to warn everyone that in real life, integrity is very important. Don’t make more money from others than you. It is a reason why the other party should treat you to dinner. Don’t just because the other party is not short of money, you can drag it back and not pay it back in time if you borrow the other party’s money. Remember, others invite you to dinner or lend you money, not because the other party is generous, but because the other party treats you as a friend. For this, you should have a grateful heart and be less apt to be done.
Go back to your marriage with your husband: in the past two years, your husband has been in a state of unemployed vagrants, but he has shown a state of not short of money in his life. In this case, have you never doubted your husband’s source of income at all? Or, he has never spent the money your husband cheated from many of his girlfriends, and he does not have much expenses on weekdays, and you are responsible for the expenses related to food, rice, oil and salt. If you don’t care much about your husband’s daily expenses, you are indeed incompetent as a wife; if your husband has basically not spent much money in the past two years, it means that your husband is indeed hiding deeply.
Under the current situation, the most critical factor about whether your marriage should continue to go first: Will your husband find a job in his future life, or will he continue to idle at home? Your husband does have his advantages in the emotional field: he has a sweet mouth and looks handsome, so sometimes you will become a fool in front of him. But now he is a married man and his father. If he continues to eat and do things in a lazy way, it will definitely not be the same. After a long time, you will feel very tired of living with him. Although it doesn’t cost money to love someone, life requires money. As an adult, if he had to become a full-time housewife or a family man because he had to take care of his children, but because he was lazy and stayed at home all day, this person would be a waste.
has led to your husband becoming what he is now, and you have a responsibility: in the years after marriage, you have become a compliment to your husband. If you can encourage and supervise your husband when he is just unemployed, he will not be at home for two years with peace of mind. If your husband is willing to find a job and go to work, please let the marriage continue and stop all acts of killing your husband. Remember: giving pampering to more conscious, positive and self-disciplined people is called love; giving pampering to more lazy, negative and unconscious people is called indulgence. To this end, couples must firmly say no to some unreasonable behaviors.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
