Face the unsatisfactory life, try a 5-step deconstruction method: face up, insight, reconstruction, love, assimilation

What is the difference between people and people? From the appearance, there is almost nothing, "Three-legged toads are not easy to find, and there are some two-legged people."

However, once something is particularly unsatisfactory, the big difference between people's response to it will be shown instantly. How big is the difference, for example, "It's even bigger than the difference between ape and fly".

The essential difference is of course the different thinking, more specifically, the different views and feelings about things, resulting in differences in words and deeds!

Napoleon was very short. Some people laughed at him. His counterattack was only one sentence. It would be the same height if he cut off the opponent's head.

The intelligence difference of ordinary people is similar to appearance, and the difference is not big. What really distances you is reflection and practice in the process of socialization. This includes rational handling, emotional management, and understanding of words and expressions. Finally, it becomes the personality response mode for handling things.

In other words, things are not important. Everyone is faced with unsatisfactory things. How to deal with things is important. In fashionable terms, this process is "cultivation" or "cultivation" or "growth."

From a cognitive perspective, dealing with things that are particularly unsatisfactory can be divided into these five steps: face up, insight, reconstruction, love, and assimilation.

It's best to give an example, let's talk about family education. Assuming that the child is generally learning, playful, and introverted, but the parents, relatives and friends of the child are very good, how to deal with education anxiety?

1. Face the child's ordinaryness and do not avoid it. Family education makes parents exhausted. One of the fundamental reasons is that they can’t see the real children. What parents see is the image of the child they imagined in their minds. This gives them an ostrich mentality and only sees what they want to see. This is to avoid reality, seeing the truth has power, so Lu Xun said, "A real warrior,Dare to face the dripping blood, and dare to face the bleak life."

2. Insight into the ordinaryness of children is inevitable. Children are three-dimensional, and the parents themselves are the same. There must be advantages and disadvantages. From this we can see that ordinary and excellent are Subjective evaluations will appear in different aspects of the child. Unfortunately, the child is not good at the aspect of learning that parents care about, or even if it is already better, it is still common to compare with the better. From this perspective, no one is excellent

III. Reconstruct the ordinaryness of children and firmly believe that the future can be expected. "Looking at the ridges and peaks on the sides" "The scenery is long and the scenery should be eye-catching." Since it is common and unavoidable, try to reconstruct its value. Life is just that the flowers bloom and fall early and late, and the flowers and trees have their own value. The depth of insight rises to the height of thinking, jumping out of the present time to see the long-term, jumping out of the present space to see Comprehensive, beyond the limitations of self-centeredness, see that the child belongs to his age. Only ordinary people have room for growth, ordinary people have little pressure, and the future of children's age can be expected. Whether you are ordinary, accept yourself as ordinary, how ordinary you are in the eyes of better people, think about how you came through, you can live a good life, your child will live his own life well, and you will experience the ordinary and ordinary way through the age The joy of progress.

5. Assimilate the ordinaryness of children, this is ourselves. With the help of family education, we accompany children to grow up, in fact, it is also self-experiencing young times again. It is the children who give us the opportunity to experience and believe that children’s "growth" I became me after I was born", so what we have to think about is how to be a role model for our children!

With the help of family education anxiety, it means that the essence of life is all kinds of unsatisfactory problems. It is regarded as a problem of not avoiding, and insight is a problem of normalization. Reduce anxiety , refactor to have the power to break out of the current limitations,Love is to live in peace with the problem, and assimilation is to realize that we and the problem are one.