On the afternoon of July 3, Hong Kong media reported that one of the "Four Great Talents in Hong Kong" and science fiction writer Ni Kuang passed away at the age of 87.
In an interview before his death, Ni Kuang said: "What I hate most is when someone asks me to walk for an hour, do some exercise, and eat food. I asked what the purpose is? They said it is for longevity.
But my purpose is the same as yours. Different, I’d better die now. ”
In life, he was a bohemian vagabond, even in his seventies, eating a lot of meat and drinking a lot.
But at work, he is extremely self-disciplined. He once wrote serials for 12 newspapers at the same time. He has never stopped writing for 20 years and is known as "the fastest writer in Hong Kong and even China."
Why should people be self-disciplined? How can I be self-disciplined?
Ni Kuang’s different attitudes towards life and work may allow us to find the key. He once said:
“My motivation for writing is, first, to make a living, second, interest, and third, because I have no other ability, and writing is my The only skill to make a living."
The famous social psychologist Maslow believes that if your heart changes, your attitude will change; if your attitude changes, your habits will change; if your habits change, your personality will change; your personality will change. , your life changes accordingly.
Everything originates from the heart. Inner motivation determines people's attention and affects people's thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
Have you ever noticed that when you make up your mind to do one thing over and over again, such as saving money, losing weight, or exercising, in the end you can't stick to it for a few days? Sometimes you are stimulated by an unexpected event, such as a family member getting sick, Or if your physical examination indicators are high, you will suddenly be able to save money or control your diet in a planned way.
What this unexpected event inspired is your motivation for change.
A TED speech told a story.
Lucas grew up in a single-parent family and lived a difficult life. He had a mother and a younger sister at home. However, he could not face the pressure of life and played night and night, unable to extricate himself.
During the summer vacation when he was about to become a freshman, his mother was seriously ill and sent to the emergency room.
had gone through various difficulties together. The most important person in life was struggling on the edge of death. Although my mother had the courage to fight against the disease, she finally passed away.
In this way, Lucas became the head of the family. He had to support himself and take care of his sister.
It's summer vacation and Lucas has found a full-time job. His only goal is to go to work every day, day after day. He never gave up any opportunity to make money, and his determination to support his family never wavered.
He didn’t want his friends to know that he was working part-time. Every time his friends asked him to go to a carnival at night, he refused on the grounds that he had to teach his sister homework.
He is used to the rhythm of work every day. He no longer buys junk food. Instead, he prepares healthy dinner and breakfast for the next day after work every day. In addition to working every day, I cook until school starts.
After school started, Lucas had to cope with many things at the same time. He changed to a part-time job to ensure that he attended every class so as not to fall behind other classmates...
Days like this lasted throughout college, and he did not drop out of school midway. , and graduated with honors.
After graduation, he got a high-paying job and maintained his old life schedule.
Finally, his sister also entered college. He and his sister started their own families and maintained a good relationship.
Imagining that his deceased mother would be happy for Lucas, Lucas changed his attitude towards life, from the original bohemian to the master of his own destiny. For him, the most important thing is "motivation".
Strong motivation can inspire people's potential. After his mother passed away, he was led by the responsibility of being the head of the family and taking care of his sister. He had no choice.
We often see in movies that when a boxer is about to lose in the last round, he will remember why he boxed, and he will suddenly gain explosive power.
mentioned in "Psychological Motivation" that human activities have three basic motivations: the pursuit of stable relationships, the desire for status, and the exploration of new knowledge.
Angela Ahola｜Zhejiang People’s Publishing House
Humans are social animals with a natural need for interaction and social relationships. Therefore, we are extremely interested in the behaviors, emotions and facial expressions of others.
We wonder who did what with whom and need to know who we can trust? Who's showing off? Who knows whom?
Only in this way can we build a stable and reliable relationship for ourselves.
Lucas was able to change his lifestyle after the death of his mother. The underlying motivation was that he hoped to maintain a stable family relationship with his sister. With the protection of this relationship, other social relationships would be meaningful.
At the same time, people's work rhythm and work performance will also be affected by others. People finish their drinks faster when others are around.
What music people listen to, what songs they like, what clothes they buy, how hard they work, and what names they give their children are all inevitably influenced by others.
In social relationships, people are often keen to understand powerful and successful people, for example, how the world's richest family builds their business empire.
People don’t say “I want to have higher status,” but that’s one of their basic motivations.
Just imagine, if we don’t have any influence, then our words will fall on deaf ears. We can't find our ideal job, and we may not get attention in the workplace, among friends, or on the dining table at home.
As a result, people strive to improve their status and collect signs that can show their status and indicate their success.
Hierarchy means order and stability, and can also promote cooperation. People who are good at comparing with others can survive because they know when it is their turn and when they can jump in line.
The last is the exploration of knowledge.
Human beings are willing to seek information and have a need to understand "why". In the process of exploring knowledge, we have learned how to control fire and understood how fleeting changes in weather affect different species.
The more we know about the world, the better we can survive. People accumulate knowledge just as other mammals store food and water.
Survival is not easy. Curiosity helps us explore the world we live in, and then adapt to and manage the environment.
"Touching China" was once awarded to an ordinary mother - Chen Yurong .
Her son suffered from a congenital disease - hepatolenticular disease. In his twenties, the condition worsened to the point where it could be life-threatening at any time.
Her son needed a liver transplant, so Chen Yurong decided to donate part of her liver to the child.
Unfortunately, Chen Yurong herself suffers from severe fatty liver . If she wants to donate a liver to her son, she must lose weight immediately and cannot do too strenuous exercise.
With this mission in mind, Chen Yurong started walking along the river dam every day. She got up at 5 o'clock and walked back and forth along the dam, once in the morning and once in the evening, 10 kilometers a day.
In terms of diet, she only eats half a fist-sized piece of rice and boiled vegetables every day. "I feel sorry for my son even after eating two biscuits."
In this way, Chen Yurong spent half a year losing 16 pounds, reduced fatty liver, and successfully donated half of his liver to his son.
We often say that to lose weight, you only need to "open your legs and keep your mouth shut", but in the face of delicious food, these two things become particularly difficult.
For Chen Yurong, what makes her achieve strict self-discipline is the responsibility and mission of "saving a child's life".
Writer Stefan Zweig said: "The greatest happiness for a person is to discover the mission of this life in the middle of life, in the prime of creativity."
With a mission, you have the ability to do one thing and persist in it. The strongest motivation for a lifestyle.
When you set a goal for yourself, you might as well ask yourself a few more questions: What is your real motivation behind this goal? What are your responsibilities and mission?
No matter what difficulties and obstacles you face, with this motivation, you will have the courage and will to persevere.
author | Cabbage, write other people's stories and live your own life.
picture | Visual China, Internet (If there is any infringement, please contact us for deletion)
