Today is the time to answer questions again, answering 3 questions, about feelings and mentality.
is also welcome to give your suggestions in the comment section after reading it.
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Question 1:
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Little teacher, I have encountered a problem again, my husband Gu family is also responsible, just don't tell me the money he earned, and asked me to excavate with him. I listened to your suggestions before, and communicated with my husband well, and the two of them have become transparent, and agreed to excavate with him.
Although the salary of excavators has increased several times compared to before, during the process, when I need my husband's help, he will be annoyed. In addition, he learns slowly, and sometimes he feels that it is not suitable for women. Every time they speak, they are aggressive and lack encouragement and praise.
When I can do it, my husband is very good and diligent and will buy what I like. When I can't do it, he looks like he is supported by the whole family, and I can't think of me being lazy.
l5
The long-term lack of care has made me burst out of negative energy and threatened him with quit. The two quarreled in various conflicts. Now I want to enter the factory, but the salary is low and difficult to get used to. I want to continue working with him. He has a cold war with me again. There is no care, no words, no steps, and I don’t know what I should do.
Although I am economically transparent now, I find that even if I hold a card, I don’t do things and don’t make money, I still don’t want to withdraw his money. Free and restless, he didn't trust me either, so I said to him: You want to take care of my money, unless you give me your money with confidence, otherwise I don't feel at ease. You can take care of the money.
Then he repeated the previous ones to me. He did not communicate with things, and the money was not transparent. It was just that the two of them passed their own way. I wanted to continue to excavator, but it would be difficult for me to get down if he didn't give me this step.
If the two of them didn't work together, the child would definitely give it away. Going back to his hometown, he wanted to turn me into a person who is diligent and caring for him. I wanted to turn him into a person who is kind to me, respect me, and feel safe in money. Later, he only hurt each other and was so tired. I don’t know what to do. It’s always a cold war.
Answer:
a few days ago I was in the office, why do we persuade each other to get a question every time we answer questions?
Later, I thought that I would not come to consult if there was no problem with my relationship, and those who came to consult had questions. Question, the relationship with problems is naturally more likely to break up.
But I won’t persuade you to divide this.
Although my husband has a lot of shortcomings, it is worth keeping the responsibility of the Gu family, especially for women who are not strong in making money and rely on their husband to support their families.
talk about your confusion.
First of all, of course, the excavator must be turned on. If your husband doesn’t give you a step, you will give it to yourself. The skills you learn are yours, the money you earn is also yours, and the salary is higher than that of ordinary jobs. Where can I find such good things? Only when you can make money can you be confident and not afraid of changes in marriage.
even if you do it with your husband for the time being and need his help, but once you learn, you can do it without following him. He realizes that you may do it for others at any time, and he will keep you like retaining outstanding employees.
Don’t be angry about things like this. If you want to be angry, it will also threaten him: I will do it for others, and I won’t do it for you!
Don’t emphasize in your heart that this job is not suitable for women. For you, No job can earn more money than an excavator. As long as you can bear it, it is suitable. In every industry that everyone thinks is not suitable for women, there are women who do well.
What's more, if you stay, the child does not have to be a left-behind child. You can also take care of your husband's money, and couples don't have to be in another place. With so many benefits, you can't ignore anything.
As for asking your husband to help him, he will get angry, and he will be angry, didn't he help? Just help. If you find a stranger to be a master, others may not help you, and the words will be even more ugly.
At work, you treat him as your master, don’t treat him as your husband, and don’t ask him with your husband’s standards, so that you won’t feel lost or uncomfortable.
He doesn’t know how to care for others. You have to learn to care for yourself, and you can also tell him directly what you want. You are a person with a lot of emotional needs, but he is a straight man, so don’t expect him to be self-aware, you can take the lead. For example, on holidays, you can suggest going out for dinner, and you can ask him to buy flowers for you.
In this marriage, you must have a strong mentality, not a little woman mentality, and wait for the other party to take the initiative to say and do everything.
And you should pay attention to your communication methods, do not communicate violently, do not just stand from your own perspective, try to be calm, stand from the perspective of being good to the whole family and husband, speak with reasonable ground, and make him feel that you are thinking about him and always be on the same mind as him. Learn to praise him appropriately, just like you want him to praise you.
You have requirements. If your husband meets it, you will be very happy and willing to listen to him. The same goes for the other way. He also has requirements for his wife. If you make him feel satisfied, he will listen to you in everything.
Before you talked carefully, he gave you the money. Now it is because you don’t communicate well. He thinks you are not the same as him, so he doesn’t want you to take care of the money.
pretending to be the same as him, it is not difficult to do, but it can get a lot of benefits. Why do every word hurt people and make him feel that you are not the same as him?
Don’t think about why men don’t pretend to care about you and love you. You should know that whoever takes the initiative has control. If you take the initiative, you will not be led by him, but by his nose.
Learn to be the controller of marriage, rather than the weak who are waiting for men to provide emotional value.
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Question 2:
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I got married before marriage. Now I am not only tolerant but tolerant every day, and I am not happy every day, but my husband is also here. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary at work. He would do what he should do. He would give the money he should give.
But I had no income to take care of my children, and the children couldn't leave even if I was young. I gave birth to too many children. I was wrong at the beginning, and now I can't look back. I don't know what to do.
Answer: Since I can't look back, I should take care of my children and make myself happy. Anyway, it's all day. It's better to be better Living a day happily can keep you healthy and long-lasting. Only after living for a long time can you turn the tables.
As for the things you endure, if it is a specific thing that can be solved, it will be solved, even if there is a fight. If it cannot be solved, such as the family conditions are limited, no one can help take care of the child, and it cannot be solved in a while, then accept it.
There are always imperfections in life, and no road is truly happy and worry-free. When I first chose other roads, I didn’t have the same ones. Better to live.
then it figured out and it felt comfortable.
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Question 3:
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Can the teacher have time to write how to improve his psychological quality?
I am chatting with others, chatting on WeChat, and chatting very well without panic. If you talk in person, you will be very panicked. Many times, you either don’t understand the other person’s meaning or you don’t express your own words.
is to feel that I am always suppressed by other people's momentum.
Answer: chats very well on WeChat, and I feel nervous as soon as I get offline. This is not your own problem, it is most people's problem.
I am so imposing in my lectures online and I am not afraid of anything. Can you imagine that I will be nervous and panic when I teach offline?
But I know, it's no big deal, just practice a few more times.
If you need it, just look for opportunities to practice. If you don’t need it, it doesn’t matter.
If you know your own problems, then you can correct them in a targeted manner.
When talking to someone, you can remind yourself in your heart not to rush to speak, listen to the other party more, and then understand the other party’s true intentions before talking.
remind yourself again and again, and you will get better and better.
At the same time, speak slowly when speaking, leaving yourself enough time to think, so that the words will not be inconsistent.
Don’t be afraid that others will not be patient when they are slow. Others will be patient when they want to listen. If they don’t want to listen, there is no need to tell them.
When you slow down, don’t rush to speak, or speak quickly, you will find that no matter how many people you are facing, you can make a big move.
Moreover, communication is not about comparing anyone's momentum, just be able to express it clearly.
pictures are from the Internet
