Fighting is a normal and often healthy part of a relationship. However, it all depends on choosing the right argument. According to a YouGov poll, more than 90% of American couples argue. People tend to argue about their partner's "tone" more than anything else. They rarely debat

Fighting is a normal and often healthy part of a relationship. However, it all depends on choosing the right argument.

According to a YouGov poll, more than 90% of American couples argue.

People tend to argue about their partner's "tone" more than anything else. They rarely debated religion, politics, or career choices. Fighting can be healthy for a relationship, but it all depends on the topic. Ignore the small stuff and focus on the really important issues.

We all argue. Even the soft-spoken, even-tempered yogis of the world occasionally argue. But the most common discord is within our relationships. Few other aspects of our lives are felt so strongly, both in quality and quantity. Living with someone, or navigating the lawless soap opera of love, is never easy. From disheveled grooming and Netflix cheating to cruel words and selfishness, relationships are the tear-filled battlegrounds of our lives.

But what are the things that make us most nervous? Thanks to a new YouGov survey, we know the answer—for Americans, anyway. How much

is too much?

Sometimes a little drama in life can be fun. The adrenaline of a shouting match, the excitement of an angry word, can make people feel excited. But an exciting one-off game rarely makes you a happy new regular. Arguing with your spouse or partner can increase your blood pressure and damage your immune system. According to a YouGov report, 26% of people raise their voices during arguments and 14% cry almost every time. This is really not good for your body.

So how many couples are quarreling? More than 90% of couples are quarreling. Nearly half of couples fight multiple times a month, and 8% say they fight every day. Interestingly, only 3% said (or claimed) they had no arguments at all. Obviously, arguing with your partner is a common and normal part of a relationship.

Of course, different couples have different baselines for what constitutes an "argument." For some, a firm tone or rude demands may be an argument. For others, it might involve yelling and crazy, cartoonish gestures.

What are they arguing about?

According to a YouGov survey, the most common reason for arguments is "tone." For 39% of respondents, it doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it.

Think about it, the most common reason for arguments is not the substance, but one's attitude towards it. It's amazing, if you can restrain your sarcasm or snarky comments, many times you can avoid an argument altogether.

After that, things get more practical. Americans argue over money, who does household chores (or who doesn't), and relationships with family members. This may not only apply to Americans. This has been the subject of sitcoms and jokes since the beginning, but we did fight about our in-laws quite a bit.

Surprisingly, hot topics like religion and politics are almost at the bottom of the list. Of course, one possible explanation is that these issues are addressed or accepted in the early stages of the relationship. If you go on a date and find out your dinner partner is a Christian, Republican banker instead of your atheist, Democratic yoga instructor, you may never see that person again.

Pick your battles and fight fair.

In some ways, the argument is a good sign. Arguments can be a constructive step forward: they clear the air and smooth out wrinkles before they become an unbridgeable chasm. YouGov tells us, "Half of Americans in serious relationships (50%) say they argue with their partner in a very healthy or somewhat unhealthy way, while 30% say they argue in a very unhealthy or somewhat unhealthy way." With Contrary to popular belief, debate can be healthy if done well.

Oddly enough, argument is a compliment. People only quarrel about things they care about. After all, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.According to a 2019 study published in the journal Family Processes, some of the happiest couples in the world argue just as much as everyone else. What the paper points out is that happier, longer-lasting couples argue about the issues that really matter and they also resolve them. They recognize the obstacles and want to fix them for the future. Smaller problems are ignored. Ultimately, it doesn't matter if your spouse forgets to put the toothpaste cap back on the toothpaste tube; however, whether and how much money should be saved for children's college is worth discussing.