Today, I want to talk about love with you. Young friends, in the sea of love, such a situation often happens: when you are desperate and eager for your lover, the golden arrow of love is delayed; and when you have no intention of pursuing it, the boat of love is unexpected Then drive into the stream of your life. As a result, you are faced with an irrevocable choice.
So, did you fall in love at first sight, rushing to wind up the sails of your soul, and immediately sailing with him (her) on a new voyage of life; or were you stunned, setting off a wave of emotions, and driving the boat away mercilessly?
I hope that young friends will not adopt these two extreme approaches, but the third attitude.
starts from respecting each other’s personality and feelings. It must be both serious and enthusiastic. It is necessary to be responsible to oneself and to be considerate of each other.
should first make it clear that any unmarried youth or married or widowed; men and women have the right to pursue love and confess love to the opposite sex who is unmarried or living alone. This right should be respected by the other party.
Therefore, when the boat of love comes to you, whether you are welcome or unwelcome, you are ready to consider or do not want to consider, whether you like it or not... You should start from respecting the other party and try to avoid simple, Rigid and even mocking, mocking, etc.
Now, let us analyze the following attitudes and practices together:
One is to ignore it. Ignoring this is also very different: some are shy and mysterious because they are new to this problem and don’t know how to handle it, so they don’t dare to ignore it. This situation is more common among young women; some of them disagree or are not prepared to consider it. , Want to refuse by ignoring; some are not unwilling to consider, but undecided, etc.
Saying goodbye to childhood alone, in the youth years, it is inevitable to encounter the life subject of love. When the heartstrings are plucked and strange feelings strike, it is natural to have a mysterious and shy feeling.
At this time, don’t be surprised, don’t blame yourself, don’t take the other's admiration as offense or indecent, nor as rude and vulgar. The correct attitude is not to evade, not to dodge, face it, and take it seriously; after careful consideration, make an appropriate answer.
Usually, due to young and lack of necessary preparation, it is better not to promise easily. As for the disagreement if you are ideologically accurate, it is easier to handle it, just tell the other party clearly. However, the attitude of refusing must be firm, the way of expression must be exquisite, the tone must be tactfully, the speech must be polite, and never intentionally or unintentionally hurt the other's self-esteem.
Even when the other party is endlessly pursuing and entangled, you must be calm and patient, refusing decisively and not rude.
If it is difficult for you to say yes or not for a while, you should also make it clear to the other party, ask the other party to consider it for a while before making a decision, or suggest that the two parties increase contact appropriately so as to understand each other in depth. It is undesirable for one party to ignore it, and make the other party wait anxiously, increase worry, or worry about guessing and panic. One is ridicule. There is a girl like
. When she received a courtship letter from a young man, she first ignored it, and after the other party repeatedly consulted her, she sneered at others, "not weighing her own virtue." , And "published" the boy's courtship letter within the sisters. So some girls also helped to make fun of them, talked and laughed behind their backs, and even made fun of others in front of everyone. That made the young man feel that he was "lost face" and "has no face to see people" and had to mobilize work.
You see, it was originally a small ripple from the boat of love, but due to improper handling, it turned into an embarrassing turbid wave! If we can put ourselves in the position and think for the other person: the bitterness of unrequited love is enough for him, and now he is caught in the predicament of sarcasm and ridicule, how can you let him live in the world? The attitude of
, which is obviously not being kind to others, should not be adopted especially for those courtiers with innocent and warm feelings and decent and simple style. Even a person who is not very serious about individual attitudes and whose courtship motives are not so pure will not help him (or her) face up to his own problems.
In short, someone in a relationship justifies himself that the reason why he adopts such an abnormal and unfriendly attitude is by no means malicious to hurt others, but simply because he wants to "cut the mess with a quick knife", andDispel the other party's "obsessiveness" early. Well, even if you have no motive to hurt others, but you have actually caused the other person's feelings and personality to be harmed undue, then can you do your own way regardless of the consequences?
