Blue Fang hopes that all first wives can understand the truth.
A man cheats not because his original wife is not good enough, but because he is too greedy.
If the original wife is a gentle and considerate woman, the cheating man will find it boring and find a mistress who likes to make trouble.
If the first wife changes herself, imitates the mistress, and starts making trouble, the cheating man will despise the first wife for being ignorant.
Even if she separates from the previous mistress who likes to make trouble, she will soon find another gentle and considerate mistress.
The reason why he cheated was because he wanted everything, and his original wife couldn't do everything.
Some time ago, an extramarital affair case that Blue Fang came into contact with was such a situation.
's original wife, Ms. Shi, and her husband have been married for seventeen years, and she caught her husband twice after cheating on him. The first time
was discovered to have cheated on her was on the tenth wedding anniversary. Ms. Shi had prepared wine and food.
planned to have a candlelight dinner with the cheating man, but the cheating man said he would work overtime and stayed away all night.
When Ms. Shi arrived at around nine o'clock, she started to call the cheating man. At first, she turned off her phone.
She then called a colleague of her husband. As a result, they said that her husband left as soon as he got off work and did not work overtime at all.
Ms. Shi became uneasy. When she asked the cheating man, his parents said they didn’t know where the cheating man was.
She kept calling the cheating man, and finally got through in the early morning.
But the call was not answered by her husband, but by a woman. She said that he had fallen asleep and would talk to him tomorrow if he had anything to do.
Ms. Shi completely collapsed. On their wedding anniversary, her husband was actually in another woman's bed. She couldn't accept it at all.
The next day, her husband waited at the door of the cheating man’s company. The cheating man asked for leave and did not go to work.
The cheating man didn’t answer her phone calls. Finally, she found the cheating man’s parents at home.
asked his parents to call, and the cheating man answered the call. Only at the request of his parents did the cheating man go home.
The cheating man was called away by his mistress that day. The mistress was well prepared and wanted to keep the cheating man with her.
Then she provoked the first wife, thinking that the first wife would become angry and divorce the cheating man directly.
But unexpectedly, Ms. Shi had too many concerns. Although she was angry, she did not mention divorce.
The cheating man expressed his willingness to return to his family, but he did not want to take full responsibility for the cheating and said he wanted to tell the truth to Ms. Shi.
What he called the truth was that he put the blame for his cheating on Ms. Shi.
He said that he cheated because Ms. Shi was such a good wife and loving mother. The two of them didn't look like a couple, but like a mother and son.
There is no passion in marriage, so cheating men only make mistakes when the mistress can seduce them.
If some first wives with relatively strong personalities heard the words of a cheating man,
would definitely accuse the cheating man and scold him: Is it wrong for me to be nice to you?
Ms. Shi is indeed a good wife and mother, with a relatively gentle personality, so she did not accuse the cheating man, and even accepted the cheating man's blame.
In order to continue to live a good life after the cheating man returned, she even began to change herself.
learns what cheating men like and the tricks mistresses use on cheating men to give cheating men a sense of freshness and excitement.
Ms. Shi originally thought that when a man cheated on her, she was not good enough and could not meet some of the needs of the cheating man.
She has changed according to what the cheating man said, and the cheating man will not cheat again.
But the reality is that the cheating man did rekindle his passion for Ms. Shi, but it only lasted three or four years.
The cheating man cheated again. This time the mistress was young, beautiful, lively and cute.
After Ms. Shi found out, the cheating man still said that he would cheat because Ms. Shi was not good enough and could not satisfy him.
Cheating men want to be in love forever, the feeling of first love, the feeling of youthful vitality.
It is obvious that Ms. Shi, who is in her forties, cannot change no matter how hard she tries.
Therefore, the cheating man used this as an excuse to refuse to return to the family. Ms. Shi tried hard for three years to no avail.
Because the mistress was pregnant and even wanted to be in a position of power, Ms. Shi did not dare to drag on any longer, so she came to Lan Fang for help. .
When an extramarital affair has developed to this point, it is not just the cheating man and the mistress who are responsible.
Ms. Shi herself is responsible for such a bad situation. Ms. Shi herself also has big problems.
Her problem is not that she is not good enough to meet the needs of cheating men.
But she couldn’t see or carry it clearly, and was too easily confused by the cheating man’s lies.
So how does the original partner solve the current dilemma.
- First of all, if you want to sort it out and establish a clear thinking, a man cheating is not because his original wife is not good enough.
No matter how good the original wife is, a man will still cheat. A man's cheating has nothing to do with his original wife.
You are gentle and virtuous, but if she thinks you are boring, she will find a mistress who is having fun.
If you like to play, but he thinks you can't live a good life, cheating on a good wife type mistress.
You are beautiful, but he feels insecure and looks for a lover who doesn't look that good.
You look safe now, but he thinks you are not good-looking and wants to find a woman with outstanding looks.
No matter how you are, if he wants to cheat on you, he can find fault with you, so the problem is not with the original partner.
- Secondly, analyze the root cause of men’s cheating, which is greed.
Cheating men like to find mistresses who are different from their husbands, all because of greed.
He no longer cherishes what he got from his original wife and wants more.
- Finally, solve the problem of men cheating so that cheating men don’t dare to be greedy anymore.
Food and clothing is all about lust. Not everyone has the conditions to be greedy. If he can't even provide food and clothing, he won't dare to cheat.
So what Ms. Shi wants to do is to threaten the cheating man’s food and clothing.
collects the evidence of cheating, sorts out the property, then finds the cheating man, asks for a divorce, and lets him clean up and leave the house.
The cheating man is unwilling, so the first wife tells the cheating man that she will make things worse. She will make trouble in the cheating man’s company, and she will make trouble every day.
must show off the momentum of fighting to the death, and even show up at the cheating man's company the next day after saying it.
Let the cheating man see Ms. Shi’s determination and know that he is facing a situation where he will lose both his life and money.
If a cheating man doesn’t want to lose both his life and money, he will definitely break up with his mistress.
But this is not enough. Even if you lose your first wife, you still have to divorce, but you should tell the cheating man that you can remarry.
Get all the property after divorce first, and then the property after remarriage will be Ms. Shi’s pre-marital property.
A man who cheats on his wife will be unhappy with his original wife at any time. If he gets divorced, he will lose both his life and money. He will never dare to cheat again.
Many people may say that they have already obtained the property, so why should they remarry?
It’s a matter of personal choice. Ms. Shi doesn’t want a divorce at all, because of her children and because she still has feelings for the cheating man.
These are not things that Lan Fang can do for her. What I can do is help her solve the problem and protect her interests to the greatest extent.
Finally, Lan Fang would like to remind the first wives that when a man cheats, it is not because you are not good enough,
but because you cannot solve the extramarital affair by changing yourself.
Men cheat because they are too greedy and want too much. What they have within the marriage is not enough, and they have to find someone outside the marriage.
You can never satisfy a greedy man. Instead of changing yourself, it is better to make the cheating man dare not be greedy anymore.
Although it is more difficult to change others than to change yourself, only by solving the root cause of the problem can we prevent the problem from happening again.
If you encounter cheating and don’t know what to do, you can follow Lanfang and chat about your situation via private message.
I am Lan Fang, an emotional mentor who tells the truth and does practical things.
