Getting married was originally a festive thing.
Since ancient times, men and women have to marry each other, and only after they have completed this process can they become husband and wife.
In today's era, the marriage program has been relatively weakened, but the sayings of dowry and dowry have been preserved. When most people get married, they pay attention to these old customs within a reasonable range.
There are also some places. In recent years, the cost of marriage has increased, especially the amount of betrothal gifts has increased year by year, which has invisibly increased the burden on the man to marry.
After all, in the era of high housing prices, the man prepares a wedding house, ranging from hundreds of thousands to millions, which is not something that anyone can easily bear.
However, some families ignore these things and follow the trend and raise the bride price, so that young people face severe tests before they enter the marriage.
Zhang Mei and Li Feng were met by others. After meeting the two young people several times, they felt that they were in similar temperaments and developed a romantic relationship. More than a year later, I decided to get married and start a family.
When the two families talked about their marriage face to face, Zhang Mei's parents asked for a 300,000 yuan gift. This is already a relatively high specification in their local area, and Zhang Mei obviously did not expect it.
She secretly pulled the corner of her mother's clothes but was ignored. The reason for dissuading her parents was because Li Feng told her that the 120 square meter wedding house had been prepared at her home and it was well decorated.
Such a large house in the local area is about 700,000 yuan, and the decoration costs 200,000 yuan. For Li Feng's parents, the working-class parents have already emptied it, but fortunately there is only one child at home.
However, Zhang Mei's parents said, "The house they bought does not have your name, and it has nothing to do with you. The money is for you to use."
After several bargaining, the two families finally determined the bride price of 200,000 yuan. Although Zhang Mei felt sorry, Li Feng said, "It's just a formality. Don't mind, parents are also doing it for your own good."
Seeing that Li Feng was reasonable and his in-laws didn't say much, Zhang Mei was very moved. Next was about preparing for marriage, and I was in a hurry for a while.
However, just before the wedding, after Li Feng's family handed the money to Zhang Mei's account, her parents asked her to hand over the money to them for management, and said that her younger brother was still in college and would spend a lot of money at home in the future.
Zhang Mei was stunned for a moment. The parents’ statements were not like this before, and after the amount of the dowry was reduced to 200,000, the parents also clearly stated that the money was all their daughters, so they would no longer be dowry.
The situation in the family is not that bad, but her parents have pampered her younger brother since she was a child, and Zhang Mei can understand it. It would be fine if she doesn't give a dowry, but she didn't expect that her parents would actually make a dowry now.
Zhang Mei insisted on not giving the bride gift to her parents. She said that this was all agreed in front of her parents-in-law and Li Feng. She had no dowry, and if she gave the bride gift to her parents, her parents-in-law would inevitably look down on her.
But her parents were very angry and said, "My daughter is in vain." They thought that marrying a daughter would give her some wealth for her son, but they didn't expect that her daughter was a "obscene wolf".
Finally, Zhang Mei got married with a dowry. She believes that she will have to live her life after getting married, and she is not honest enough at the beginning. So how can she get along with her in-laws in the future, and how will Li Feng treat herself?
Zhang Mei advised her parents many times and promised that as her daughter, she also had the obligation to support them as her daughter.
But the parents never regretted her and said that other people can make money by marrying their daughters. They raise such a big girl without any benefit, and they lose a lot.
Some people say that Zhang Mei should give the bride gift to her parents. After all, her parents' family is her own support. If she has conflicts with her in-laws in the future, she can still have people who support herself and live in her parents' family with confidence.
Some people say that Zhang Mei can pay part of the bride gift to her parents and leave part of her, so that her parents have nothing to say.
Some people also say that you cannot spoil your parents, and you must not be a demon of helping your brother. This is not good for marriage and it also gives people a verbal talk.
There are many different opinions, and from their respective standpoints, it seems that there is a little reason.
But many people have forgotten, what does the bride price mean?
I saw a very positive saying on the Internet: Borrowing gifts and dowry are two families that help a new family, not one family to help another family to help the poverty alleviation.
really feels very good. In fact, the real purpose of betrothal gifts and dowry is to help young couples embark on a new stage of their lives.
In the old days, wealthy families might have given a lot of dowry, but the woman will inevitably get the dowry when she gets married. Only after the woman marrys into the man's family will she not be looked down upon and will have something to rely on.
Nowadays, men and women have long achieved equality. In theory, the purpose of betrothal gifts and dowry should also be to help young people get married, but many people can't figure it out. On the one hand, they shout that men and women are the same, but on the other hand, they hope that they can only get a betrothal gift and no dowry.
Often the woman’s parents have an old idea, that is, they think that their daughter has married and will be from her husband’s family from now on. I raised her so big, and it cost a lot, but I can't count on her when I get old, so I earn some money when I get married.
But in fact, after the daughter gets married, just like her son, she still bears the responsibility and obligation to support her parents.
If parents really care about their daughter, they should not be too harsh on the issue of dowry, and they should not deduct their daughter's dowry, but give the money to their daughter to manage their lives well.
You should know that only when the young couple lives well can their future daughters work hard on the issue of their parents' pension. Otherwise, if you have a difficult time, how can you provide your parents with a better life in their later years?
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