It is said that "raising children will prevent old age". Parents have raised their children for ten or twenty years, thinking "I will raise my children when they are young, and their children will support me until I grow old." This is also a normal cycle of our lives. When parents have children, they have the responsibility to cultivate and educate them. When parents get old and their children grow up, their children have the responsibility and obligation to support and be filial.
However, many parents work hard to raise their children, but in their later years, their children's behavior breaks their hearts. Nowadays, many children live with their parents. This seems to be filial piety and taking care of their parents. In fact, most of them are a kind of "fake filial piety", but they are mercilessly nurturing their parents behind their backs.
A 65-year-old Aunt Song also complained about this: "After retirement, I lived with my son's family for ten years. Others envied me for having my son by my side. I lived a very happy life, but I was in trouble because My son's companionship and filial piety is not a blessing, but a nightmare in my later years! "
Why does having a son by my side become a nightmare for Aunt Song in her later years? Let’s listen to Aunt Song’s story.
Narrator: Aunt Song
I am 65 years old this year and retired from my work at the age of 50. Originally, I never thought of retiring so early, because if I stay a few more years, I can get more pension, and I can also wait until my wife retires together and then go to the countryside to retire together. But when I was 48 years old, an unfortunate incident happened in my family, which shattered all my plans for my later years.
In the summer when I was 48 years old, in order to get a week's vacation, my wife went with me to stay with my son in a big city for a few days, so he continued to help his colleagues at work. What I didn't expect was that my wife used to work night shifts for several days without any problems. However, after only working 2 night shifts this time, my wife suddenly suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and passed away during the third night shift. The death of my wife made me very sad and guilty. I felt that all the sins were mine. If I hadn't forced my wife to accompany me to my son's house, maybe he wouldn't have gone to work, and maybe he wouldn't have left like this.
I was sad about this for a long time, and my work was also affected to a certain extent. When my boss saw that I was so depressed, he wanted to transfer me to other logistics positions, but I didn’t know why, but I felt that without my wife, my career was still suffering. As if I was being bullied, I got into a fight with the leader in anger. In the end, I applied for internal withdrawal without saying a word, but I still regretted it afterwards.
At the age of 50, I retired with regret and helplessness. After retiring, I tried to live a good retirement life by myself. I joined a dance team, volunteered, and traveled with groups from time to time, trying to enrich my life with endless things to do. However, I am always lonely at home. When I come home after a busy day, the house is dark and the stove is cold, which makes me very unbearable.
After suffering for a year, in the second year of life, my son, who had been married for more than 4 years, suddenly told me that my daughter-in-law was finally pregnant and was coming back to raise a baby. This made me extremely happy. But I thought my daughter-in-law was the only one who came back, but my son also came back and said that he had quit his job outside and planned to come back to our small county to find a job. At that time, I was a little surprised and a little panicked. My son had such a good white-collar job outside, why would he quit like this?
My son also told me the reason, saying that work and life outside are quite depressing. He is busy with endless work every day and the living expenses are still very high. Renting a house costs one-third of his salary, and he is working. After more than 5 years, I haven’t saved much money. And this time I came back to work at home, just to make some money, support my family and children, and stay with me. When I heard my son say this, I was very relieved and excited. I felt that my son had finally grown up, had a sense of family, and knew how to be filial to me.
So, I didn’t do much to persuade my son. Instead, I welcomed him back. After all, our family’s conditions are not bad. Even if my son rests at home for a few years, he will be fine. Because after my wife passed away, he left me a deposit of 400,000 and an insurance compensation of 200,000, but I didn’t use any of it.
Who knew that after his son came back with his daughter-in-law, he would not go out to work for three years. First, he said that it was hard to find a job and he didn't have the right major. I asked someone to find a job that suited him, but he found the salary too low.Half a year after he finally closed his business, he simply said that he would stop working and accompany his daughter-in-law to have a baby. Then, after the baby was weaned, he and his daughter-in-law would look for a job together.
My son claims to have arranged things very well, but when he is not working, he does not care about his family either. He leaves my daughter-in-law to me, and he runs out every day, either hanging out with a bunch of gangsters or playing cards and fishing. I hadn’t worked for more than half a year and had spent all my capital, so I reached out to ask for money. During that time, I had to bear more than 3,000 yuan in food expenses every month, and an additional 500 yuan for my daughter-in-law’s pocket money. Give your son 2,000 yuan for car maintenance and expenses.
In fact, the money given to my son is the most difficult to calculate. He always asks for money from me when he has no money, and he is very good at abducting my money. One moment I asked him to lend him clothes to find a job, another moment he said he was going to get some training, and the next moment he said he wanted to buy something for his daughter-in-law, etc. There were many excuses, and I was embarrassed to refuse every time.
After my grandson was born, I became very busy. My daughter-in-law weaned her child within two months and left her grandson to me, asking me to take care of both the older one and the younger one. Moreover, my son and daughter-in-law did not look for jobs. Instead, they took the money I gave them and traveled everywhere. She said that it was too hard for her daughter-in-law to have a baby, and she needed to be allowed to relax. This excuse made her speechless again.
During that time, I was really exhausted. Because it’s difficult to take care of a baby, I can’t get a full night’s sleep every day, and I can’t stop doing housework even when I’m busy. After more than half a year of raising a baby, I lost a full 10 pounds. Later, when the child was more than one year old, my son and daughter-in-law finally couldn't stand idle anymore, so they started a business like others, and opened a milk tea shop downstairs of our house. The shop and decorations cost a total of more than 200,000, all of which were sponsored by me. of.
thought that opening a store would help his son and daughter-in-law calm down and make money to support their family. Who would have thought that the son and daughter-in-law, who were accustomed to idleness, would become even more depraved by opening and running shops. Complaining every day that it was tiring to get up early and stay late, they simply hired someone to take care of it. Every day, like the boss, they would visit the store and settle accounts. Then they would not go home and sleep, but just walk around and shop.
At that time, many people around me praised my son for his potential. As an old mother, I just enjoyed the happiness of my family at home. However, when I first opened the store, I was very pleased with the booming business. Watching my son and daughter-in-law settle accounts every day and earn two to three thousand a day, I felt that it was worth it no matter how hard and tiring I was to take care of my baby at home.
However, since I hired someone to manage the milk tea shop, the business has been getting better and better, but my son and daughter-in-law also have a lot of expenses, and they spend almost all their money every month. Only half a year after opening the store, my son took out a loan to buy a BMW car worth more than 400,000 yuan. He had to repay the car loan more than 8,000 yuan every month. My daughter-in-law spent another 70,000 to 80,000 yuan on plastic surgery to lose weight. Although they didn’t have enough money, they didn’t ask me to get it. But they used their credit cards, thinking that the milk tea shop had tens of thousands of loans every month and could repay the loan on time.
In this way, my son and daughter-in-law, who had cultivated the habit of spending in advance, became more spendthrift. After opening the milk tea shop for less than two years, I finally ran out of money to operate it, so I had no choice but to sell the shop at a low price of 100,000 yuan. In the end, the store was gone, and the son and daughter-in-law still owed more than 100,000 yuan in credit card debt.
At this time, my son came over and asked me to pay off their debt. He said that if the debt was paid, they would go to work. I couldn't bear to see them suffer, so I took out more than 100,000 yuan in savings to pay off their debts. After paying it off, my wife left me less than 100,000 yuan.
Later, when my grandson was three years old and went to kindergarten, my son and daughter-in-law also went to work as they wished. I feel that this is when I enjoy my blessings. I finally don’t have to bear the burden of everything. However, my son and daughter-in-law don’t hand over the salary they earn every month, and they don’t pay for the children’s expenses. They rely on me for everything. They eat and use what I have.
Not only that, everything at home and outside the house was left to me without any regard for my age. I was sick several times and felt uncomfortable all over. I wanted to have a good rest, so I asked the couple to take care of the children. meal. My daughter-in-law suddenly complained that I had a cold or fever, so she gave up. My son, too, blames me for not thinking about them because they are so tired from going to work every day and have to take care of the housework and take care of the children.
Over the years, many relatives and friends have said that I live a comfortable life. My son and daughter-in-law are so filial and stay with me to support them in their old age. Unlike their children, who run away one by one and are rarely seen a few times throughout the year.
However, being praised and envied by them, I could only face it with a fake smile, because my son’s companionship and filial piety did not bring me any happiness and enjoyment. Instead, it became a nightmare for me in my later years. Every day passed by Unsatisfactory results. Especially when I see that the savings in my hands are getting smaller and smaller, and my son and daughter-in-law are getting older and older, I feel very panicked. I don’t know what kind of difficulties I will face if I get sick in the future.
Conclusion:
In fact, many young people nowadays are like this. Living with their parents seems to uninformed outsiders like they are accompanying their parents to take care of them in old age, which is a filial look. But the essence is that they are constantly chewing on old age under the banner of filial piety. This is also the helplessness of many families nowadays, especially those with only one child. They think that they have to pamper their child, but as a result, they end up spoiling them.
Therefore, as parents, you must remember that in order to live a good life in old age, you must not over-indulge your children. When our children are young, I should raise them, but when they grow up, we must choose to let go. When faced with their children's blind demands, we must also refuse appropriately and not let them develop the habit of nibbling on the old. As for parents who are capable, it is better to choose to live separately from their children. This can reduce their over-reliance on us, curb the chance of gnawing at old age, and we can also reduce the occurrence of conflicts with our children.
When we get old, we should think more about our own old age and stop worrying about our children. They have to face and experience their lives, good or bad, by ourselves. If we get too involved, we will only harm them. , and ultimately suffer ourselves indirectly.
