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Charlotte Bronte "Jane Eyre": " I know I am poor and I am not good-looking, but I also have the right to love others. "
No one is qualified to deprive you of the right to love others, but this does not Doesn't mean the person you love has to love you.
The root of emotional affairs lies in "will", and then it is a matter between two people. If both parties are willing to love each other, there is no need to talk about rights and obligations, and it can be a happy relationship. And if the two sides are not going both ways, and the person you love doesn't love you, you must be willing to admit defeat, otherwise you are a stupid person. No matter how hard you try, people who don't love you will never love you.
Even if two people are in love, they may fall out of love halfway. In this case, you should also be willing to admit defeat and accept the fact of losing love. Otherwise, even if you force yourself to keep the person you love, you won't be able to keep her heart, and she won't love you anymore.
People who can implement the above principles in their relationships will be free and easy; those who cannot implement the above principles will ask for trouble. Although love can be prepared for a rainy day, variables are uncontrollable. It is best not to occur. If they occur, you should accept them, because this is your life.. The reader below did not understand these principles.
Letters from readers:
Only after getting divorced did I understand: It is easy for men with no money to get married, but it is difficult to stay married..
I originally thought that my ex-wife was ignorant and thought that it would be fine if I remarried after the divorce. However, I found that marriage was not as simple as I imagined.
I have to say that a person’s origin is really important. People with good family backgrounds have always been confident since childhood. The main thing is that they do not learn bad things. It is easier for them to achieve success in their careers and make money because they have no worries and can devote themselves to what they want to do. .
People like me, who come from a bad background, have had low self-esteem since childhood and have no confidence. Although I didn't learn bad things when I grew up, because I didn't have primitive accumulation, I couldn't let go of anything. I didn't dare to do many things, and I thought too much. Because I was afraid of poverty, I always worried that I would be beaten back to my original shape.
This situation makes me dare not fall in love at all in other places, because the cost is too high and I can't bear it. In addition, my mother always asked me to go home to get married. From the perspective of stability, I had no choice but to go back to my hometown to find someone to marry.
It was not too difficult for me to go back to my hometown to get married because I had worked hard for so many years and had some money. However, the little money I have is only enough to cover the expenses of marriage, which means that after getting married, I have no money again..
I have no choice but to go to other places to make money again. However, I didn’t dare to take my wife with me. Firstly, I was worried that I would be distracted. Secondly, I was worried that the two of us would quarrel together. Thirdly, I was worried that there would be too many temptations outside. I was afraid of losing my marriage. At the same time, I also considered my mother. She was old and had no one to take care of her, so I made this arrangement: "You stay back home to take care of my mother, and I'll go out to work!"
I thought I wouldn't let her work and would arrange a job for her, and she would happily accept it. Who would Unexpectedly, she said: "Get a divorce! I don't want to be a nanny!"
I started to reason with her in an attempt to persuade her, but in the end I made many mistakes. In the end, even if I asked her to make her own arrangements, she was not happy and insisted on getting a divorce. : " You have no ability to make me happy. No matter how we arrange our lives, I will live very tired! "
I didn't have the confidence to argue with her. I kept showing weakness, but it did not change the outcome. Not only that, I also lost a lot of money because of this short marriage.
After that, I wanted to make sure that the woman respects my arrangement first, and then consider whether to get married. It turned out that getting married was not easy for me, because in addition to the label of "no money", I also had the label of divorce .
I don’t understand why things are like this. I’m not a bad person. I can truly love someone. No matter what arrangements I make, I will do my best to make the woman happy. Why should they deprive me of my lover's rights? My life is already difficult, why should fate be so unfair to me?
Donglin Xiting Emotional suggestions:
From the reader's personal perspective, there is nothing wrong with his accusation. However, because the issue he is considering is not just about one person, it is unreasonable to look at it comprehensively.
Before getting married, he worked alone to make money. No matter how difficult it was, no matter how much money he made, because he was not controlled by other people, he could be very free. He had the final say in everything.
However, marriage cannot be played like this, because it also involves the wishes of another person. If he can meet someone who is in tune with him or who obeys his instructions, he will certainly not have so many worries; but the fact is that if he meets someone who is not in tune with him and does not obey his arrangements, he will naturally He should be willing to admit defeat and accept the reality, but he was unwilling to do so, so he was left with only pain.
What he said, "It is easy to get married, but difficult to stay married" is not a rule. If there were no problems in his marriage, he would definitely not think so.
Going further, it doesn't matter what he thinks. What matters is whether he can accept the fact that his marriage is not going well, and whether he can accept that the person he loves does not love him. If he still can't figure out these two problems, even if he gets rich later, his marriage will still not go smoothly, because the root of his illness is in his heart, and only by convincing himself first can he get through the way in reality .
