What will happen to the end when there is no love in marriage?
When many people face this problem, their first reaction may be: How can there be no love in marriage?
Yes, we have heard too many sentences like this in love novels: Love is the whole of marriage; marriage without love has no meaning, etc.
Realistic marriage is always much more complicated than love novels.
What happened to those marriages that are no longer measured by love? Perhaps everyone's story has different answers.
Narrator: Xiaoxiao, 35 years old employee, married age 5 years
My family is in an average family and I read ordinary books. After graduation, I found a job in the library and couldn't make much money.
I had a good relationship with my boyfriend at that time and agreed to buy a house together to get married and have children. But his job is average, and our income in second-tier cities is only enough for daily expenses, so buying a house is a dream.
Later, I finally changed my job with my relationship and went to a good big company to be a clerk. Although it was not an important position, it was considered a world-class experience.
Everyone says that the environment has a great impact on people. Every day I see in the company, men and women with wealth and status, and I can't help but feel unbalanced.
I started to dislike my boyfriend, thinking that he was too ordinary , looked for trouble every day and quarreled with him. At the end of the arguing, he said anything bad. He said I was greedy for vain, and I said he couldn't support the mud and couldn't turn back, so he broke up.
After that, I talked about it several times, and I had a high vision and it was not suitable for anyone.
Later, the company’s client introduced me to my current husband. He is a local, and his appearance is not as good as his ex-boyfriend, but his family is in good condition. I was over 30 years old at that time, and all my classmates and colleagues were married. He was the best choice I could meet at that time, so we got married and had a child soon.
To be honest, we don’t have much emotional foundation, we chose him because of reality.
We are out of place in our living habits. I found that he has many problems, he has no motivation, does not take care of children, and is still a mother's baby. If he gets rid of his good family background, he is just a man who is so ordinary that he can't be more ordinary.
I began to miss my ex-boyfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that the man in front of me was useless. Just like when I was looking for trouble and quarreling with my boyfriend, I started to quarrel with my husband, my mother-in-law, and I was separated.
You said, is it a person like me who wants bread and love who will not be happy to marry anyone?
Narrator: Ah G, 39 years old, started his own business, married 11 years,
According to a secular perspective, my husband and I are not a perfect match.
I am the only child in the family. I have been beautiful since I was a child, but I don’t study well and have a good job. In the marriage and love market, it is probably the kind of vase that people say, which is not useful.
My husband is just the opposite of me. He looks mediocre and has a heavy family burden. He has been studying in big cities since he was a child. He has been a top student all the way and has chosen one in a million jobs.
Our marriage looks more like the "make up" after measuring the conditions . It is true. I thought it was more suitable for me at that time and I was chasing him.
What others will say about me, I don’t care, but I know that people are chosen by themselves and life is lived by themselves.
I appreciate my husband's talent. He let me see how hard-working people live. Marriage brought me into a completely different life trajectory from before. I reflected on my past life and felt that I was too comfortable and lazy before. Maybe I could try a different way of living.
That year, my husband's company started to do e-commerce business. It was also a coincidence that I was taken to save the live broadcast for them and I first came into contact with e-commerce live broadcast.
I have a good image and a good response on the spot. It was the first time I found that I still had such talent. My husband looked at me in front of the camera and looked surprised.
Because of that incident, I started to get involved in e-commerce live broadcasts in my spare time. A year later, my husband also supported me very much and took out my deposit and asked me to register a small company with my friend.
was difficult at the beginning, and my husband gave me a lot of help. Now the business is slowly getting on track. I occasionally have business dealings with his company, so we are also comrades who work together.
My daughter is three years old this year. I am very content and very happy.
To be honest, I have never felt that kind of heartbeat about my husband, but this does not prevent us from living a good life now.
What kind of marriage is the perfect match? This kind of contentment and happiness should be it.
Narrator: Zhu Zhu, 39 years old, private enterprise, married 13 years,
Everyone says that marriage has a seven-year itch, and it seems to be quite accurate.
My marriage was in the seventh year when there was a problem.
My husband and I are in a free relationship and have a good relationship. We are a comrade-in-arms couple. We work in the same industry, have common topics, and sometimes there are business dealings. Now we have saved up our home business together.
Due to physical reasons, it is not easy for me to get pregnant. After giving birth to my daughter, I devoted all my energy to the child. I lost my ambition at work and lost my patience with him.
I didn’t have the heart to talk to him about work and business. Gradually, the only topics between the two of them were the children, and later, even the children talked less.
I didn’t realize his changes, or I didn’t take his changes to heart at that time.
When my daughter was four years old, I got sick and was quite serious. I gave critical illness notice . He left work, accompanied me in the hospital during the day, and went home to take care of my daughter at night. He has been taking care of me for several months. To be honest, I was very moved.
Shortly after I recovered, I accidentally saw a chat record of him with a strange woman on his phone. They had a brief ambiguous relationship, and then he proposed to break up.
between the lines is his regret and entanglement, his worries about me when he was sick, and his debt to his family. I didn't sleep all night, and I always thought our marriage was as solid as a rock, and I don't know when it started to crack a big crack.
In the end, I chose to show off with him. I wanted to know where our problem lies. Even if it is about to end, it must end clearly. We talked openly and said everything we had to do.
In the end, we both chose to continue the marriage. It was not an easy decision, but I still made up my mind.
This year, my daughter is in the third grade. He is trying hard to be a qualified father to accompany me. I treat life, marriage and myself again with a more mature attitude.
Maybe many people don’t understand what I do. I also think I am a woman who doesn’t rub the sand in my eyes, and think how I will divorce resolutely when I encounter such a thing.
I really encountered this kind of thing. I found that marriage is really too complicated. Our links are intricate and endless. The love part in is not the most important part.
Do you ask me if I still love him?
is hard to say, it should be love, but it is not pure love between men and women. After more than ten years of marriage, we may "love has become family affection" as people say, but family affection in marriage is "family affection" that blends with love. There are more than ten years of time together, both black and white, either this or that.
Maybe a lucky couple will never encounter a reef in their entire lives. Maybe someone will meet it like us. If they are willing to sit on a boat, they can pass through that undercurrent.
After more than ten years of marriage, our identities have changed. We are no longer business partners, but in this family, we are always the closest "partners".
Marriage is a topic that is too huge. We have heard so many stories, but we cannot find a standard answer.
In love, people are willing to pursue the "upper limit", while marriage requires the bottom line.
What is the bottom line of your marriage?
In a class of a women's training class, someone once asked such a question.
Everyone's answer is different -
- will not divorce;
- can have mistresses, but cannot raise mistresses;
- even if divorced, you must be responsible for your ex-wife and children.
and so on.
The answers that don’t sound “perfect” make people see the current situation of marriage for many people, that is, put the bottom line of marriage on their partners, even when it is about to end.
But the bottom line of marriage is not what the other party does or what they don’t do, but what you really want. Love is the prerequisite for entering marriage. Marriage carries love, but love is not the bottom line of marriage.
When a marriage becomes "boring", people will say: love becomes family affection, and lover becomes relative.
Family affection in marriage is an emotion based on love. It is like family affection, not just family affection, it contains trust, tacit understanding, tolerance, and understanding. It is a kind of emotion that is not related to blood but is integrated into each other's body and mind. From passion to dullness, it is the beginning of true love.
There are countless possibilities for love: love at first sight, physical desires, romantic fantasies, but it will eventually be integrated into the dullness of marriage day after day.
Love to be a relative, the most dull and eternal.
Marriage is like a river, it flows non-stop, and every day changes.
It may start from the vast rushing, turning into a long flow of water, or it may become a deep rush from calm. Therefore, the love at the beginning may end bitterly, and the plainness at the beginning may produce sweet and full fruits. It cannot be summarized by just a word "love".
Love is a relative who has no blood relationship but has been chosen by us for the rest of our lives. Good couples are the best partners in close relationships. They don’t talk about love, because their love is ordinary, but they are irreplaceable.
