: What kind of mood you will get into a marriage will bring you the same ending, confidence will bring you respect, and inferiority will bring you obedience.
When I talked about this case today, Ms. Tang started a remarriage life with an inferiority complex, and what she got was grievance, depression, collapse, and even fear that she dared not enter the house.
A happy marriage can make people become angels, and a bad marriage can make people crazy. Everything I imagined before marriage was beautiful, but after marriage it turned into a mess.
Marriage and Love
Ms. Tang is young and beautiful, with outstanding abilities, and has her own small company before marriage. However, when choosing a partner, he fell in love with Mr. Chen, a worker with a weak appearance and average ability.
She doesn't want Mr. Chen to have money or not, she just hopes that he can be kind to her and give her a warm home. During the blind date, Ms. Tang said frankly that she had a marriage and her son followed her ex-husband.
Mr. Chen hesitated at this moment. He said, give me three months to consider it, and I will give you a reply in three months.
Three months later, Mr. Chen actually agreed to be together, but there was a requirement: he had to hide the fact that she had second marriage from his family and friends.
He said that gossip kills people, and doing so is to protect you from harm.
The man's mouth is lying to others, Mr. Chen clearly is for his own face. His true words are: Women with second marriage are inferior.
Ms. Chen obeyed, but she didn't dare to tell others that this was my son.
I think the second-marriage woman is not glorious, and my husband thinks the second-marriage woman is humble. When they are together with this state of mind, how can they create sparks of love? All they encounter is war.
New Year’s Eve dinner
0 After marriage, the once glorious female boss became cautious, afraid of revealing her second marriage identity. What you can get is the husband's irritability, beating or scolding, and the in-laws' growing arrogance.
A New Year’s Eve dinner, and it ended unhappily under grievance and helplessness.
When we first got married, Ms. Tang worked hard for the New Year’s Eve dinner and wanted to have a happy New Year. Not only did her husband and in-laws not only did not support her, but she gave her anger and scolded her.
The husband said that he had lunch at noon and there was no such thing as eating at night. He threw his chopsticks hard and the in-laws who were standing by the side didn't say a word. During the Chinese New Year, the family will not speak for three days.
A few days later, my father-in-law told her, marry a chicken and a dog and a dog. If you marry into our family, you have to follow the customs of the countryside. How can you come according to your customs? You have to eat it at noon.
Ms. Chen, who has personality, silently endured her father-in-law's ridicule without saying a word to her father-in-law.
Tough to beg for the child
Because of the background of remarriage, Ms. Tang has a difficult life in her in-laws' house. He hopes that one day he can let go of the burden in his heart and be himself well.
Mother-in-law said that without children, it won’t work in our family.
This sentence deeply stimulated Ms. Tang. She was eager to get a child. In addition to giving her husband and family an explanation, she also wanted to change her status in her in-laws' family by giving birth.
is different from ordinary women. Ms. Tang’s journey to seek a child is difficult and lonely, without the warmth of her parents-in-law and the company and care of her husband.
I got pregnant for the first time because I was worried about affecting the fetus and miscarriage.
The second pregnancy was due to the mutually exclusive factor of the couple, and they had three months of pregnancy. My mother-in-law scolded her: I deserve it! You are pregnant and running around and reporting good news to others everywhere.
The mother-in-law's harsh words gave her a fatal blow, and she became even more inferior.
Later, she found out that she had polycystic ovary syndrome and it was difficult to get pregnant. She kept looking for experts and professors for four years, and spent more than 100,000 yuan, almost all of it was her own efforts.
There is a business to manage and a rush to see a doctor. Her difficulties can be imagined, but her husband said he was busy with work and had no time to accompany her. No one understands or helps her, she often hides in the room and crys alone.
No children has become her pain point, and she is unwilling to socialize with friends and classmates.
Once, the old classmate invited her husband and his family to visit her home. Ms. Tang knew that the children of her family were running around and she was still worried about her child. She felt inferior and didn't want to go. Although her husband agreed not to go, he was filled with anger. While cooking dinner, he slammed the chopping board to the ground.
The husband scolded her: You can’t stop interacting with society just because you don’t have children.
When the parents-in-law come back, they scold you together: You are not virtuous, you are not good, and you have a bad temper!
She did not stop her husband from being a guest, but she didn't want to go. She hid in the room and cried with grievance. No one talked to him. No one paid attention to her for more than twenty days, let alone apologizing and comforting. Over the years, she has taken tolerance and grievance as a habit.
"Salted fish turn over "
Ms. Tang simply believes that the root cause of her marriage is that there is no child. Maybe everything will be fine with children.
Maybe God pays off. Ms. Tang is really pregnant. In order to protect her fetus, she stopped all her work and handed over the company to her husband to take care of. She hoped that this child would be born, which would add a hint of light to her dim marriage.
The son was born, and the husband's violent temper did not restrain himself.
When the child was full month old, the husband was furious about his wife due to the company's employees. Ms. Tang was not willing to be outdone and argued with her.
The mother-in-law accused Ms. Tang of her son: My son is so hard, you still have to dislike him.
Ms. Tang didn't know where the confidence came from, but she actually contradicted her mother-in-law: Mom, don't interrupt, don't worry about this matter.
Mother-in-law still said with unrestrained momentum that he is my son, why don’t I care! Why not help!
The husband was angry and took the child away from her and said to his mother: The child sleeps with you!
Ms. Tang was angry. This is the child I gave birth to, who would I sleep with if I don’t sleep with me!
In the past, Ms. Tang can tolerate it if she can, and she can give it if she can. With the birth of her child, she suppressed her emotions for many years and finally released. Her husband described her change as "a salted fish turning over", but she just became herself.
completely separated
After giving birth, Ms. Tang returned to the workplace, started cheating in her career, bought a new house, and changed into a new car. She finally flew freely, straightened her back, raised her head and chest to talk to her in-laws.
But my husband, who once said that he was the only one at home, became more and more inferior, his career was blocked, and he was poor and could not get a few thousand a month. His wife had already earned tens of thousands a month.
When transferring the new house, Ms. Tang thought it was more convenient to write a person's name, but her husband thought that it was his wife declaring sovereignty over the house. He didn't want to argue in the hall, so he endured it. He really didn't pay much.
On the first day of moving into the new house, Ms. Tang proudly said in front of relatives and friends that I had the idea to buy this house. Without me, he would never be able to live in this luxury house in his life. The husband felt humiliated.
In his wife's company, he was stretched and he was unwilling to ask for money from his wife because his self-esteem could not be accepted. He chose to leave the company and make a fortune by working abroad.
One person runs the company and one takes care of the child. She is used to making decisions alone. She does not pay attention to her husband's sensitive heart.
But the husband has no financial achievements and cannot be taken care of spiritually. Ms. Tang suffered from a strange disease due to excessive pressure and tension in her husband's relationship. She often couldn't breathe. She had to stay in the hospital several times a year, but the cause of the disease could not be found. Only her son, who was a few years old, was with her in the hospital. My sister-in-law called her husband, and her husband said, "What does it have to do with me when she is sick?" I am not a doctor, so what can I do."
Those who lie in the hospital spent lonely nights one by one, were wounds that Ms. Tang could not let go, and her heart was dead. This mansion that originally carried a happy life has now become a cold fortress. They compete to prove to each other that a person is living well.
Their relationship became increasingly tense, and even reached the point of quarrel in the circle of friends.
Every time she sleeps, she locks the door, and every time she comes back with her child, locks the door. She always felt a sense of fear, afraid that her husband would cut her with a knife one day.
The door she closed deeply hurt her husband's self-esteem. He made three iron rules: You can't eat my things, you can't enter my room, you can't touch my things.
The couple is constantly in secret fighting and conflicts occur frequently. They found that the once sunny son became increasingly timid and unsociable, and then they realized that there should be a saying in marriage.
Conclusion: This is a marriage without love and being loved, and their coldness is simply indescribable.
Guy said that there is no winner in the battle between husband and wife, only both sides are injured. I think the children are still hurt.
From the beginning, both of them did something wrong. They should face the second marriage with openness. The gossip is just temporary, but the burden in their hearts is tormented.
A man who cannot accept or even despise a woman with a second marriage should not marry him; a woman who thinks he has a history of marriage and cannot extricate himself should not marry him first. The facts show that it is really painful.
A good marriage should be to pull out a person with inferiority, rather than pressing you into the quagmire and never letting you look up. It’s not about turning a normal person into a low self-esteem.
The conflict between husband and wife is not about communication, but about closing the heart, which can only make the relationship worse and worse.
What exactly is the purpose of being together for men and women?
Emotional experts say that the meaning of marriage cares about the following points:
1. Emotional value, can two people comfort each other and communicate emotionally together?
2. Economic value. Can it give you a more stable life and more reliable material guarantee?
3. Mutual companionship. Are you waiting at home for the people who light up that light for you?
4. Take care of each other. The light bulb at home is broken, some people are broken, some people are repairing, they pour you a glass of water when they are sick, and they take you to the hospital.
Ms. Tang and her husband Mr. Chen obviously should have disintegrated long ago. But they wanted to repair their marriage for the sake of their children, and the two of them had been destroyed and were very strange. It was a bit difficult. #Looking for Group Life Home# #No. 1 Jieyou Pavilion#
