Many people don’t know why more and more friends are gradually alienating themselves. What are the reasons? How can we improve interpersonal relationships?
Why do friends Seven reasons to alienate you
1. The entanglement of wealth and profit. Pure friendship is based on trust. People nowadays cannot trust each other, and once there is a dispute over interests, they will all fall apart. There have been countless examples of friends fading or even breaking off due to disputes over interests.
2. Different values. Like-minded is the ideal state of friendship with friends, but this situation is really rare. There are often more daily exchanges between good friends. If there are often differences in the main values when getting along, they will gradually become alienated over time. It's not all the same, the way is different.
3, personality differences. Personality differences will produce psychological distance. Two people who have a distance between themselves will produce things that they like, but the other side does not like them, and the other side does a good thing for themselves, but they are disgusted. In the long run, the friendship between the two quickly faded.
4. Actual distance. Three days without seeing you should be admired, people change really fast. No matter how good friends are, if they haven't seen each other for a few years, they will lose trust because they don't know what each other has experienced, and the relationship will become strange. Fortunately, now that the Internet is available, it may ease some.
5. Disrespect each other and over-understand each other’s privacy. People have dignity. No matter how good the friendship is, they must respect each other. The essence of interpersonal communication is to accurately grasp the scale. Especially the privacy of your friends, don’t ask what you shouldn’t ask, don’t say what you shouldn’t, otherwise, the other party will hate you very much, but if you are embarrassed to say, you can only stay away from you and distance you. Understand?
6. Use friends as tools. Many people say that friends use it. This sentence actually has no long-term vision. One's life, the most lacking is a confidant, a good confidant can not be exchanged for gold and silver. If you use the people around you as tools, I would like to ask, who is stupid in this world? Sooner or later, he will be far away from you, and even turn against you, disrupting your life everywhere.
7. Be jealous of each other. Jealousy is the most common and the most likely behavior to damage friendship, but it is also human nature.
Psychological guide: Treat your friends with your heart, like you want to be treated. Discover the strengths of your friend, help your friend struggle and accept him regardless of his identity, and maintain and manage your friendship with your friends. The American thinker and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "The only way to win friendship is to show goodwill to others." He disagrees. After all, there is not only one way to go and to do things. The method is not unique. Here are some ways for you to maintain friendship, I hope to help you.
1, keep in touch
Do not lose contact between good friends due to the passage of time. In addition to long-term conversations, we should also use WeChat, SMS, postcards, and emails to greet each other from time to time. This is how friends integrate into our lives in ordinary ways. When they are trying to understand our lives, you should look for opportunities as much as possible to share the joy and emotion of life with them. Yes, some friends have lost contact for many years, but we can still continue the unfinished friendship with them. During this period, they and their partners can look for opportunities to enhance the friendship that they missed in those years.
2. Don’t compare
Friends don’t have to worry about why they called you or invited you last, and don’t compare who gave the most expensive birthday gifts. But looking at everything from a long-term perspective, they are likely to use some unexpected ways to maintain the balance of friendship. When I was chatting with that girl, I learned that she never invites her friends to go for a walk on the beach, because she hopes her friends can actively invite her to do something better. look! When people are unable to help or invite friends or even fail to call in time, there are always many legitimate reasons to comfort me. Of course, sometimes friends’ lives are just smoother than others, they may be in a period ofIn time, there is more leisure, more money and even more opportunities than friends. But the so-called friendship is not to make everything equal in life.
3. Equality and respect
What good friends feel is equality and respect. When a friendship develops well, friends will become intimate. They will share each other's experiences, listen to each other's voice, and be honest. Even if they find that the other person is smarter than themselves, they will not feel inferior. Because they do not feel superior when they share insights, no one will distinguish between noble and inferior friends. A true friend is going hand in hand.
4, loyalty
Friendship requires loyalty. Friends cannot talk about each other’s deficiencies in front of others, nor can they spread rumors and scandals that would harm their friends. Therefore, we should help each other instead of worrying about friends being slandered in the back. Even if a good friend knows the other's weaknesses and shortcomings so easily, they can still accept it. Because they care for each other, they will be loyal to each other.
5. Remember their birthday
Little things are also important. A good friend should be considerate. Remember the important things that happened in your friends' lives, and express your condolences in a certain way. They celebrate the seemingly ordinary festivals with their friends, and they often use small things to show friendship. For example, stop working and put a cup of coffee on their desk, or say thoughtfully, "You are great!" when they finish their errand.
6. Resolve conflict
Conflict is inevitable in interpersonal communication. Friends can't let small problems swell into big contradictions. They should give each other full trust and carefully maintain their friendship even when they disagree. This means that even if conflicts occur in the future, they should be resolved in time instead of being left alone.
7. Become a fan of a friend
A true friend will feel the same joy when celebrating an achievement for a friend. They will let each other know how much they admire each other. They appreciate the admirable things that each other has done, and they will encourage each other to grow hard and applaud each other.
runs through the golden rule
"Golden Rule" will make you win long-term friends. They treat their friends with heart, as they wish to be treated. They discover the strengths of their friends, help them fight and accept them regardless of their identity. Together they maintain and manage their friendship.
All of this requires thinking, time, cooperation, affirmation and dedication. Even though we have hundreds of "fans" on Weibo, only a few special people have really entered our lives. That is our best friend. They share the journey of our life together and enrich the color of our life in some special ways. So dear friends are like things we cherish. Let's maintain friendship! That way there will be different fun. In return, we will also reap a happy friendship that lasts forever.
