The modern view of marriage has changed . Many people born in the 1990s and 2000s do not regard marriage as a major event in their lives. They feel that getting married or not is the same. If they haven't met someone truly worth their salt, it's better not to get married. Therefore, under this concept , modern young people have a very perfunctory and casual attitude towards marriage.
However, looking back at the past, we can find that people's views on marriage in the long history of our country's were exactly the opposite of what they are now. At that time, people all believed that marriage was a very important thing. The only people who did not get married were those bastards . It was impossible for serious people not to get married. In ancient times, the most important things in marriage were "the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker".
Two getting married people must be well-matched and their families value each other before they can exchange Geng Tie and become husband and wife step by step. In ancient times, two people who were about to become husband and wife might not even have met each other. They could only meet for the first time in the bridal chamber. And ancient paid attention to "hiring a wife as a concubine", and also paid attention to the character of the marriage partner.
There is an ancient saying that goes, "It is better to pick flowers twice than to marry someone born seven times." What does this mean? What is the second flower, and what is the seventh person? Why does and in ancient times have such a saying? These are all reflected in the ancient views on marriage, reflecting people's common views on marriage at that time.
1. The inner meaning of the proverb
In ancient times, it was very normal for a man to have three wives and four concubines. As long as he had money, there were also people who married multiple concubines at one time. But no matter how many concubines you have, you can't be careless when it comes to marrying a wife. A wife is his second face. Deep down in his heart, a man hopes that he will marry a wife who is good at housekeeping, generous and virtuous. If he speaks out, he can make others envious.
The "second flower" in the proverb actually refers to widow, that is, the daughter of the second marriage. And "Qi Chu" refers to the women who were abandoned by their husbands' families in ancient times. In the eyes of ancient people, a woman who committed seven outbursts would be deemed to have bad moral character and be unfit to be a wife, so she would be abandoned by her husband's family. And the future life of these women will also become very difficult and they will not be able to hold their heads high.
The so-called "Qi Chu" refers to being unfilial to parents, having no sons, being jealous, lustful, suffering from serious diseases, talking too much, and stealing. As long as satisfies one of , the husband's family will have reason to abandon it. In the future, a divorced woman will not only be disliked by her natal family, but will also be criticized by her neighbors. Therefore, many abandoned women had a unhappy life and died early.
And this sentence would rather marry a woman whose husband is dead than marry a woman who has been abandoned by her husband's family. It is obviously aimed at those men in ancient times who were unable to marry a wife. Some men are idle, they are extremely ugly, they don’t know how to make progress, their family conditions are not good, and in the end they cannot get a wife. Their parents either buy them a daughter-in-law, or they lower their standards and look for these "second-degree girls" and "seven-year-old girls."
2. The concept of marriage that lasts forever
The ancient people's concept of marriage was very strange. They only restricted women to be loyal to their husbands, to obey the words of their husbands and sons, and to serve their parents-in-law well. . However, they never require men to love their wives, respect their wives, and be loyal to their wives.
Under this deformed concept of marriage that tramples on women, it is possible for the woman to be immersed in a pig cage by her husband's family as long as she commits the seven sins. Especially for some women who stay alone in their vacant rooms, if they steal food, they will definitely be paraded through the streets with their adulterers, and then put in pig cages and thrown into the river to drown. Although cheating is bad, it is too cruel to regard a woman's life as an ant that can be crushed to death at will.
In addition, there are two other crimes, including the inability to give birth to a son and serious illness, which are also among the seven sins. This is really unjustifiable. Modern technology shows that if you cannot give birth to a son, the fault lies with the male, not the female. Because only men have Y chromosomes. If men are unwilling to provide them, how can women give birth to a son? Therefore, if a man does not have a son, he should first consider his own problems.
Even if you are seriously ill, you will be abandoned by . This is not in line with the spirit of humanity. When a person lives in the world, who can guarantee that he will not get sick? If getting sick is a mistake, then the woman will have to live a much harder life.. When a man is seriously ill, the woman is required to stay by her husband's side at all times, carry feces and urine, wipe herself and change clothes. When a woman is seriously ill, she has to quickly leave her husband's house with a divorce certificate and then die alone. This is so unfair.
Summary:
It can be seen that this saying deeply reflects that under the social conditions at that time, women had a low status and did not get the respect they deserved at all. This concept lasted until the 1970s and was extremely harmful to women. With the development of the times and the popularization of new concepts, people have slowly realized the importance of equality between men and women, and severely cracked down on those unhealthy views on marriage that suppress women. The law teaches women to protect their rights and learn to say no to domestic violence and PUA.
