Writer Fu Lei once said: "Human psychology is often not only not valued, but also considered as a right that deserves. Not only is it not grateful, but it is easy to get resentful."
liters mien fights with revenge, helping him to overcome the difficulties, he will be grateful to you.
However, if you have a flood of sympathy and keep giving him help, he is used to getting your help and help, and get it for nothing, over time, he will take it for granted that you help you, and think that what he gets is not the favor you give him, but that it originally belongs to him. When you no longer help him one day, he will not only not understand, but will instead feel that you have harmed his interests, so he resents you and becomes enemies with you.
I once saw a case where a couple sold buns. When they arrived at the closing point, there were often leftovers of buns. At this time, a homeless man who seemed to be young and had good hands and feet came to beg for him. The couple gave it to him, and it was like this every day, lasting for half a month.
That day, the buns sold very quickly. When the homeless man came, there was no one left. The boss had to apologize to the homeless man and said that there were no buns for him today, hoping that he would understand. However, the homeless man immediately turned his back on the ground and lie on the ground to make trouble, which attracted many people to watch. After he turned around, he pretended to be disabled, and accused the boss of bun shop of bullying the disabled.
Fortunately, the people around who knew the character of the Baozi Shop owner could not bear it anymore. After exposing him, the homeless man left reluctantly.
In fact, the behavior of a homeless man is very consistent with the psychological "Diderot effect", that is, in a relationship, the other party has a psychological phenomenon of "the more you get, the less satisfied", and no matter how much you give, it is difficult to deserve his inflated desire.
"Let me take care of my grandson, yes, but I won't give you a penny anymore. Moreover, the children belong to the two of you, and the task of raising children is also from the two of you. I only work hard to take care of the children, and you will have to pay for the money for the living expenses of the children."
Hearing Aunt Luo's words, the faces of my son and daughter-in-law became extremely ugly, especially for the daughter-in-law. No matter how she did, she never thought that the mother-in-law who always looked easy to talk, had a gentle temper, and was considering her children and grandchildren would have a day of change.
01. Relatives and friends said that when my son and daughter-in-law were dependent on their parents, I still protected them and defended them in every way;
Aunt Luo is 58 years old this year and has retired, with a pension of about 3,000 yuan. Aunt Luo’s wife just retired this year, and her pension is several hundred yuan less than Aunt Luo.
Since getting married, my son and daughter-in-law have cried poorly with Aunt Luo, telling them that life in the city is extremely stressful and cannot be afforded by the power of their young people.
"The monthly mortgage loan is more than 6,000 yuan, which is higher than my daughter-in-law's salary. Both of them are only children and have never suffered from hardships since childhood. Even when they get married, they pursue a high-quality life. Order takeout for lunch and at least 20 yuan at a meal. At night, you either go to the restaurant or buy vegetables and cook them yourself. There are meat and vegetables. A monthly living expense of 3,000 yuan is not enough. In addition, electricity, gas, online fees, broadband fees, etc., as well as the daughter-in-law's online shopping fees, son's tobacco and alcohol money, game money, etc. Their monthly salary is about 13,000 yuan, and there is no money left."
When the grandson was born, the son and his daughter-in-law complained more frequently. Aunt Luo had no choice but to convince her husband. After retirement, she went to find a job with a salary of about 4,000 or 5,000 yuan. The couple currently earns about 10,000 yuan a month. After 2,000 yuan of living expenses, the rest are all used to subsidize their son's family.
"Relatives and friends know, and they disagree. Some say that my son and daughter-in-law are dependent on their parents, some say that we are too stupid and spoil them, so they don't seek to make progress, and some advise us to save more money and leave a way out for ourselves when we get old."
Not only did Aunt Luo not listen to the advice, she also tried to explain to her son and daughter-in-law, saying that young people are under great pressure, and they are only one son, and no matter how much money they earn, it will be his. It will be the same as giving it to them sooner or later.When they get old, they go to their son's house to support their elderly care without saving so much money.
02. Not only do I have to take care of my children, I don’t care about doing housework, but I even complained about changing my wife’s phone;
Since my grandson was born, Aunt Luo, who had already retired, has become even busier. One is busy making money to subsidize his son’s family, and the other becomes a free nanny for his son’s family of three. Not only does he not have money, he also pays for money.
"We live in the suburbs, not too far from my son's house. It's an hour away. My grandson has been here. When my son and his daughter-in-law get off work, they will drive over to see the child and play with the child. When I prepare the meal, I don't clean up the bowls and chopsticks, and leave. I am responsible for coaxing the child to sleep."
When my son and his daughter-in-law are on vacation, they don't even go back to their own house. They live directly at Aunt Luo's house. They don't coax the child or help their parents share housework. One plays games, the other watches videos, and sits waiting for food.
Aunt Luo has to go to her son's house at least twice a week to help them clean, just because her daughter-in-law said they were busy with work and had no time to clean up the house.
"I can't stand it anymore. The relatives are right. They are just dependent on our parents. They spend our money with confidence. I can't spend my own money anymore. Is there such a reason in the world?"
's wife was very arrogant and was very dissatisfied with her son and daughter-in-law. It was because after he paid the salary that time, he spent 3,000 yuan to buy a new phone and replaced the old phone that he had used for two years. Naturally, the money Aunt Luo gave to her daughter-in-law was less.
Learning the purpose of the money, the daughter-in-law actually complained that her father-in-law spent money indiscriminately: "Why didn't you say it before Dad bought the phone? I was about to change this phone, so I could give it to him, so that I could save at least a few thousand yuan."
In fact, the mobile phone in my daughter-in-law was bought on Double Eleven last year, and it cost nearly seven thousand yuan.
03. Subsidize parents two to three thousand a month, and they also want to ask for money from us to buy a car, but there is no door.
Although Aunt Luo has a good temper, she will naturally feel dissatisfied when she meets such a daughter-in-law who is righteous and robs her parents and makes trouble. At first, they wanted to bear it for their grandson's sake, but when they learned about their daughter-in-law's parents' recent movements, they were furious.
Not long ago, the son and his daughter-in-law quarreled, and the two of them had a big fight, and even mentioned the word divorce, which scared Aunt Luo so much that she hurried to fight.
Adhering to the principle that helping the daughter-in-law is more conducive to maintaining marriage, Aunt Luo was about to scold her son, but her son complained: "Okay, mom, since you think I am wrong and she is right, then you should give her 100,000 yuan as she wishes, and let her parents buy a car."
it turned out that the daughter-in-law's parents in their fifties not only stopped working, but started a retirement life, but also often asked her daughter for money. Usually, the daughter-in-law gives her parents at least 2,000 yuan a month, which is said to be alimony. This time it was even more outrageous. The daughter-in-law's father fell in love with a car and called her daughter to ask for money to buy it. The daughter-in-law couldn't take it out, so she asked her husband to find a solution, and the two started arguing.
"We old couple subsidize you 8,000 yuan to raise your children, but your parents want 100,000 yuan to buy a car. Why?" After hearing the mother-in-law's question, the daughter-in-law responded with confidence: "You are not subsidizing me, but subsidizing your grandson. Who asked the child to take your son's surname? It's not easy for my parents to raise me. What's wrong with being a daughter with a little respect?"
The daughter-in-law cried and made a fuss, saying that she couldn't marry someone and ignored her parents. Looking at such a daughter-in-law, Aunt Luo had to admit a fact that it was a fantasy to expect her when she was old.
"I really don't want such a daughter-in-law anymore, but my grandson is still young, and I can't be cruel. Forget it, children and grandchildren have their own blessings. She wants to subsidize her parents. You can, just make money by yourself! From now on, I will not give them money anymore. If you talk nonsense to me, I will not even take care of the children. Let's do it yourself!"
04. When you meet an unfilial daughter-in-law, the problem may occur to your son.
Tu Lei Teacher once said: "All mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems should be thirty boards each, and son should be 40 boards."
In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bullying daughter-in-law, a man fails to protect his wife and fails to deal with his mother, which will make his wife suffer all the grievances and make his parents bully his daughter-in-law unscrupulously.
Similarly, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is unfilial and makes parents-in-law feel extremely troubled, your son is still not capable enough and unfilial. If your son is really filial and knows how to feel sorry for his parents, he will not let his wife do whatever he wants, disrespect his parents, and will not let his wife treat his parents as free nanny and beat up his parents' property.
If a man does not stand on his parents' side, his wife's side, his parents will not have the confidence to bully his daughter-in-law. Unless the parents don't even care about their son's feelings, similarly, if a man does not stand on his wife's side, he clearly tells his wife to respect his parents-in-law, otherwise he will be angry. Unless the woman wants to divorce, he dare not ignore her in-laws.
END.
Topic today: Do you have any good suggestions for Aunt Luo? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
