text|Xueluowuchen
Zhou Guoping once said: "Speaking with a ruler, playing with a degree, doing things well, knowing how to scale, knowing how to advance and retreat, everyone can live comfortably." span
In life, we must not speak too full, and we must have a standard for joking. Some things can be said, some things can't be said; don't go too far in doing things, know how to be precise, know the choices, so that you can live comfortably with each other.
Teacher Zhou Guoping said that it is actually a sense of boundary between people. The sense of boundary is a person's bottom line, like a ruler, with a degree. A good grasp of the degree is conducive to recognizing oneself and the relationship between each other.
In a marriage relationship, the sense of boundary is particularly important. It's a disaster if you don't grasp it well; if you grasp it well, it is the best preservative for marriage.
Unfortunately, many couples do not realize: forgetting the "sense of boundaries" is ruining your marriage.
01
Losing the sense of borders will only make the marriage worse and worse
is equivalent to the sense of border crossing the border in the marriage Will be punished.
I saw this thing on the Internet:
A man and his wife have been married for many years,It has changed from being uncomfortable to heart as still water.
Usually, two people have their own business to be busy. After having a child, time alone is getting less and less. The man felt that on such a day, he could see his head at a glance, and it was too dull.
At a class reunion, he met a female classmate whom he had a crush on for a long time in school. The two had a good time and they have been in contact since then. He will take time to meet and eat with female classmates.
Days like this make him feel at ease, thinking that as long as he doesn't do a good job, he doesn't count as a betrayal of marriage.
That day, as soon as he walked into the cinema with his female classmates, he met his wife's best friend. This is a hornet's nest, the wife who has always been gentle, like a different person, crying loudly.
No matter how he explained, it was useless. In front of his wife, he deleted the contact information of the female classmate and vowed never to meet again.
However, the lives of the two of them will never go back to the past. The incident is like a thorn that lies in the hearts of the two of them.
Some people will say that men have done nothing wrong, not just watching a movie, eating a meal, and making no substantial mistakes, and the wife is too fussy.
In fact, the reaction and behavior of the wife is the normal reaction of most people after encountering a marital crisis.
may still remain pure now, meeting the opposite sex is just chatting and watching movies. But what about later? Has been playing the side ball, who can guarantee not to go out of bounds.
The world of two people,There is no room for a third person. Now that you have made your choice, you have the responsibility to draw a clear line with other people of the opposite sex; since you are married, you should not develop friendships with friends of the opposite sex, let alone be alone with the opposite sex.
Whether we are married or not, we must know how to avoid suspicion in other people's feelings. This is the moral bottom line that an adult should abide by.
02
Rejecting the opposite sex is the most basic respect for marriage
blockquote18 blockquote It is the most basic cultivation of a person.Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang fell in love at first sight in Tsinghua Park. They have spent more than half a century together. They used their wisdom to turn their marriage into a poem.
When Yang Jiang was reading a book, he wrote about the ideal marriage in this way: "I never married before I saw him; I never regretted marrying her for decades after I married her, and I never regretted marrying her. I thought about marrying another woman."
Qian Zhongshu immediately responded to her after hearing it next to her: "Me too." Many fans.
There was a female fan who really wanted to see him,He said humorously: "If you think eating an egg tastes good, then why should you see the hen laying the egg?" The distance has preserved face for the other party.
Wu Qilong and Liu Shishi are 17 years old, but after marriage they have become the enviable "fairy couple". Wu Qilong not only loves his wife in front of others, but also expresses respect for his wife when he is behind.
When participating in a program, the fans were very enthusiastic and rushed to take a photo with him. A female fan just wanted to take his arm, but he quickly refused, and said: "Be careful, I have a wife."
Sanmao said: "Don't be afraid to reject others if your own The reason is legitimate."
When a person asks for help, he is actually ready to be rejected. So, don’t be embarrassed just to refuse. When you get along with the opposite sex, keep your boundaries at all times so that the other party can feel it.
Everyone’s marriage must not only withstand temptation, but also withstand loneliness. Only in this way can we give each other the greatest sense of security and the marriage will be happier.
Appropriately reject the kindness of others and pull the boundaries, so as not to consume others, nor to disappoint oneself and love. A sense of boundary for the opposite sex is the best protection for yourself and the best respect for your lover.
03
Marriage with a sense of boundary,Will be more stable
Two independent individuals, no matter how good the relationship is, they must have a sense of boundary. This is the best preservative for marriage.
Rene Liu and her husband Zhong Xiaojiang have been married for many years. In "I Dare to Be Alone in Your Arms", she described her marital status:
couple will go out together Watch your favorite movies in different theaters. After returning home, they went back to their own bedrooms. They had their own bedroom and study room. Only the kitchen and dining room were shared.
Seeing this, you may find it incredible, and even think that their husband and wife relationship must be bad.
Actually, their husband and wife are very affectionate. Rene Liu asked Zhong Xiaojiang when she got married: "I won't be a full-time wife after marriage. I will continue to sing, write books, act, and marry someone like me. Will you feel bad?"
Zhong Xiaojiang replied: "It is because of your rich and interesting interest that I marry you; if you go home and become a housewife, I will feel too bad."
After marriage, they are independent and respect each other. Life, tolerate each other’s shortcomings. Even though life is independent, they are emotionally attached to each other.
Liu Ruoying said: "Because of you, I feel happy; I also keep myself, so I can feel at ease and freedom."
They are friendly and respectful of each other's relationship. They are both free and bordered. Two people Living in such a space,Will be comfortable.
Marriage is like two eggs in a basket, both have shells. They need to be close to each other and respect each other. There is no need to break yourself at will and become an egg.
No matter how close the two people are, don't cross the border between them casually; don't try to turn each other into your own accessory.
Everyone needs to have their own world, no matter how good the relationship is, if there is no sense of boundary, it will only go farther and farther; the intimate relationship of mutual trust will keep the marriage fresh.
04
The ancients said: "There is a degree in life, and there is a disaster in the past."
To live a life, you must have a degree and a degree of relaxation in life can you gain happiness.
In marriage, the sense of boundary is the sense of security.
A marriage without a sense of "boundary", no matter how much you pay, it will not last.
Therefore, maintaining a sense of boundary with the opposite sex is the best respect for yourself and the responsibility you should bear in marriage. Give yourself and each other a little freedom, and the marriage will become more and more happier.
Two people need not only independent space, but also mutual dependence. In this case, it is better to give the other person a sense of security and personal space, and also give yourself a little freedom and freedom.
Only marriages with a sense of boundary,Only in this way can we get past the "happiness at first sight" and move towards "not getting tired of it for a long time."
.Author: Xueluo Wuchen, writer, emotional consultant. If you encounter any emotional distress, you can send me a private message, and I will analyze it for you and solve it for you.
