Love is not marriage. Love is love, and marriage is food, food, food, food, and salt. Love is the love between two people, and marriage is the connection between two families. Marriage is a matter for two families. Jane Austen has a famous saying: It is absurd to only consider family background, but it is stupid not to consider family background.
When children look for partners, they must check the other party’s family background and try to find these three types of families. Filial piety is the foundation of all actions and the beginning of all good things. Thank you to your parents is the most basic conscience. Before talking about marriage, you should check out the person's attitude towards his parents and how he gets along. The attitude towards parents is often a person’s most authentic character.
Ji Xiaolan records such a thing in " Yuewei Caotang Notes ".
Changshu County There is a disobedient son, Xiao Mou, who is erratic and irritable, and often scolds his mother, and his mother endures it with tears.
One day, when he returned home, he insulted his mother when he saw that the rice had not been cooked yet.
Suddenly, thunder rumbling, and lightning kept flashing towards his body.
He was panicked and frightened, so he hurriedly asked his wife to move out of the big water tank to cover him.
The wife said, "I often advise you to be kind to the elderly. She is your biological mother, and you don't listen. Now that the disaster is coming, I'm afraid the big water tank will not work."
Before he finished speaking, a flash of lightning flashed and a thunderbolt sounded. This disobedient son had been killed by lightning.
Filial piety to parents is not only the character of establishing the world, but also the atmosphere of a family.
Parents are the root of a family. If the roots are there, the home is there and blessings are there.
If a family wants to be safe and happy, they must first make filial piety the first family style. has a saying that goes well: "Family affection is alienated, and living in a high house and a rich house is also boring; family members are harmonious, and living in a bamboo fence and thatched hut is full of thought."
No matter how much money a family or a big house is, if there is constant quarrel, you won't feel very happy.
Only when small things are not quarrels can life be warm; only when big things are together can life be successful.
Writer Lin Qingxuan once said that although life was hard when I was a child, my memory about my family was happy.
Lin Qingxuan's mother was originally the eldest lady of a gentry family. After getting married, she was responsible for the family's food, clothing, housing and transportation, and also raised pigs and chickens. Life was very hard.
Although my life is poor, my mother will never lose her temper with her family. When the children make mistakes, the mother never beats and scolds them, but teaches them patiently. Lin Qingxuan, who grew up in such an environment, has developed a patience, peace and optimism.
The old saying goes: "A harmonious family has hundreds of blessings, and blessings will shine on the family and everything will be prosperous."
Family harmony is a blessing for children and a way to prosper the family.
Warm smiles are precious things that cannot be bought for no amount of money.
Family harmony is the most advanced show of wealth.
When it comes to marriage, "matching the same family" is a pedantic word in many people, but now it refers more to "matching three views".
Due to different education, different views on money, and different social circles, the three views of birth will also be different.
Lu Xiaoman and Lu Huiyin both came out of a wealthy family, but Lin Huiyin eventually became a talented woman in the Republic of China, but Lu Xiaoman was discussed by the world because of her bad deeds.
Lu Xiaoman's family emphasizes "social education" and cultivates her daughter to be beautiful and graceful. Through their performance in social occasions, they bring symbols and glory to the family.
, while Lin Huiyin's family was different. His father, , Lin Changmin, , was a unique official at that time, and was a clean official, full of righteousness.
He likes to make friends with literati and scholars at home and practice poetry and ink techniques diligently. Lin Huiyin traveled to Europe with her father at the age of 16, which was also in line with the concept of "reading more books and going further." As the saying goes, "It's not a family, you don't go into the family." To form a family is not just as simple as getting a certificate, but sharing a state of life. If the three views do not match each other, after a long time of getting along, the fewer common topics and more conflicts, and in the end, they often get disgusted with each other and get farther away. Shoes that don’t fit the feet will get worn out if they are worn hard; the dishes are not tasteless, or they are mixed with flavors. If you are not a member of the same place, then don’t force yourself. No matter how much you make do, you will never be able to go together.
Roman Rolland said: "You don't have to force love, you have to be responsible for marriage."
The former focuses on romance, and the latter focuses on reality.
When the passion fades, we enter a dull life of two people having three meals and four seasons, with more small friction and messy things. Only by considering practical issues and implementing them in the food, rice, oil and salt can love land smoothly on marriage and make the connection between the two families more harmonious and harmonious.
