There was a girl who left a message saying that she broke up with her boyfriend who had been in love for more than two years.
Breakup was not a sudden decision, but a "having a grudge" between the two people, and the girl became increasingly dissatisfied with her boyfriend.
The reason is:
Every time I quarrel with my boyfriend, the boy is used to being silent; she is hysterical, she wants to reason, she wants to talk to the boy, but every time the boy responds to her with silence or indifference.
Almost every conflict, boys will remain silent.
It was not until her temper disappeared after the cold treatment that the boy would choose another way to bow his head and admit his mistake.
But this state of love made her more and more angry. She felt that the reason why her boyfriend was silent was that he did not love her enough.
After reading this consultation case, do you feel a little familiar?
In fact, in most intimate relationships, boys are "silent parties".
Whether in love or marriage, when men have conflicts with their partners, their subconscious thoughts are silence.
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Silence is not that I don’t love you, but the nature of men
Psychologists have done research:
The upper limit of the number of words spoken by men in a day will not exceed 8,000 words under normal circumstances.
The number of words a woman speaks in a day usually reaches 20,000.
What is this concept?
Women said a few words, but men may not even be willing to say a word.
Different thinking patterns, love views, and physiological structures lead to many differences between men and women.
Women are born to like sharing. No matter what happens, women have a partner to talk to.
A group of girls gathered together, and they talked about a lot of topics, including:
Clothes, cosmetics, work, men, children, emotions, gossip, entertainment, interesting things, and mood.
And men get together, there are only 4 topics to talk about: house, car, money, and women. The thinking mode of
also leads to different strategies for men and women to deal with when conflicts arise.
The purpose of a woman quarrel is not to solve the problem, but to "vent her emotions."
The purpose of men's silence is not to not want to solve the problem, but to avoid the stage of emotional instability.
Women vent all the negative emotions in their hearts, and the conflict is over;
When the girl stops getting angry, the man starts to reason, it makes no sense.
This is the truth and the helplessness in the relationship.
Girls care more about attitude and emotional issues. She only cares about the process and does not want to care about the results;
Men only cares about the final result. They don’t care so much about the process, they just want a reasonable result.
This is the nature of men.
They do not like to express themselves, nor do they want to express their feelings.
He just hopes to analyze the problem, solve the problem, find out who is right and who is wrong, and then let the contradiction end together.
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Boy is silent because he knows that "expression is meaningless"
When conflict arises, the boy is still willing to communicate with girls at the beginning.
However, when he reasoned, the girl talked about feelings to him;
When he talked about feelings, the girl talked about reasoning to him, asking him to bow his head and admit his mistake before continuing to talk, otherwise he would not be able to talk.
What do you think boys should do?
He said neither, nor did he say that he was not, and he was in a dilemma.
If a boy does something wrong, he will be pressed on the ground by the girl and will not be let go;
The boy did not do anything wrong, but the girl will also be blocked by the girl's hysterical words.
Do you understand?
Over time, boys have developed this mentality:
"I don't think I'm wrong, but what I said is meaningless; I can't convince you, and I don't want to take false faults, so I'd better choose to be silent."
And this is the essential reason for boys' silence.
can't say it, and if you don't say it, you will anger your girlfriend, and the boy is like being roasted on a fire, not knowing how to save himself.
There are two misunderstandings in love.
Misunderstanding 1:
If you love me, you should do everything for me, otherwise you just don’t love me;
Misunderstanding 2:
If you love me, you must tolerate everything about me, including the mistakes I made and my bad temper.
How unreasonable, how emotional, and how irrational a person can be taken for granted and say these two sentences with confidence?
True love must be based on respect, fairness and mutuality.
Respect each other, have equal status, and give each other. This is the most important way to maintain a relationship.
If every time a quarrel, a girl is unwilling to listen to the boy analyzing the problem, then the boy will lose the patience to communicate with you.
If every time a quarrels, the boy will escape without thinking. Over time, girls will be disappointed with you.
Do you understand this logic?
The important thing is to try to solve problems, tolerate each other, and understand each other.
If you can't even do these most basic things, how can you solve the problem?
In an intimate relationship, two mature people really need to show an inclusive attitude to better manage their relationship.
Today's topic: When conflicts arise in
, how do you solve the problem?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
