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1. Make her happy is more important than making you happy. To put it bluntly, it is "value transmission", will is a kind of thing, emotion is a kind. For example: When talking about a project, you need to tell the other party clearly about your plan, which is "transmitting will". For example: comforting a person, you need to make your happy emotions feel by the other person, which is "emotion transmission". For example: when facing relatives and friends and lovers, you always complain, accuse, and deny them habitually. This is to express "will" through "transmitting emotions". That is: I hate you! To put it bluntly, it is still "transmitting value"! That is: For me, I don’t want to retain this relationship. Speaking of this, the words are clear! When chatting with girls, we must express our "will" and "emotions" clearly and positively. For example: complaining, denying, and accusing, this is a negative expression. To be simpler: In order to see you, the girl put on two hours of makeup and carefully selected a lot of clothes for her. At the first time you met, you said: You are fat again and feel that your wrinkles are obvious. This set of clothes is very suitable for you (or not for you). This is "can't speak"! At this time, it doesn’t matter what you want to express, because from her perspective: you just don’t like her person! (Choose to agree: In this case, she will only hear the one that is not conducive to her and develop bad emotions)
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Another example: a girl is in a low mood and she will cry to you.
You laughed and said: Why is that big deal? You are too fragile inside.
This is equivalent to saying: You are sad because you deserve it!
Also, for example: a girl happily bought you a gift, and she went through a lot of hardships and traveled across the ocean, and finally delivered it to you.
Didn’t you read it or not, and a sentence popped up: You are really idle. This is "not knowing how to express"!
Maybe it was to hide her inner shyness, so she used to show her external openness to the other party; maybe she really felt that there was no need for this, so she casually said something that seemed irrelevant and really hurt her deeply.
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There are many cases. You are laughing out loud when you look at it, and even said casually: "Isn't this XX? Who would say that." Friends, this is the key to the problem!
Many times, we will subconsciously deny and reject it. This is the "pride" of human nature at its role!
More often, we did not find that our understatement was actually causing serious harm to others. The examples listed above in
don’t think they are just individual examples! In fact, we are in this situation every day, but many people don’t notice it.
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2. It is more important to make her confused than to make her happy
often hear friends complain: I really don’t know what to say. I have known each other for so long, and it seems that I have finished saying everything I should say.
First of all, this proves that your "attitude" towards her is not positive enough.
Secondly, it means that you are "not caring enough" to her, so you are too lazy to even look for topics.
The reason for the above two situations may be that your life planning is too intensive and you don’t have enough time; or it may be the literal meaning: not active enough, not caring enough, not loving enough.
Finally, maybe it is because you are really a little "stupid" or "arrogant": you don't know how to say something, don't want to say something, and don't bother to say something.
's inner thought is: she doesn't understand it even if she says it, she doesn't listen if she understands it, and she will forget it even if she hears it.It’s better not to say it if you waste your time!
To put it bluntly: Is it still "not loving enough"
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In fact, let the topic continue to be full of people, but in fact we can make the other party constantly have doubts!
For example: When you get home from get off work, "I'm so laughing to death. Something interesting happened to the company today";
For example: When doing things, "I suddenly thought of something", "You said, is there a possibility?"
When you open a head and don't finish your words, she will definitely ask a "why"? It is highly likely that this will happen, if she wants to know what will happen next!
Why would she want to know? Because every time your addition is fun!
For example: The interesting things happening in the company are really interesting; the thoughts you suddenly pop up really increase your knowledge; the suggestions you give her are really practical. And these things require you to live, discover and think carefully!
You must first be a "interesting" person so that you can get the other person interested!
More specific: Have a meal together today, she ordered a cola chicken wings . You said: Is there a possibility that there is no coke in the wings of Coke? Her answer is nothing more than "has" or "no", but your answers are diverse! 1. You can say: Actually, brown sugar can replace Coke, but in the end there is basically no coke flavor, only sweetness. And tell her how to use brown sugar to make cola chicken wings. You can even leave a suspense: If you have the chance, I will make you Coke chicken wings. There is Coke! Guaranteed to be better than this one. 2. You can say: It should be there, Coke is not too expensive, so you won’t be reluctant to let go. And tell her interesting stories about Coke, such as: Coke's company first suffered losses for many years, but later made a comeback, and is now well-known worldwide. wait! 3. You can also say: Speaking of Coke, I remembered some things. My family used to be poor and couldn't afford to drink Coke... Look, there is only one Coke chicken wings. Here are three different expressions. How could there be no topic? You can talk from the Coke itself, the chicken wings, and even the plates that hold this dish. What to talk about? Talk about development, history, events, production, taste, fantasy, and future. And extend the development, history, and events of other things from these things, and then extend them, and continue to extend them. Infinite! As long as your expression is content and interesting, it can arouse her strong interest, she will like to ask "why" and wait for you to answer. She will even take the initiative to find topics to chat with you. After a while, the relationship naturally became closer. "Interesting is the basis of attraction; worship is the basis of love"!
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3. It is more important to make her look forward to it than to make her confused
The above said: If you have the chance, I will make one for you to eat, and it is guaranteed to be better than this one. This is a kind of "selling hope"! That is: make her expectant.
For example: on every festival, you will give her carefully prepared gifts. Once or twice, three or five times, she will definitely be full of expectations for you on the festival.
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can be called "expectation", otherwise it will become " without trust in "! This needs to be paid attention to.
. I won’t talk about more cases, and finally I will solve my doubts from friends!
Seeing this, I believe there will be friends who "sneer": I am not you, I don't have the knowledge of you, I am not as many women as you, I am not as "slack" as you, and I have accumulated so much experience. How could I have so many routines like you?
After the instinctive "rejection" in my heart, I even wanted to scold me a few words.Friend, this is normal, I understand your anger!
But as an adult, you should know: it doesn’t matter what kind of person you are, it doesn’t matter what kind of person you want to be; it doesn’t matter what you want to do, it’s important whether you are doing it!
If you have not started yet, you will lose to your own fear and habitually "reject" based on your instinctive will. Then, even if the gods descend to earth, they will not be able to change you!
If a person wants to change, the most important thing is that he first accepts in his heart that he can change. "Difficult" is not a problem, "fear of difficulty" is the problem!
