The reader wrote:
My wife and I are college classmates and couples. After graduating from college, in order to defend the integrity of love, we stayed in the city of school together to work hard. The following year of work, with the help of both parents, we had our own house in the city of work. After the house was renovated and moved in, we got married. The year after the marriage, our children were born.
After getting married, my wife and I understood something: love alone is not enough in married life, and we also need real money. Because both parents helped us a lot when we got married, even if we lived a poor life, we were embarrassed to continue to let both parents support us, which led to the poor couple and my wife being sad. In this case, I wanted to escape from the siege but did not have the courage to divorce. At this time, in order to purify my ears, I chose to go to the city development business, which is a 5-hour drive from our city. At this point, my wife and I started a life of separation from the two places all year round. When I just left my wife and children, I felt that such a life was quite comfortable. Over time, I would inevitably be attacked by loneliness. About a year ago when I was out working hard, I found a temporary partner for myself, and the result was: I became invisibly indifferent to my wife and children, and of course, my wife also felt the change.
A month ago, I went home to visit my relatives, and my wife asked me very calmly: Are you someone outside of marriage? Logically speaking, I should have lie in front of my wife, but I still truthfully explained the reality that someone was outside of marriage. In the end, my wife calmly filed for a divorce to me. The divorce conditions offered by my wife: 1) The house and children belong to her; 2) She gave me 500,000 yuan in cash at one time (the money my parents took out when they bought the house). After my wife and I reached a divorce consensus, my wife said to me calmly: Our relationship can reach this point today, not caused by a single person, maybe we are both losers in running a marriage; I wish us in the past and I wish you and me in the future.
Recalling all the experiences over the years, I feel that I am quite a failure: the two of them once got together for love, but in the end they chose to separate because of trivial matters in life.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
I often see such jokes on the Internet: There are many tricks in the city, and I want to go back to the countryside. The people who say these words basically grew up in small cities and later stayed in big cities through the exam. In fact, when they graduated from college, they had the choice to go back to the place where they grew up to find jobs, but they felt that they had been studying for more than ten years and had the opportunity to stay in a big city, so why did they have to go back? But after they experienced the baptism of life in big cities, they gradually felt the burden brought to them by life itself. At this time, their lives were actually a little confused: 1) The hometown has quietly become a distant place that they cannot go back to; 2) The city of work is difficult to place their souls. This leads to these people not knowing where to go about their future lives when they are more intertwined.
In order to take root in the city of work, some people feel that after having a house in the city of work, they move their household registration and have their own lovers and children, they can integrate into the city they are living in. In fact, the local people and lack of playmates after work will remind them of the excitement during their growth at some point, and at this time they will inevitably feel a little melancholy in their hearts. However, not everyone is willing to take root in big cities, but when they graduate from college, they will understand very clearly: they will return to the city where they grow up to find a job, or they will not find a decent job, or they will rely on relationships, and they and their parents will not be able to use their strength in this regard. Whether you are actively or passively away from your hometown, you will always feel that you are still a passerby in the city you work in.
Many people living in big cities enjoy the convenience of the city's education, medical care and transportation, but find that their monthly income is a bit unmatched by their living expenses, so many people living in big cities gradually realize one thing: the convenience of the city has little to do with them at times; when they bought a house with more than 100,000 yuan, they can't feel the real sense of superiority in order to buy a house with better lighting (the sun did not come out in the morning, so they went out to work; when the sun sets in the evening, they could only return home). Here I will tell you a joke: If you have a very rich friend who allows you to live in his big villa for free, you only need to bear the annual water and electricity bills and property fees. Do you dare to live in your big villa for your friend? I'm afraid you will be a little unbearable for the annual property fees.
Faced with too many restrictions related to money in life, people have reached a consensus as they get older: in the adult world, 95% of their worries can be solved with money. For this reason, more and more adults regard making money as the most important thing. However, having a heart to make money does not mean having the ability to make money and having good opportunities to make money, which makes some people living in big cities have a very low quality of life because of their ability to make money, which plays a role in the sadness of poor couples. Of course, people's attitude towards life is sometimes related to their own mentality: or there are often people around them who live a more comfortable life, so that after comparing with the other person, they find that their daily life is just a waste of time.
Things to admit: people's quality of life is much more prosperous than the childhood life of their grandparents, but people's happiness index is not high, or because of the popularity of the Internet, people have experienced the real life of many rich people, which leads to people feeling like a waste after roughly understanding the lives of rich people. Contemporary people's obsession with money has reached a point where they have no moral integrity. Give an example: If your lover gives you 500,000 yuan a year and asks you not to worry about his extramarital affairs, what would your attitude be? The comment section says this: If my lover can give me 500,000 yuan a year, even if he and the third person have children, I will be willing to help with the confinement period. Please give a closer look at everyone's attitude towards loving money. Didn't it be discovered that when marriage life is seriously damaged by chemicals, people's attitudes to life have also changed seriously.
In fact, there are many good things to remember about in married life, but those good things related to life become insignificant in the face of the real life of a poor money. In this case: People only use how much money they make to measure the happiness index of marriage and how much their lover loves themselves. The result is: When your lover's ability to make money makes you unsatisfied, you will ridicule, complain, and mutter to your lover, and eventually the relationship between the couple is quarreling. What I want to say is: In fact, most people’s real lives are messy; 80% of people will be tied to the lack of money in their lives. However, after learning about the lives of a very rich man through the Internet, some people will have the illusion that their lives are very sad and others' lives are glamorous. They even think that as long as they are separated from their lover, their next marriage partner must be someone with particularly strong ability to make money.
Postscript:
Do you regret it after divorce? Some people will say that they are unwilling to touch love again in this life; some people will say that they regret it, but they can't speak. In fact, people who feel very tired of marriage will think of the little beauty that was once in the siege in the lonely moments after divorce or when they are sick, so that they inadvertently show a slight sadness, but they do not have the courage to enter the siege again, because these people's thinking about marriage is a bit solidified: without more money, they are not worthy of a happy marriage.
If we can face our ordinary things in life, be content with life, and when examining our lover, we can think of our lover's efforts in marriage, and be less picky and affirm our lover, perhaps the relationship between husband and wife will show a positive state.Remind everyone: Money does play a relatively important role in life, but when you cannot starve, you should be content with life.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
