Glass is fragile and feelings are easily scattered. Too many marriages tell us that relationships cannot withstand the polishing of time, let alone the test of reality. We obviously love each other and hold hands in this mortal world; the beautiful beginning was shattered by the trivialities of time.
The initial feelings are true, and the previous vows are still in my ears. Under the temper of life, each other has new requirements for each other, and has its own understanding of marriage. In the repeated blows of life, because of The selfishness in human nature eventually leads to separation.
It is said that a woman's life is not easy. When she is a daughter, she is required to be obedient and sensible;
In life, many men think that "when they marry a wife, she will come back to fulfill her filial piety for him." If the wife is unwilling, she is not virtuous and unfilial, and is not a good woman, let alone a good wife, and should leave the court immediately.
In ancient times, women lived dependent on men, marrying men to dress and eat. However, today's women have the ability to live independently. If they marry into their husband's family and are treated well by their mother-in-law, women will naturally reciprocate the kindness. In the
community, 56-year-old Sister Qin was asked for divorce by her husband because she did not want to take care of her paralyzed mother-in-law. However, she said: has wanted to do this for a long time. Just leave. Anyone who leaves can live a good life.
Confidant: 56-year-old Sister Qin
I am 56 years old this year and have been retired for 6 years. My wife will retire in a few years, and my only daughter is working in another place and starting a family.
Some time ago, my mother-in-law was paralyzed in bed due to an illness. My wife and my brothers and sisters discussed asking me to go to my mother-in-law's house to take care of her. I pointed out that I am now suffering from menopause and there is no part of my body that is not in pain. We should follow the same method as in the hospital. The three families will pay to hire a live-in nanny to take care of my mother-in-law. We are close to each other, so it is okay to go home often to take care of her. .
If I were asked to take care of my mother-in-law 24 hours a day, maybe she would be fine and I would leave early. When I expressed my thoughts, my eldest sister first said, you are retired and have nothing to do. Taking care of your mother may be more beneficial to you during menopause. Besides, we don’t let you take care of you in vain. Every month We will give you a fee of 1,000 yuan.
I didn’t say anything, but my wife’s eldest brother continued, “Brothers and sisters, you see your sister-in-law has to take care of her grandson, and your aunt also has to take care of her grandson. There are three of you, but you have nothing to do now. We will pay you on time every month. , it will never cost you to pay for .
I said to my husband, you are also retired, so you can take care of me. I will also pay you monthly wages, so your efforts will not be in vain. Before I could finish speaking, my eldest aunt and uncle scolded my wife angrily, saying that my wife was incompetent and couldn't do anything at home.
At that time, my wife gave me face and said to my eldest aunt and uncle, you can go home, we will take care of mom here. My wife looked confident, then turned to me and said, , go and make some liquid food for mom first, then find some clothes for mom, and wipe her body after a while.
I didn’t move or speak. After hearing what my wife said, my eldest aunt and uncle went back to their respective homes. My wife and I were left in the room, and my wife was still there, yelling at me to work, and scolding me for being ignorant, impersonal, and unvirtuous.
I ignored him, turned around, picked up my bag and went back to my own home, leaving my wife alone at my mother-in-law's house. Don't say I'm cruel. Don't try to persuade others to be kind without going through their suffering.
I have been married to my wife for more than 30 years. My husband’s family treats me as an outsider and has never treated me as one of their own. Before my eldest uncle retired, he was a leader and always looked down upon me, a low-level operator. My eldest aunt was even more condescending. No matter what I did, in her eyes, I They are all high up on their family.
At first, I was pursued by my wife for a year before I agreed to marry her. We also had a happy relationship and companionship. With the birth of my daughter, my mother-in-law’s discrimination, and the eldest aunt and uncle Brother doesn't care, I am inferior in their family and have no say.
I work hard to educate my daughter, cultivate her reading skills, and accompany her to learn piano, so that she can be capable and capable and become what she wants to be. Because I know how humble it is for a woman to have no say in her husband's family.
In the thirty years of marriage between my wife and I, I also know that he has had several confidantes, and he has also experienced physical and mental betrayals. For my own sake and for the sake of my daughter's future, I have been holding back. As long as he still pays his salary, I don't care about anything else.
Nowadays, my daughter has a good job and a good family. I also have savings and pension. I can live a good life alone in the future.. As long as my wife is not too excessive, I am still willing to forgive everything. After all, it is not right for an old couple to divorce. Everyone is hurt.
My eldest aunt and uncle have always had the final say in this family, but this time, I did not obey their arrangements and did not give my wife this face. They were very angry and didn’t know what they said in front of my wife. , after my wife took leave for half a month, he came back and told me, if you don’t take care of my mother, let’s get divorced.
I was sweating inexplicably at the time (menopausal night sweats). When I heard him say this, my heart suddenly became cold. It turned out that in his heart, married a wife to fulfill his filial piety for him. When marrying a wife, he had to obey their arrangements. Otherwise, he would be unfilial and unvirtuous, and he would be divorced.
I kept calming my emotions and said coldly, OK, I have wanted to do this for a long time. Then I started to pack my things, found the suitcase from the basement, and got everything ready. I told my wife, you write the agreement and I will come back to sign and complete the formalities.
My wife did not expect me to be so decisive. He thought that if he scares me, I will be the same as before. As long as he loses his temper, I will do what they ask, whether it is the eldest aunt's pickiness or the eldest uncle's. "Order".
In the past, I took care of my father-in-law without any complaints. This was because in this family, he was the only one who still smiled at me and knew my grievances and difficulties. So when he was sick, I would take care of him and give him soup and medicine.
But now I am like this myself. Not only does my wife not feel sorry for me, but she even asks me for it with confidence. My aunt and uncle also think that I am soft-tempered and easy to talk to. In their eyes, it seems that this is what I should do. everything.
Faced with such a wife, divorce is good for everyone. Maybe I will be lonely, but my heart is full and plump. I no longer have to wrong myself, look at the faces of my eldest aunt and uncle, and I no longer have to be ordered by my wife to be someone's free nanny.
My forbearance for more than thirty years has already made my heart cold. Now that he has taken the initiative to file for divorce, isn’t it just right? Let each other go, and he can go find a woman who is willing to take care of him.
Don’t say I’m heartless or irresponsible. There is a cause and effect for reaching this point.
Conclusion:
reminds me of this passage: "A woman is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, but first of all she is herself. Without an independent self, no one can give her freedom; without a complete self, no one can make her complete. . On the road to finding happiness, the most reliable way is to find yourself. "
In thirty years of marriage, I have wronged myself and helped others, just for my own face and for my children to have a complete family, but I have forgotten it. of myself. Now getting divorced for this reason is also a relief.
Bi Shumin once said: "The essence of marriage is like a slow-growing plant. It needs constant irrigation, fertilizers, pruning and killing of pests in order to have a lasting green shade."
If there are two people in a marriage, If individuals do not complement each other, accommodate each other, and understand each other, they will always give blindly. There will be times when they are tired. When the tired person does not want to give anymore, the marriage will come to an end.
Author: Huagui Zenxin
Pay attention to my words and enter your soul. You have stories, I have tea, and we can chat for the rest of our lives together.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.
