She was exhausted mentally and physically. In the past 7 years, she had been domestically abused more than 1,000 times by her husband, an associate professor. She just wanted to escape from the sea of misery.
In the prosperous city of Nanning, Guangxi, it is hard for people to believe that a full-time wife who works hard at home and raises children will be looked down upon. The husband of a gentle and elegant associate professor has been a domestic abuser for 7 years.
It’s not that Tang Ping, who has good looks and good looks, doesn’t work hard. After graduating from university, she married associate professor Li Fei (pseudonym) and became a full-time wife. She gave birth to a son and a daughter for him. She was busy every day and devoted herself to being a good wife and mother; Closer to home, she was admitted to a graduate degree at a well-known university in Guangxi. Despite his unremitting efforts, however, he did not get his love. Instead, he got beaten and scolded, and domestic violence became the norm in daily life.
A frail woman with two young children has lived with her husband’s domestic violence. For 7 years, she didn’t even have the courage to divorce. Isn’t this kind of mentally and physically exhausted life just like years?
A tall man always beats his weak wife. What kind of knowledgeable associate professor is he?
Is Tang Ping, a full-time wife, not doing enough?
Young and beautiful Tang Ping was originally lucky to have found a well-educated and sensible husband, but she never expected that she would fall into a nightmare marriage trap after getting married.
When Tang Ping was a senior in a well-known university in Guangxi, she met Li Fei, a teacher at the same school. Li Fei pursued her relentlessly. She also fell in love with this associate professor who was 12 years older than her. She was attracted by his false appearance of being knowledgeable and sensible. Confused. Tang Ping, a female college student from the countryside, had a simple idea. She thought that she had found a knowledgeable and well-paid husband who could live in the "provincial capital" and that she would have peace of mind in her future life. She was not interested in Li Fei's status as a "divorced man" I didn't care, and I didn't ask why.
In October 2014, just four months after graduating from college, Tang Ping became pregnant. Li Fei was ecstatic and happily got married to Tang Ping, who was 12 years younger than him.
Tang Ping was pregnant, and at Li Fei's request, she quit her job, started to have a baby, and could be her full-time wife at home.
When his daughter was half a year old, Li Fei's long-hidden bad temper suddenly erupted like an extinct volcano. He unleashed a Tyson-style iron fist on the weak Tang Ping. It wasn't a boxing match. A gentle teacher took action against his wife. The reason why
was beaten is very simple. It was not that Tang Ping made a mistake. At that time, his half-year-old daughter was crying, which affected Li Fei's rest. He felt upset and began to abuse Tang Ping endlessly.
Li Fei insulted him for an hour and a half, and the child cried even more after being frightened. Tang Ping kept apologizing to calm Li Hui's anger, but Li Fei insulted her even more.
Tang Ping felt that she was about to collapse, so she hugged her child and went out to calm down. She didn't expect that after returning home, Li Hui was so angry that he slapped her in the face, making her eyes dazzle.
This was her first domestic violence incident against Li Fei. In line with the idea that "family scandals should not be publicized", she endured it silently. After all, she had to live with her husband, and she did not want to make the matter a scandal in the city.
"I know it's wrong for him to hit people, but I still want to reform him and give the children a complete home." In the past seven years, Tang Ping always said this to herself every time she suffered violence from her husband.
In May of this year, she published a 16,000-word complaint on a social platform and wrote: "I suffered verbal and physical violence from Li Hui no less than 1,000 times, including many cases of obvious bleeding and bruises. Less than 20 times. "In the seven years since she was first domestically assaulted by Li Fei, Tang Ping has lost count of how many times she was beaten. She was poked in the eyeballs with fingers, violently pushed down, and was even beaten on the face." "Disfigured" and required four stitches, and verbal violence filled Tang Ping's life every day.
Is Tang Ping, who is even worse than a nanny, willing to endure it silently after being severely domestically abused by Li Hui? In fact, it wasn't that Tang Ping didn't want to fight or get divorced, and it wasn't that she had to continue living in domestic violence with Li Hui, but it was caused by her inability to be financially independent.
Since marrying Li Fei, she has been a full-time housewife like a nanny without any source of income. Li Fei controls all household expenses. Li Hui will give her 1,600 yuan for living expenses every month. These living expenses include all household expenses, and Li Hui Dundun requires that there must be meat and seafood on the table, while Tang Ping needs to plan carefully for a month to buy a T-shirt priced at 9 yuan with free shipping.
The most difficult thing for Tang Ping was that when her parents and grandma fell ill, not only was she unable to provide any financial support, she couldn't even pay for the ticket home. If she didn't want to tell her parents about this situation, she could only make up excuses. to visit relatives.
University associate professors belong to a high-income social group, but Tang Ping, the professor's wife who looks very glamorous, has such a difficult life. She is not even as good as a nanny who is respected by her employer. Why doesn't Li Fei want his wife to dress more nicely? Can he only let his wife wear a cheap T-shirt at home to serve him?
Maybe she grew up in the countryside. Tang Ping is a woman with strong awareness of traditional Chinese marriage. In her opinion, since she is a mother of two children, her family and her husband should be put first, and she should take care of her husband and raise her children. It is a woman's family responsibility. "Every time I wonder if I haven't done well enough, if I'm not perfect enough, I will keep looking for reasons in myself. I know it's wrong for him to hit people, but I still want to reform him."
Reformation can only be changed. There was a brief period of family peace, and then Li Fei continued to abuse and beat him. She did not want to submit to the situation, and she once resisted Li Fei's domestic violence. As a result, she was "beaten even worse" by the tall and tall Li Fei, and her body and face were covered with bruises and scars.
couldn't resist, so she wanted to gain Li Fei's respect by improving her abilities. While taking care of her children and family, she conducted self-study. She picked up the professional knowledge she had gained in college and studied animation and illustration. Her works have also been published in central-level media. Despite this, Li Fei still looked down upon her.
Tang Ping is not willing to be a housewife who is not respected by her husband. She wants to gain his respect by working hard to improve herself and let her husband see her own value. After a year of hard work, Tang Ping successfully passed the postgraduate entrance examination of and in Guangxi University where Li Fei taught.
His wife was able to obtain a graduate degree while raising two young children. Li Fei did not give her encouragement and support, but was very angry. In his opinion, if Tang Ping went to graduate school, she would not be able to take good care of her family. Taking care of the child meant getting out of his control, so he intensified the domestic violence against her and even insulted her in front of his students, making her feel ashamed.
It was difficult to live a life trapped in the trap of domestic violence. Tang Ping cautiously tried to negotiate a divorce with Li Hui, but Li Fei asked her to leave the house and give up custody of her children.
Not only that, Li Fei also asked Tang Ping, who had no income, to pay child support every month, and also claimed that it was Tang Ping who caused the marriage to break up in order to preserve his reputation. Wanting to negotiate a divorce, Li Fei's unreasonable difficulties and harsh conditions made it difficult for Tang Ping to cross the gap set by Li Fei.
What followed was Li Fei’s retaliatory domestic violence.
On the morning of April 6, 2021, after Tang Ping sent her daughter to kindergarten, she bought groceries and took her son home, while Li Fei was still sleeping in bed.
She settled her son and sat in the living room to review English. I don't know why, maybe the sound made by his son playing nearby affected Li Fei's dream. Li Fei suddenly burst out of the bedroom door, first pointed at Tang Ping and yelled, and then beat her violently.
Tang Ping squatted on the ground silently, covering her head with her hands tightly, and did not talk back or resist, thinking that if she tolerated it for a while, Li Fei would calm down. The situation did not calm down as quickly as she thought. After Li Fei beat Tang Ping violently, he turned his anger to his young son, who was scared and crying by the side, and cursed endlessly.
Seeing her son trembling with fear, Tang Ping could no longer bear her husband's unprovoked domestic violence. While her husband was in the bathroom, she quickly went back to the house to get her ID card and other important documents, and escaped from the home where her husband had caused her countless domestic violence injuries.
She found the leader of the college where she was a graduate student. With the help of the college leader, she reported the case and had her injuries examined. With the encouragement of the police, she submitted evidence of domestic violence to the Xixiangtang District People's Court of Nanning City. He applied for a personal safety protection order and . On April 19, the Xixiangtang People's Court issued a personal safety protection order to Tang Ping.
Li Fei’s domestic violence behavior was not formed overnight, but it is a bad habit that does not change. In 2021, Tang Ping accidentally discovered a court civil ruling while doing housework. The ruling stated: Li Hui is prohibited from violently threatening and beating Zhang Hui (Li Fei’s ex-wife). If this prohibition is violated, the court will follow relevant legal provisions. , shall be fined and detained depending on the seriousness of the case; if it constitutes a crime, criminal liability shall be investigated in accordance with the law.
Li Fei did not stop the domestic violence because of the court ruling, so Zhang Hui resorted to legal action. On November 19, 2013, the court ruled that Zhang Hui and Li Fei divorced, and the child was raised by Li Hui.
Tang Ping, who was still a senior in college at the time, had little experience. How could she know that she had fallen in love with a wolf? If a sheep enters the wolf's mouth, it will be difficult to save it.
According to media reports, an investigation by the university where Li Fei worked found that he had indeed abused his wife, and made a decision to suspend him on April 1 this year.
Li Fei showed no signs of remorse. On May 31, Li Fei said: Tang Ping's remarks were untrue and had caused serious damage to his reputation and violated his right to reputation. Tang Ping will be prosecuted for insult, , and defamation. If he does not stop the infringement in time and publicly apologize, he will file a lawsuit in court regarding , cyber violence, and defamation infringement.
Since Li Fei does not admit the fact that he domestically abused his wife Tang Ping, then isn’t the court verdict on his domestically violent ex-wife Zhang Hui an ironclad case?
is now preparing to file a second domestic violence lawsuit against Li Hui to fight for his own interests and custody of his two children. Since May 2021, when her son was taken away by Li Fei, she has never seen him again.
Although Tang Ping and Li Fei have not divorced yet and are going through the legal process, Tang Ping has started a new life and is no longer struggling in the trap of domestic violence.
Not long ago, Tang Ping participated in a roundtable forum in Nanning with the theme "How do women protect themselves in the face of violence?", where she shared her experience. "Although it is embarrassing to speak out, I still hope to tell the majority of female friends about my experience, and also to remind other male friends to cherish their wives and not to gain their own interests by suppressing their wives. ”
Although Tang Ping has started a new life, I think what Tang Ping needs to do most is not only to share her experience of domestic violence and court proceedings with others, but also to find a job that suits her during graduate school. Work provides financial resources, and winning sympathy cannot buy a piece of bread. In the end, you have to support yourself and use your own abilities and strength to strengthen yourself. Otherwise, even if you win the lawsuit and obtain custody, the future life and education of the two young children will be problematic.
Although the sparrow is small, it can support itself, so it can live freely in this world, and at the same time it has gained the respect of humans.
Looking at those women who have successful careers, we know that only when they have an independent personality, do not depend on others, and strengthen themselves, will women be respected whether in the family or in society.
Written by Wen Ruochen on July 13, 2022
