author | XQ happy student wings
coordinate | Chengdu
father and son against each other, calm persuasion
That night, as soon as I opened the door, I saw my husband sitting in the living room with a black face and sulking. I instantly realized that something was going to happen tonight!
Sure enough, my husband looked at me when he heard the noise at the door.
Before I greet him, he slapped his head and covered his face and said, "You know, my son was fined 40 questions by the teacher today! He was also deducted two points for failing his homework. ....."
"As soon as he came back today, he was still acting as a demon. I was so angry that I beat him up. At night, he cried while doing his homework. It makes the house smoky..."
I "snap" in my heart,I thought that I had only recently written a practice article to show the harmony of my family's parent-child relationship. I didn't expect it to be peaceful for a while, and then "on fire" again. It was really "face-slapped"!
I took off my shoes in frustration, and when I walked to the living room, I sat down on the sofa and didn't want to talk at all.
my husband didn’t notice my status, and he kept on beating his son, the more he was stunned. You can manage for a few days after playing, it’s you! The more spoiled, the more presumptuous, the more boastful, the more backwards, he is simply an unmotivated egg..."
I rubbed with a headache After rubbing temple, I suddenly realized that I didn't want to talk, I was avoiding the problem!
So I kept thinking in my heart: learning family education is not to have no problems, but to calmly face and solve problems when they come across!
If I replaced it with the previous one, I would definitely ignore it and directly angered my husband.
But this time,I said very calmly: "I know you are very angry now, shall we calm down? We are all grown-ups."
husband took a deep breath and watched It seemed to have calmed down a bit, but he was still dark and reluctant to speak.
I continued to gently say: "It's not that I spoil the child, I just accepted his true side. You see, he usually makes mistakes, I should criticize him. But if he is. Well done, we still have to praise."
"Whether it is criticism or praise, we need to pay attention to the way."
span1 span
Say: "How to pay attention?"
I patiently explained: "He did something wrong, but his behavior is poor, and it does not mean that he is not motivated. We just argue about the situation and criticize his wrong behavior. Fortunately, denying and attacking him at the identity level will affect his self-confidence."
husband finally calmed down, he said regretfully: Don’t say he’s been a bullshit."
I smiled and said, "Well,In fact, every time a child makes a mistake, it is an opportunity for growth. As parents, we need to guide him to face his mistakes. This is also a kind of learning for us. "
"We must learn to look at the problem from the perspective of resources!" "
When my husband heard this, he rested his chin in thought, and his emotions are no longer as excited as he was at the beginning.
comforts his son and finishes his homework
When we finish talking, the son has already taken a shower. He is cautious and looks like a grieved daughter-in-law against the wall. He walked, bowed his head.
I was a little bit dumbfounded, so I walked over and patted his back: "You put your clothes on first, don't catch a cold. Show me the homework in a while?
my son got dressed honestly, and took out his homework from the room crying.It was found that 8 of the 40 questions he was fined had not yet been written.
I feel a little dissatisfied: It is quite unwise to punish children with homework. This will weaken children's interest in learning. However, at the moment I did not think of a better solution.
Seeing that he has done most of it, there are only 8 channels left to finish. I decided to help him complete this assignment.
I motioned to him to go back to the room, he pouted, and leaned back to the desk and began to write strokes.
My words are mild: "Are you very angry now?"
He furiously touched his fingers and said, "I can't write these 40 questions.
I asked curiously: "Why did the teacher punish you?" , Was discovered by the teacher."
I noticed that his heart was opening to me at this time, and then asked: "Then why are you talking to classmates in class?"
He was a bit wronged,The voice was also crying: "The classmate sitting behind me kept calling me. I turned my head and was caught by the teacher! It was the same last time. The teacher hit me six times! The teacher thought it was me. I took the initiative to talk to my classmates!"
I touched his head distressedly: "It turns out that this is the case, did you explain it to the teacher?"
he twisted his head
Said: "No!"
I asked again: "Don't you dare to explain to the teacher, right?"
He wowed and cried out. I felt wronged and needed to be released at this moment, so I sat quietly beside him and waited for him to finish venting.
After crying for a while, he wiped his nose and wrote four questions _ppan3p1p5 _ppan0 p5 _ppan0 5 _ppan0 I comforted me: "You can take a break and write later, it's okay."
He immediately got up again happily, ran to the side and played with the blocks. After a while, I think it was a bit late. , To remind him to quickly finish the following.
he immediately waved his hand: "I don’t want to write,I want to play for a while now! "
I accepted his behavior that he didn't want to do his homework at this time, and said patiently: "Then how long do you want to play? "
The son looked at the half-made blocks on hand: "I can finish this robot!
I nodded in agreement, and said: "If anger is ten, how many points can you score now?"
While playing with the blocks in his hand, my son responded to me with a three-point comparison.
I smiled and said, "There are only three points!" It seems that these three points did not affect your building blocks. Mom thinks you can digest these emotions by yourself. "
my son smiled and said nothing. I saw that his mind was on the building blocks at this time, so he walked out of his room and went to take a bath first.
It was already ten o'clock in the evening, and at this time, suddenly came an impatient voice from her husband: "Why are you still playing with building blocks? Have you finished writing the questions?
I hurried over to hold my husband: "You go to bed first. "Turning around and said to his son, "At present you have three choices. First, you finish writing the remaining inscriptions; second, father and mother go to bed, and you play here by yourself, and then write after you have finished playing; third, turn off the lights and go to bed now, and don’t write the rest.You will explain to the teacher by yourself tomorrow. "
The son immediately put down the building blocks in his hand when he heard it: "I write now, mother, you accompany me!" "
said that he immediately ran to the desk again, and quickly finished the rest of the inscription, and smoothly organized the school bag very well.
strong guide to strong , Resolve emotions
Before going to bed, I chatted with my son for a while.
he smiled and squinted his emotions. The release is over!
I guided him with a smile: "Emotions can flow. When you have emotions, you can transform it through something like just now." Only when you are in a good mood can you do things more efficiently. "
The son nodded and said: "Yeah! I see!
At this time, the atmosphere is exceptionally harmonious, so I took the heuristic question: "Then what have you learned from today?
He lowered his head and thought for a while,Then I shook my head again: "I don't know."
I smiled and said, "Then mother said first. Through this incident today, mother found that you are a persistent child, although you are angry, 40 There are also many questions, but you still completed it seriously."
When I heard me praise him, he grinned silly.
I changed my conversation and asked, "Do you want to be punished next time?"
He waved his hand quickly and said, "Don't want span1 _p5 pbr3! Said jokingly: "Then next time a classmate calls you in class, what will you do?"
"I will definitely ignore him. I'll talk about it when get out of class is over." He stuck his waist in, serious Said.
I then inspired him: "This time the teacher punishes you, have you ever thought about why she punishes you and what is the motive behind it?"
"The teacher wants me Listen carefully in class and don't want me to talk in class anymore!" He replied quickly.
I touched his head: "Awesome, the teacher is not malicious, she is for your good."
The son said seriously, "Mom,I know.
The reason why I emphasize the motivation of the teacher is that I hope my son can see the teacher well. I don’t want him to resist the teacher, so I need to protect his positive feelings about the teacher. after
end the chat, the son happily went to bed.
"My husband intimate, son heart-warming"
The next morning, the alarm clock rang, and I was still lying in bed, but my son got up by himself.
my husband wanted me to sleep for a while, so he quickly got up to wash and prepare to send him to school. I suddenly I saw that my son was neatly dressed, and a little head smirked at the door of my room.
I got up and quickly praised him: "Why are you so self-conscious today? Did you sleep well yesterday? Come, hold one!
my son jumped to my bed, hugged me and turned around to go to school, before leaving, he thoughtfully helped me close the door.
He fell asleep in a good mood and had a good sleep. Only then did he wake up early this morning and feel refreshed.
It seems that my fire fighting last night was successful! Through practice, it is a warm morning that rewards me: my husband is caring, my son is caring.
If it was before, I must have had a quarrel with my husband. I accused him of beating the child, and he accused me of being too spoiled, and then we both vented our emotions on the child.
childishly lingering until the middle of the night to finish writing the penalty question, and then go to bed with enthusiasm, unable to get up in the morning, it is another war, it is a chain reaction, a vicious circle...
I am filled with this great contrast and contrast in my brain, and there is a sense of peace and happiness in my heart. This also makes me truly understand the deep meaning of the phrase "mother is the family's pinnacle":
I stabilize myself, my heart is calm, my husband and children can be calm, the problem can be solved well, and there are unexpected heartwarming gains!
Do you have any successful experience in "fire fighting"?
hurry up and leave the message at
to talk to Happiness King pbr17 _sp _br17 _br17Doudou
typesetting / Hu Danlei
Pictures / Pixabay
※ such as inadvertently infringing contact that is deleted
.
