meet in heaven and stay together in people.
Author: Insightyy
Harvard University spent 75 years doing a follow-up study and found that:
People's happiness does not come from money, status and other things that most people pursue, but from good things. interpersonal relationships.
If interpersonal relationships are not handled well, your life will become a mess.
In fact, there are underlying laws in people’s interactions.
If you master the following four laws of interpersonal relationships, you will be able to gain true love and make your life smoother.
1
Law of Interpersonal Reciprocity
A professor of at Cornell University once conducted an experiment.
He asked two assistants to work with two strangers to rate dozens of identical paintings.
The weather was hot at the time. During the break, one of the assistants went to the supermarket to buy two bottles of water and gave one bottle to his collaborator.
The other assistant only bought his own bottle of water without considering his collaborator.
At the end of the scoring, the two assistants simultaneously asked their respective collaborators to do a small favor.
The first collaborator agreed without any hesitation, while the second one chose to politely refuse.
This is the psychological " law of reciprocal relationship " :
You have given me favors, and I am also willing to help you.
Qian Zhongshu's family lived in Shanghai for a while, with no income and difficult life. After
director Huang Zuolin learned about it, he invested in the filming of Yang Jiang's comedy and immediately sent the Qian family remuneration.
Relying on this fund, Qian Zhongshu and his family got through the difficulties.
Later, in 1990, Huang Zuolin's daughter Huang Shuqin encountered a bottleneck on her way to becoming a director.
At that time, someone recommended to her that " Siege " was a very good script.
However, Qian Zhongshu had long since declined, saying that "my humble work is not suitable for the screen." Many well-known directors asked for authorization but were turned away.
Huang Shuqin decided to visit and knocked on the door of Qian Zhongshu's house.
When Qian Zhongshu learned that she was Huang Zuolin's daughter, he immediately slapped the table and awarded the film and television drama adaptation rights of "Fortress Besieged". He also said:
Niece Huang Shuqin, don't feel pressure, no matter whether the filming is good or not, we will support you.
Interactions between people are a heart-to-heart exchange.
If you help someone who has fallen down, he will try to help you when you are in trouble in the future.
You support your colleagues, and your colleagues are willing to provide you with convenience when you need it.
Emerson said: "One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that people sincerely help others and at the same time receive help from others."
Helping others is a kind act and will also create good relationships.
A person who has other people in mind will not be bad at popularity.
2
Law of Interpersonal Similarity
In the book "Social Psychology", a term is proposed: Law of Interpersonal Similarity .
means that if there are similarities between two people, it will easily make people feel satisfied.
Therefore, the similarity between people can increase their attraction to each other.
The three views are the same, and people with similar interests can always meet inadvertently.
Chen Yinke and Fu Sinian during the Republic of China. They were able to form a deep friendship because of their similarities.
In the study abroad circle in Berlin, Germany at that time, few people concentrated on their studies, with the exception of Chen Yinke.
While other people were gathering and chatting, he was immersed in reading; his classmates were all talking about love, but he never participated in it.
Fu Sinian is a "nerd". No matter where he goes, he will carry a big bag filled with large books.
After the two met in Berlin , they hit it off and became good friends.
Affected by the civil war at that time, those who studied abroad with official scholarships had no source of income, and others were looking for ways to work odd jobs to maintain their lives.
But they didn't care at all. They bought the cheapest bread every morning, then went into the library and didn't come out until it was closed.
The two of them spent the whole day in the library, gnawing on old bread and smiling at each other during meals.
Later, Fu Sinian, who originally studied physics, under the influence of Chen Yinke, actually changed his major to linguistics, which he liked.
The two of them went to class together during the day, discussed academic matters with each other, and even slept together at night.
The world is so big and there are so many international students, but their meticulous pursuit of academics makes them attracted to each other.
I have heard a saying, with the same voice and the same spirit.
The kind of person you are will attract the kind of people you are.
Even if you are separated by mountains and seas, someone who is similar to you will come close to you, stay close to you, and nourish you.
So don’t worry you will be alone.
What kind of person do you want to be with? First try to become that person.
3
The law of interpersonal harmony
There was once a class teacher who did an experiment.
He asked the students to write the names of their favorite classmates on the cards.
It was found that the student who wrote the most names on the card also had the most names on other cards.
On the contrary, those who are picky about other students also have no one to write about them.
This is the psychological "Law of Interpersonal Joy" :
Only when you appreciate others will they appreciate you.
When former U.S. President Eisenhower first started working, he had a boss who was difficult to deal with.
The boss always had a straight face. No matter who made a small mistake, he would not look down upon him. However, he was always kind to Eisenhower and rarely lost his temper.
Other colleagues were very curious about this and thought Eisenhower had a good background.
Eisenhower explained:
Every time I met him, I imagined that he was smiling at me, and then I smiled back at him.
In fact, his boss was indifferent to his smile at first, but Eisenhower didn't mind at all and always smiled every time he met.
Until one day, his boss smiled at him and said hello from time to time. Later, the two of them talked more and more.
In the end, the two of them became very good friends.
Carnegie said: "Whether it is a butcher, a baker, or even an emperor on the throne, they all like others to show kindness to them."
A smiling person, no matter how serious a person is, will smile at you. .
Those who love others will always be loved by others; those who respect others will always be respected by others.
Only if you convey kindness to others, others will show warmth to you. In 1953, psychologist Suvillivan proposed the "interpersonal complementarity theory" .
Everyone’s personality is flawed, and life is complete only if you find the person who can make up for your flaws.
has seen the story of Bill Gates and Ballmer .
Bill Gates is a genius in computer science. Under the leadership of his technical ability, Microsoft has developed smoothly.
But facing the growing company, he began to have difficulties.
He is introverted, taciturn, and not good at communicating with others.
Managing employees and going out to discuss business have become hard problems for him to overcome.
Until he invited his college friend Ballmer.
Ballmer is born outgoing, enthusiastic, speaks with a sense of humor, and likes to deal with people the most.
When he was in college at Harvard , he was able to serve as a manager of four or five community organizations.
With Bill Gates and Ballmer, Microsoft's shortcomings have also been filled.
One of them is introverted, the other is extroverted; one is cold and serious, and the other is passionate.
They have completely different personalities, but they have similar qualities and complement each other.
It is precisely because of this complementarity that Bill Gates can concentrate on being a "tech geek" and Ballmer is also happy to run the company.
Microsoft is booming, and the relationship between the two has become deeper and deeper.
Lao Tzu said: "All things are long and short, high and low complement each other, sounds are harmonious, and front and back follow each other."
Each of us is like a semicircle. Throughout our lives, we are all trying to find the other half that complements ourselves.
Only when two complementary semicircles meet and combine can we achieve happiness and perfection.
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wrote in "Howl's Moving Castle":
When we meet, know each other, and stay together in the vast sea of people, everything will not be smooth sailing for anyone.
Whether it is love or friendship, the establishment of every relationship is actually a blessing obtained by us in the previous life after going through many hardships.
meet in heaven and stay together in people.
Understand these four laws of interpersonal relationships, be grateful for every encounter, and cherish every fate.
Like , I hope you can use your sincerity to get a long-term mutual understanding.
