text/Flower Demon Hall
In John Gotman "Happy Marriage", the saying "Four Great Knights" appears. As long as these four knights appear in turn, the relationship between husband and wife will be broken, and these four knights are "criticism, contempt, defense, and cold war."
In a relationship, communication is extremely important. A marriage without communication will soon wither like a flash in the pan.
In life, many couples do not resolve the conflict in time after encountering conflicts, so that this contradiction gradually takes root and sprouts over time.
At the beginning, this problem may not be difficult to solve. It only takes one calming conversation. However, some people are unwilling to solve it in order to save trouble, and "shelf" their partner aside and wait for the other party to calm down.
The result can be imagined. On the surface, there is nothing wrong, but in fact, every time there are other conflicts, this matter will be revealed, and the two of them may even have a falling out one day because of this matter.
One party feels that the other half is unreasonable, and the other party feels that the other half never values their own ideas. This is actually caused by communication.
So, a man who loves you deeply will definitely be willing to communicate with you and will never neglect you.
Sister Wang and Brother Lin have been married for two years, but Sister Wang feels that Brother Lin is becoming less and less concerned about him, and even the other party is too lazy to pay attention to him when he talks. This makes Sister Wang always depressed and even suspects that he is someone outside.
Later one day, Sister Wang secretly followed Brother Lin, wanting to know what Brother Lin was doing recently, but the result was very surprising.
She found that Brother Lin had made an appointment with his friends to prepare for the wedding. Only then did she realize that Brother Wang didn't care about him, but because he had been preparing for their wedding, they were negligent. They had been married for two years but had not finished the wedding due to some reasons. So Brother Lin wanted to make up for each other this time.
Later, Sister Wang and Brother Lin had a conversation after the wedding. Brother Lin felt guilty and failed to take good care of each other's emotions. Sister Wang also apologized for her suspicion, and the two reconciled as before.
In fact, sometimes, it is not that there is a problem with your relationship, but that there is a lack of communication in your relationship and you are unable to stand on the same channel.
The affairs of Sister Wang and Brother Lin are considered lucky, but in reality, there are more unfortunate couples.
They first fell together because of love, but later they parted ways because of not love.
When a couple loses love, they will change from talking about everything to having nothing to talking about. Some people will even find it troublesome and escape communication, which is the so-called hanging their partner.
Such behavior is very cruel. Because the problem cannot be solved, there will always be a knot in the hearts of both of them, torture you every day and night.
The man who loves you deeply must be reluctant to see you sad, so even if he is angry, he will not fail to communicate with you.
You will find that although they have quarrels, they will reply quickly when the other party gives a step or talks, because love cannot be controlled.
Even if the other party is still angry, as long as you call him twice, he will definitely reply to you.
Most of the relationships in life break down because of quarrels, and the relationship breaks up after arguing.
But those who love you will not hurt you because they are reluctant to let you go.
People nowadays are very smart. They naturally know the consequences of not resolving the conflict. Therefore, men who love you must also hope that this conflict can be resolved. If your man is unwilling to come forward to solve the problem, then he must be afraid of things, and must have lost feelings for you and do not want to continue with you.
Wen Kavelin once said: "A heart-to-heart talk is a display of the soul."
A conversation can sometimes solve many problems and make your relationship more stable.
Marriage is more complicated than love, but as long as the two can discuss it, nothing is a matter.
Of course communication is important, and communication skills are also important.
ml2 If you have a man who is willing to actively communicate with you, it is lucky.
If not, you should also try to communicate with each other more every day to understand each other and increase intimacy.
When communicating, you should believe in the other party and believe that the other party loves you. You should discover what the other party needs, and don’t blame him at will.
As Dell Carnegie said: "If you want to be a person who is good at talking, then be a person who salutes and listens first. "
You need to understand the other party's needs. If you are fierce every day and start arguing after a few words, then the other party really dares not communicate with you.
So when communicating, you should also pay attention to the tone, method, content, and talk about future growth.
In addition, in "Dongwu Classmate Relations", Wu Bofan put forward a point of view called "Rapobot Law". Simply put, try to use turning words as little as possible, because most people will only pay attention to the second half and ignore the first half of the words.
If you praise the other party in the first half and blame the other party, then the other party's anger is likely to be Here comes.
In short, when communicating, we can think from the perspective of others.
Many things in life are lost because they do not know how to ask questions, such as knowledge, friends, and lovers.
When people grow up, the most important thing to pay attention to is thought. You have to constantly think so that you can constantly improve.
There is a saying by Leo Tolstoy : "Talking with people once is often more inspiring than working behind closed doors for many years. Thoughts must be produced in interactions with people, and processed and expressed in loneliness. "
If a man loves you, he will definitely be willing to communicate with you. If you quarrel, don't use the "cold war" method to solve it, because this method not only cannot solve the problem, but also makes the relationship between each other worse.
When he comes to communicate with you, you will communicate with the other party well; if he doesn't come to communicate with you, then you will take the initiative to communicate with him. As long as he is still willing to communicate with you, it proves that he still loves you.
