The true happiness and joy of life is immersed in intimate family relationships."
Intimate family relationships are the confidence on the road of life; a harmonious family atmosphere is the root of happiness in the elderly.
And all this cannot be separated from communication between family members, the tone when speaking, and the degree of speaking.
In short, it can warm a heart or hurt a person. Open your mouth and you can prosper a home, but You can also destroy it.
In your old age, these three things would rather rot in your own stomach than tell your children, so as not to hurt yourself and your family.
Don’t repeat the grievances of the past.
There is a question on the Internet: What do happy families have in common?
A highly praised answer said: "I don’t hold grudges after the matter, and I don’t hold grudges at home, never settle old accounts, and get along well. "
Let it go. Repeated mentions will definitely hurt the feelings between relatives.
After a long time of resentment, the blessings are getting less and less; when there are more hatred, people's hearts are getting farther and farther away.
In the TV series "In the Name of Family", there is a suffocating story:
Many years ago, when my mother Chen Ting went out to play mahjong, she locked her younger brother and sister at home.
Unexpectedly, due to carelessness, my sister was stuck in her throat when eating walnuts and couldn't breathe.
My brother Ling Xiao wanted to ask for help, but he couldn't open his house. In the end, he could only watch his sister lose her life in front of him.
Since then, there has been no more laughter in this family, and replaced by Chen Ting's endless crying, quarrels and blame.
She could not accept the fact that she lost her daughter, and could not admit that it was her fault that caused the tragedy , and she could not bear such heavy pain.
So, she blamed all her faults on her son, and cried to Ling Xiao every day: "It was you who killed your sister. Why did you let her eat walnuts..."
This resentment caused a huge psychological shadow on the young Ling Xiao, making him fall into it and become taciturn.
As time went by, Chen Ting remarried after divorce and had a new family, but she still didn't want Ling Xiao to leave.
She tried every means to keep her son by her side, but she brought it over if she disagreed. Her resentment continued, and she tortured Ling Xiao repeatedly, causing him to suffer from depression .
As time went by, this family became fragmented, Chen Ting's most Finally became a traitor.
Wang Xiaobo wrote a sentence in "Love You Like Love Life":
When I was young, I felt that there were people everywhere, and other people's affairs were yours. When I was middle-aged, I felt that there was nothing in the world except family.
family is a backer that people cannot live without in their lives.
When people get old, what they fear most is not that they have no money, but that they are isolated.
When Hua is old, their friends are less and less, and their wives will leave him. One day, only children can rely on.
If always Telling old accounts will eventually alienate parents and children and cast a shadow on the family.
After all, no matter how close a relationship is, it cannot withstand repeated sprinkling salt on the other party’s wounds.
Never use your rapid breath to push the people closest to you further and further away, and do not use the knife of words to stab the person you love the most.
In a person’s old age, these three things would rather be rotten in your stomach than tell your children, remember.
Don’t announce your money plan.
As the saying goes, money is the magic mirror of human nature, the ruler of human heart, and the touchstone of emotions.
Money can amplify the darkest part of a person's heart, turning blood and family ties into enemies overnight.
I have heard a real story:
There is a relative in the family. Since his wife passed away, he has been living alone in an old house. The children rarely come home to visit.
In recent years, because of their physical condition getting worse and worse, the elderly are worried that they will get sick one day without care, so they propose to live in their children's home.
However, after learning about the father's request, the three children refused on the grounds that they were too busy with work.
Someone gave advice to the elderly and could tell their children that whoever wanted to take them away would leave their savings.
After the eldest son learned the news on the phone, he went back to his hometown to pick up his father the next day. The old man was very pleased and thought that he could finally live a safe old age.
Unexpectedly, after the eldest son took his father home, he claimed that he needed money to start a business and immediately asked his father to leave some money.
In the following months, he repeatedly said that he urgently needed money and spent all his money not long after.
Even so, he still wanted to grow old, thinking that his father hid his property for him.
In the past few months, my son has never taken care of his old father. He has never said a word of concern or greeting except for asking for money.
The old man felt pain in his heart, but he had nowhere to tell him. He called the other two children many times, but no one answered.
This sad story reminds me of the old saying:
"Money is a great magic wand that can change a person's appearance at will."
People are old, why can't they reveal their money plan and estate plan in front of their children?
Because in the face of money, it is difficult for brothers and sons to put aside their interests and talk about feelings.
I have seen too many such cases: for the sake of the property of my parents, some people have fallen from then on and live by relying on their parents' capital; the two brothers turn against each other for the sake of inheritance.
Being open to money is part of human nature.
Instead of talking about property, it is better to shut up and reduce conflicts.
The only way to treat yourself is to distinguish between money and feelings in the second half of your life.
Don't be too harsh on your child's faults.
In the letter from Fu Lei , Fu Lei taught his son:
"If you reason, don't be arrogant, and if you reason, forgive others."
This is the best way for a family to get along with: don't be too harsh when encountering things, don't be right or wrong in everything.
Don’t blame the poor father. You should be filial than your brother, be hard but irresponsible to your wife, and be angry but not mean. This is the key to the stability of family relationships.
When people reach old age, people often become nagging, tangled in trivial matters, and point fingers at their children's lives.
In the world, Zhou Bingkun and Zhou Fu have had three encounters, which is deeply touching.
The reason for these three quarrels is that in Bingkun's eyes, his father always looks down on him and thinks he is the most unreliable child in the Zhou family, which is very hurting his self-esteem.
Bingkun has done a lot for the Zhou family, hoping to get the recognition of his father.
Zhou felt that Bingkun had not liked to study since he was a child and had poor academic performance. His siblings all went to college, but he delayed his future.
In fact, the father is full of concerns about his youngest son's life, but due to the lack of effective communication between the father and son, there are more and more conflicts.
Once a fierce conflict between father and son, Zhou's father blurted out: "What's your idea? Your younger brother and sister went to college and asked you to take the exam. Can you get the exam?"
's constant criticism hurt Bing Kun's heart, making them farther and farther away.
After seeing off at the train station, the father and son did not contact each other for a long time. Father Zhou didn't even know that his son had moved and bought a new house.
It was not until the father and son reunite that Bin Kun finally let go of his grudges over the years:
"Have you considered my feelings? They were all born by one father and one mother, and they were raised by one father and one mother. I am worthless. Do you know how uncomfortable I feel?
"My biggest wish in my life is to make my parents satisfied with me. If I don't comfort me, I'll sprinkle salt. If you say something, you'll be embarrassed. If it hurts, pick it up. ”
A good word warms up three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June.
Every inadvertent scolding will leave scars in the hearts of children, which will be difficult to heal for a long time.
Family is a place for love, not a place for reasoning.
The best emotions and the gentlest words should be left to the person you love the most.
The best family style is not to blame when encountering problems.
More tolerance, less criticism; more understanding, less abuse, so that family affection lasts for a long time.
An ideal family is neither far away nor falls from the sky. It should be built on one's own strength and the whole family's concerted efforts.
When a person is old, handling the relationship with his children and maintaining feelings between his family is a key element of happiness in his later years.
If so, I don’t know whether to say it, I just thought it more carefully.
There are some things I don’t know whether to do, but they are just hidden in my heart.
