I have wine and tea. If you have a story, come to me. Click "Follow" above, you are my person. 01 Luo Zhenyu's "The Talk of Weird": "Growth is the gap between your subjective world and the objective world. If you fall into it, it is called setback; if you climb out, it is called

I have wine and tea. If you have a story, come to me.

click "Follow" above, you are my person.

Luo Zhenyu " Weird Talk ": " Growth is the gap between your subjective world encountering the objective world. If you fall into it, it is called setback; if you crawl out, it is called growth. "

Everyone's life is a process of setbacks and growth, and it repeats itself. Although such a life sometimes makes us feel tired, this is "living".

As Yu Hua said: " Living is one of the most powerful words in Chinese. Its power does not come from shouting or attacking, but endures, endures everything that life brings to you. "

Some people may say, I don't want to endure, I must take the initiative to attack, let life do nothing to me. Of course you can have such an attitude, but you always have times when you are powerless, and you have to endure it.

To endure everything brought by life is not to be timid or to admit defeat, but to the only way to go now. This is why we always hear some people say "being through suffering". Enduring means enduring. If you can't bear it when you should endure it, you will be in chaos. In the future, more suffering will be waiting for you to endure.

The process of living is a process of constantly fixing errors, not enduring much pain, and constantly moving forward. If you feel troublesome, you can die. But if you still want to live, then don’t want to take shortcuts in the face of the sufferings of life, because there is no shortcut to take.

We all mistakenly thought that we had found a shortcut, but in the end we found that those so-called shortcuts are the embodiment of suffering. In the end, we have to admit the helplessness of life, the bitterness and darkness of life. But we don’t have to define this as a bad thing. It is precisely because life is hard, so it can better demonstrate how valuable it is to end the suffering and be sweet.

2

I am 35 years old this year, married, have a child, and live with my mother-in-law.

I once hated such a life very much. I didn’t want to live with my mother-in-law. I can explain many reasons why, but the one that accounts for the largest proportion is following the trend.

Whether in reality or on the Internet, there are arguments about conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This argument can easily make people without independent opinions follow the trend. They think that they have discovered the truth of their marriage, but in fact they have become vassals of other people's thoughts.

How a person views marriage and how he or she views the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be defined by himself. Other people’s opinions are bullshit and are not worth referring to at all.

I had a conflict with my mother-in-law because I referred to other people's opinions. I have been hostile to her from the beginning and always feel that she wants to harm me. If we have a little disagreement, I will turn against her.

My mother-in-law never turned her face to me. I don’t think she respects me, but thinks she is guilty. However, something that happened afterwards subverted my perception.

3

Because I have opinions about my mother-in-law, I rarely stay with her when I am not at work and basically go back to my parents' home. Although I am already married, I always feel that my parents' home is my home and my family is my closest person.

It’s not just as simple as going back to my parents’ home frequently. Every time I go back, I buy a lot of things and give my parents money to spend. When they ask me for money, I never ambiguity.

I didn’t take these things seriously. When my mother was sick and hospitalized, I even wanted to take out all the money from my family to help my mother’s family.

My mother-in-law stopped me, refused to allow me to take away all the money, and even called me a prodigal woman.

I yelled at her again: "My mother was sick and hospitalized. It was the time when I needed my efforts. Why didn't I help my parents' home?"

mother-in-law said: "HTM7 poverty alleviation is over. Even if our family has mountains of gold and silver, my son always earns one million yuan a year, and he can't stand it. You can calculate for yourself. How much money have you paid for your parents' home from marriage to now? Where does the money come from? Do our family owe you money? Did you marry a money tree? It's not that I'm stingy and don't let you help your parents' home, but that there is something wrong with your starting point.I can tell you responsibly that your parents ask for more and more money, and you never refuse every time. Sooner or later, you will suffer a big loss and sooner or later, and sooner or later you will be slapped in the face by reality! "

I didn't want to compromise and insisted on taking away all the money, without considering the consequences at all. I never dreamed that this time I left, I would suffer a hardship that I couldn't bear.

My mother's illness is actually not as severe as she said on the phone, and she doesn't need that much money at all. However, she did not return the excess money to me, but said she would keep it for me first and give it to me when I need it.

I soon need to use money because my husband is sick and really needs to use a lot of money. I thought of going back to my parents' house to get money, but my mother told me: " I lent that money to your brother. He lent it to his wife's family. I just borrowed it and asked someone to pay it back as soon as I lent it. It would definitely make people laugh. You can think of your own way! Your mother-in-law must still have money. They just pretend to be pitiful and say that they have no money. You just say that your mother-in-law is willing to not treat her son? "

My mother-in-law is really out of money. She gave all her money to my husband, and my husband gave me all the money, but I didn't keep a penny.

I couldn't watch my husband had no money to treat his illness, so I had to borrow money everywhere, and finally I had to pay the house out.

Although I have enough money, the pressure comes with it. I can't imagine how to pay back the money in the future. At this moment, when I think of what my mother's family did, I really hate myself.

Mother-in-law advised me to think about it: " has come to this point, and it is useless to worry. I won't say anything extra. After these things, I believe you will grow a lot. You don't have to worry about money. I can still work. I will pay the debt with you. The family does not distinguish between you and me. It is family affection. "

I feel that I was not a thing when I used to be good. I actually treated such a kind mother-in-law as a bad person and opposed her everywhere. I always thought that my mother-in-law was good to me, but as a result, my mother-in-law made me feel disappointed; I always thought that my mother-in-law was not good to me, but in the end the heart-warming person turned out to be my mother-in-law.

So, people cannot follow the trend and make conclusions. Other mother-in-law treats them badly, but your mother-in-law may not be bad for you. After all, you should keep your eyes open and verify who is the most worthy of your kindness.

Our foreign debt has been paid off long ago. Now our family lives together. Although we are not rich or powerful, we are very happy.

The most important thing about a family is the atmosphere, the most important thing is the heart-to-heart talk, and the most important thing is to share weal and woe .

In the process of getting along with my mother-in-law and children, I gradually understood this truth: in this world, the ones in question are never a certain identity, but a certain kind of person.

Whether a person is a man or a woman, whether he is a child, whether he is a mother-in-law or a parent, it is not that his identity determines whether they are good or bad people, but what kind of person they have lived as.

A person insists on being a bad person, even if he is a parent, he is still a bad person. If a person is a good person, even if he is a stranger, he is a good person .

can understand this truth. When others speak about a certain identity, it is easy to find that their views are not objective.

In this life, if suffering is created by oneself, it is best to make up for the mistakes by oneself, so that suffering can become a stepping stone for growth. If you are trapped in suffering and cannot get out, you will always blame others and will eventually achieve nothing.