After many people enter middle age, their attitude towards marriage will change greatly. Most of them will inadvertently show a state of making do with their lives. When others ask them how they feel about their partner, few people can Answer it fully.
When most people reach middle age and find problems in their marriage, the first thing they consider is not divorce, but letting the marriage take its course. While complaining about the unbearable condition of the marriage, at the same time helplessly accepting the current situation of the marriage.
Many couples will feel bored when they reach middle age. No matter how the other half dresses, they cannot arouse any interest.
At this time, it is the most likely cause of problems in the relationship between husband and wife. After most people lose feelings for their significant other, they start to complain about the other person's shortcomings and feel bored no matter what the other person does.
After a long time, both parties will have the emotion of divorce, but most people do not have the courage to divorce and can only stay with each other bored.
Many times, once people reach middle age, even if there are problems in their marriage, they don’t have much energy to maintain it, because apart from work and family, both parties barely have much energy to manage their emotional problems.
In fact, no matter how boring a middle-aged marriage is, as long as everyone understands these two principles, a boring marriage will become happier.
1. Try to accept the good and the bad
When you are in love, everyone is very passionate. Both parties will put all their energy into each other and pursue passion for each other. But marriage is different. In addition to love, marriage also includes everything in ordinary life. What it needs is not a vigorous life, but a steady flow.
Many middle-aged people’s disappointment in marriage actually comes from the fact that women feel that men don’t love them anymore, while men think that women don’t like themselves anymore, so while they feel inferior to each other and torture each other, they also put away the last passion of marriage. Run out.
But have you ever thought about it? When they got married, they got together because of their love for each other. At the moment they took the oath of marriage, both parties firmly believed that they would stay with each other for life and never lose each other.
We also clearly understand that the other party did not lie when they vowed, at least at that moment they really loved each other. But as time goes by, I no longer love and have no feelings. These are all true.
When Ms. Zhong and her husband were in love, although both parties had quarreled over some trivial matters, in the end they would explain things clearly after they calmed down, and all misunderstandings would be resolved.
Especially in daily interactions, both parties will subconsciously magnify each other's strengths and choose to ignore each other's shortcomings. Therefore, no matter what happens in their daily interactions, they can resolve their misunderstandings in the shortest time and still make peace as before.
But now, Ms. Zhong finds that both herself and her husband have undergone tremendous changes. They have been married for more than ten years, and they have had some quarrels in the process, but they can deal with problems calmly and take good care of each other's marriage.
However, now, she and her husband can hardly see each other's merits. They only have cold wars and quarrels every day, and they don't like each other. Even when I do anything, I rarely think about the other person like I did when I was young.
Because of the endless quarrels, Ms. Zhong became physically and mentally exhausted. She also thought about divorce, but then she thought about it, what would happen to her children after divorce? And how should I live alone? So even though she is dissatisfied with her current marriage, Ms. Zhong and her husband still have not reached the stage of divorce.
Actually, what I want to say is that since we can't change marriage, it is better to try to accept marriage, accept everything around us, and then use reasonable methods to change the status quo.
For example, when you can’t see your husband’s strengths, don’t deliberately exaggerate the other person’s shortcomings; when facing a dispute, please stay calm and rational, and first use reasonable methods to resolve conflicts; don’t always worry about who is right and who is wrong, do it appropriately Make concessions.
Only by accepting reality can we change reality.
2. Properly plan family income
In fact, we all understand that the source of conflicts in most ordinary families in real life is related to the economic situation.
Many men will put all their energy into their marriage because they have families after marriage. Their salary is generally higher than that of women. As their salary increases, they will have different views on family affairs. They feel that they are outside the home. Just make money and let your wife do the housework.
The same goes for women. After marriage, they choose to be housewives, lose their careers and freedom, and put all their energy into their families.
Doing this will not only not make the family and marriage better, but will instead make the relationship between the two parties go on another track. You know, a happy marriage usually needs to be "evenly matched", that is to say, each other's abilities must complement each other. Only in this way can each other establish an equal status in the marriage.
If the marriage is unbalanced and family affairs are too clearly divided, the relationship between husband and wife will become tense. Both parties will think about the problem from their own standpoints, and will not take the initiative to think about the difficulties of the other party.
In addition to the issue of family income, the two parties will also have disagreements over income and expenditure issues. As the differences become larger and larger, there will be more and more conflict points. After all, most of the conflicts in ordinary families are caused by firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. If these problems are solved, most of the conflicts will disappear.
As the old saying goes, "Poor and lowly couples suffer from everything", which is actually not unreasonable. Couples with better quality of life will have different education and class, and will have different attitudes and visions towards things. Both parties will know how to maintain and manage marriages.
On the contrary, if the basic quality of life between husband and wife cannot be guaranteed, then along with life problems will come endless quarrels, conflicts will gradually escalate, and finally affect the relationship between husband and wife.
The last thing I want to tell you is that it is not easy to get married into middle age, so both parties must manage it well, understand the difficulties of marriage and life, and accommodate each other.
After all, married life is similar, and there will always be bumps and tumbles. As long as you know how to accept each other's good and bad qualities, you can work together to protect each other's marriage.
We must know how to be tolerant and understanding, appropriately lower our expectations for marriage and partners, learn to manage ourselves, find conflicts within ourselves, treat marriage and life with a sincere heart, and believe that marriage and life will not I've treated you badly.
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