Q: Are
first-tier cities a "partner choice desert"?
Chen Man:
is probably!
But if first-tier cities are deserts, will other places necessarily be oasis?
For women to choose a mate, it is important to see clearly what "desert" you live in and what kind of "urban animal" you are?
Camels are tortured when they leave the desert; if they are a desert wolf, they may not be able to adapt to the desert climate!
01 See clearly the “desert landform”
There will be a landform difference between this desert and that desert, and there may be huge differences between first-tier cities and first-tier cities.
For example, some first-tier cities have outstanding regional cultural styles. They are more xenophobic in the local area. When choosing a spouse, they pay more attention to local household registration and equality. They even do not even consider "big yard children" that are not within their own regulations.
and have some first-tier cities to revive business . They use the mentality of starting a company to form a marriage. Choosing a partner will make you more picky about the objective conditions such as houses, cars, tickets, education, etc.;
also has the appearance of some first-tier cities. The trend is actually traditional . The age of marriage and childbirth is earlier than that of other cities, and everyone falls in love early. Some even have just started college and have already established a family. When the parents of both parties are old, they will add marriage certificate when they are old;
Another first-tier city has developed technology and . The atmosphere of "indigenous people" is weakened, and talents are gathered in various places. The unspoken rules for choosing a spouse are more focused on whether both parties have corresponding work abilities, similar views, perseverance to work together and strong enterprising spirit, and can jointly shoulder the high costs behind convenient life.
First-tier cities are like this. Is it easy to choose a mate if you are not a first-tier city?
The human nature of small places, the high bride price in some areas, the local custom of favoring boys over girls, the selfish utilitarianism forced by poor mountains and rivers, good face and comparison, and picky about choosing a mate...
(Please note that the above observations are only derived from my personal lack of rich travel experience. If you do not agree, you shall prevail.)
02 Be the right "urban animal"
In short, if you want to talk about choosing a mate at a high standard in modern society, it is not just first-tier cities. There is a desert everywhere and there is no oasis everywhere.
So for men and women who want to choose a mate wisely (any region), it is important to see the map clearly and recognize yourself.
Are the survival skills you individually match the environmental requirements?
is in "exclusive desert" , you have average conditions and a local household registration alone, and you have a chance to meet a good partner;
is in "material desert" , you have a lovely personality and interesting soul, but you earn thousands of dollars a month, and it is not easy to find a partner who is willing to go to both directions with you;
is in "traditional desert" , most of the people around you are involved in love early, waiting for your emotions to be enlightened, and there are few waiting for you alone;
is in "technology desert" , can you keep up with the pace of the city and find a good match with your ability and speed, and no one will hold back?
Even if you escape from first-tier cities, just in terms of choosing a partner, do you have corresponding competitiveness in other places?
Are you familiar with the unique cultural context of the local area and clarify which ladder is everyone climbing here? Can you immediately adapt to the rules of the game and give yourself more choices in choosing a partner?
What kind of urban animal are you, it determines whether you are like fish in water or walking on thin ice when choosing a mate in which city.
You may say, this is too realistic and ruthless, is there no love anywhere?
No, no, no, no, no, whether it is a first-tier or non-first-tier city, love is everywhere, but it is not easy to choose a spouse anywhere.
