Why do you devote yourself to your children and your husband after marriage, but you don’t get the corresponding respect? Today we will talk about the harm of excessive efforts in to .
Teacher Hu must tell you, something very heartbreaking , sometimes you go too far and think about your children and your husband. This is not a virtue, it is called a very cheap self-impression .
Because this kind of dedication lasts for a long time, in the minds of your family members: you should do this, so what kind of harm will it cause?
The first one will break the emotional link between family members
Let me give you a very simple example. This is a detail that appears in many families, such as eating at night.
From the perspective of our marriage therapy, it is a very important family activity. As the children get older, their parents have to go to work and they have to go to school. In fact, the time when the family can really get together is during meals. time, so when eating, everyone should sit together and chat while eating, add each other's food, the children help you put the bowl of rice, and clean up together after the meal. It should be such an interactive .
But if many of us sisters eat with this idea: I must let my son eat more of this sweet and sour pork ribs today. I specially cooked this braised prawns for my husband today. , you need to eat more .
So throughout this activity, you found that you were completing the task. You were mainly responsible for making them eat well. After eating, the two old men went to lie down on the sofa and watch TV. One of you went to the study to look at your mobile phone, leaving you alone to clean up the .
So you see there is no emotional link here. This is very important. You can understand each other about what happened today, whether you were happy or unhappy. Such a moment is wasted by you. You just regard it as your own and part of your daily tasks. One item was completed in a very rigid manner.
The second harm is that it will cause you to be gradually marginalized in this family.
Why is the dedication of your husband and children to you invisible and disrespectful to you? The biggest problem here is , we will unknowingly put ourselves in a role like, I am serving you.
You always seem to be the first one, you are the last one to eat, you are the last one to take a shower after eating, and you are the first one to get up in the morning , then as time goes by, men will think that you are not needed If you are respected , you are suitable for this, and the same is true for children. He will think that his mother is not worthy of respect , and the mother is responsible for doing these things.
The third most serious harm is to hinder the personality development of children.
You will find that especially boys, they will gradually form a stereotyped impression of women in such a family environment. , women It is used to serve men.
When he was growing up, he would be a relatively strong person in his interpersonal relationships, such as with his classmates or with his friends.
Even when he grows up, when choosing a mate, he will become not understanding women. He will think that all women should be more tolerant and more giving like my mother.
And in such a family, what kind of impression will children form? My father and I are from high-class families, and my mother is from low-class families. You see, this is a great hindrance to a child's healthy personality development.
So if you are currently in such a situation, you must understand these three harms deeply, and then tell yourself, only when you love yourself can you produce healthy and normal love, and you can Get the same, equal feedback with .
