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Hello, I have followed you for several years, I especially like you and love to read your mailbox column. I need Sister Sa’s help now, and I’ve been so sad recently. My boyfriend and I were together in March this year. He worked as a doctor in a township health center, about 5.6 thousand a month, and I worked as a nurse in a hospital in the city, for 4.5 thousand a month. If there is no accident, we may be ready to get married for a while.
But on the 5th of this month, because his father was not feeling well, low fever for half a month, his eyes were a little unclear. Her mother came to check because of ct in the previous few months. As a result, his father found mediastinal tumors and was diagnosed with malignant tumors in the past few months. In the late stage of sexual intercourse, further examinations found that there were multiple bone metastasis throughout the body, and pleura also metastasized. His mother's lung nodules were also considered to be an early cancer, because his father's eyesight was not visible. We thought it was a tumor metastasis that compressed the nerves, so we performed head MRI on his parents. The ridiculous thing is that his father had no problem with his mother's head, and another junctional tumor was found. The doctor suggested that he also undergo surgery as soon as possible.
learned this news from the fifth. I felt that the five thunder was overwhelming. My boyfriend was even worse. My boyfriend had less than 100,000 yuan in savings, and his parents might have a savings of 200,000 to 300,000 yuan. The doctor said that his father's survival time for chemotherapy for this disease was only 1-2 years, but the disease must be cured and it costs a lot. Now the body has cancer and pain. My boyfriend has been taking leave for leave to take care of them in the hospital for taking care of them. His aunt has also come back to take care of her mother. His aunt has always said that my boyfriend and I should be the sweetest and happiest thing at this time, and said that I was too unfair.
The elders around me knew about it and told me to relax my boyfriend. It is better to be short than long pain. They quickly separated and said that my parents are treating medical treatment. This is a bottomless pit. If I really get married, I will live a hard life. They feel sorry for me.
My mood is also very complicated. I have been having a few relationships but it went smoothly. I felt very happy when I met my current employee. As a result, I encountered this kind of thing again. I felt that I did not have enough confidence to face the days in the future. I felt that my breakup was carrying a heavy moral burden. I felt so panicked. I really wanted to find someone to talk to, listen to your opinions, and listen to everyone's opinions. Maybe I would feel a little better. Maybe the world isn't that bad.
Sa
Sister
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1day there are unexpected situations, people have good fortune and good fortune, and parents have cancer at the same time. For any family, it is a bolt from the blue. But the problem is definitely unavoidable.
Generally, in this case, there will be two villains fighting in your heart. One tells you that your boyfriend is very good and he is reluctant to let him go. What if he can't meet someone like him in the future? Can the days of enduring hardships be passed?
Another villain will tell you that two cancer patients and a younger brother who has just started working, your boyfriend is someone who likes to take on big things. In the future, the burden on the family and the weak reserve strength will be heavy on your shoulders in the future.
I know what you want to say you are worried about. First of all, must be a problem of money.
Two cancer patients, one of them is already in the late stage. With the cost of surgery and later chemotherapy, 300,000 is probably not enough. This may very likely mean that your boyfriend will be owed at a young age, and the car or bride price required for marriage will definitely not have other financial resources to buy it.
If your parents die, then the debt is basically your boyfriend to pay it back. If you get married, it means you need to bear the pressure of paying off your debts together. If you watch the sisters around you live a relaxed life without worrying about food and clothing, then your heart may collapse further.
Then, the pain you are worried about also includes the problem of weak reserve strength.
An elderly person with advanced cancer has basically entered the countdown for their lives. A mother-in-law who has undergone surgery may not be able to share the burden if you have a child in the future and need help. You need to bear all the burdens, and you may even need to take care of the elderly.
Because you also mentioned to me that your mother's financial situation is also average, and you have a younger brother, which implies that your mother's family will find it difficult to give you strong support. You must also think about this in advance.
Think about these two points clearly, and then ask yourself:
If you don’t have a house, a car, or no bride price, would you still be willing to marry him?
If you have no deposit, would you still be willing to marry him?
If you need to take care of your child in the future, and even take care of the elderly, are you still willing to marry him?
If you think that for you, the happiness you feel and the kindness to you are enough to give you the courage to fight against all these difficulties bravely. No matter what the future holds, you can grit your teeth and get through it. No matter what is important, only this person is the most important, do you think it can?
If you can, then there is nothing to say.
After making a decision, he will go all the way to the darkness without hesitation. Putting aside material and pressure, he will drink water with all his heart and survive the most difficult winter together, and will always persevere until the arrival of a good day.
If you can't, or rather, you are just because of moral pressure. You obviously want to break up, but you can't say it because of face. You can barely endure the urge to escape. Then what is waiting for you may be regrets and tossing again and again.
So girl, calm down and think about it, analyze the difficulties and problems, and put them in your heart to weigh them.
There are certainly moral concerns, but reality is reality. In the future, you cannot live by moral comfort. If you barely get married and can't hold on, wouldn't it hurt more to both of you?
In addition, there is another important thing, that is, look at your boyfriend's attitude .
Some men can stand on their own when facing difficulties. At the same time, in this process, did he also consider your difficulties, and what is his attitude towards these?
is to take responsibility, and then firmly tell you that I will work hard to handle it. Even if I feel wronged now, I will try my best to let these difficulties pass earlier in the future. I hope you can not be so stressed, or just give up and lie down, do whatever you want, and if you want to talk, just share if you want to talk?
In a relationship, giving is definitely necessary, but giving also needs to be mutual. If the other party can see your efforts, understand your difficulties, and understand your difficulties, then your efforts are worth it.
If he just thinks it's too difficult, if you abandon me at this time, you are heartless, then for you, this matter may be easier to deal with.
Finally, I want to say that everyone has different abilities when facing difficulties. We really should not kidnap others morally, nor should we kidnap ourselves morally. As long as we truly love you, we will do our best.
If you have this courage, you will be brave enough to charge forward and never regret making a move. If you really don’t have this ability, then admit defeat early and die early and be reborn.
