preface: Because of the man's words "I will support you", I resigned from my job because of my soft-heartedness. Later, when my marriage broke up, I realized that women are not independent financially and their personality is also not independent. I have to stand up on my own! - —This is what a friend of mine, Sister Mei, told me. The following is her story!
Today is our tenth wedding anniversary, and I have the idea of celebrating it well. When I got married, I didn't even have a wedding photo taken because of financial constraints. I want to take my son with Liu Gang to take a group of photos.
I went out early in the morning to buy groceries, preparing to cook a table of delicious food to celebrate. By the way, I sent my son to my grandmother not far away and took him back when I got back. Usually Liu Gang is busy with business and rarely leaves home. It happened to be that he came back for dinner at noon today. It's raining outside, a light drizzle, and the weather is cold.
When I came out of the market and approached the entrance of the community, I found a car parked on the roadside about 70 meters away from the entrance of the community. It seemed to be Liu Gang's car. There was a man and a woman on the other side of the car. Just standing there. The woman seemed to be slapping the man, her movements were sharp and fierce, and the man's arms were hanging down, showing no resistance!
I looked carefully and felt that the man's posture looked a bit like Liu Gang. But it was a little far away and I couldn't see clearly. Because each hand was carrying a large package of vegetables , I couldn't think of making a phone call, but something didn't feel right. I saw the woman arguing for a while, and the two of them got into my car and drove away!
I stood there, and I didn’t react for a while. After standing for a while, the drizzle was still falling, and the rain hit my face. , I felt my heart was instantly chilled to the bone!
I walked back home dizzy with heavy steps, put down the dishes in my hands, and walked to the sofa to lie down. By the way, I wanted to refresh my mind!
After a while, Liu Gang suddenly came back. I saw that his hair was a little messy, and he didn't say anything, so he lowered his head and entered the bathroom. He rarely comes back during the day. I know he won’t remember what day today is! Besides, I don’t have the time to think about this day. I just feel it’s a bit ironic!
Because I’m still not sure of the truth of the matter, even though I’m feeling panicked, I don’t want to just talk about it directly. Have a showdown with him or make a big noise!
He came out of the bathroom and said: I'm a little uncomfortable today and want to take a rest! He walked into the bedroom and closed the door, and I heard the door locking.
I said: OK, rest! At this time I found traces of nail scratches on his face!
I cooked the meal silently and called him to eat. I called a few times but no one answered. I knocked on the door and suddenly heard him say very loudly. :What are you shouting for? I’m so annoyed!
My tears immediately flowed out, and the more I wiped them, the more they flowed, and they kept flowing! In the past few years, as he made more and more money, he became more and more like an uncle at home. Sometimes he would get angry when things didn't go his way. temper.
Sometimes I want to ask him what happened, but he will say with a cold face: It’s so annoying, you don’t understand even if I tell you! Sometimes the atmosphere at home makes me and my son afraid to express our anger!
It’s true. , I don’t understand his business. And as time goes by. His temper and character became increasingly unpredictable.
After a while, he walked out. Perhaps he realized that his attitude was not good, so he sat next to me and said: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. Get up and eat. I have to go out soon and have something to do in the afternoon.
While eating, I found that he was still frowning and did not raise his eyes to look at me. When he was about to leave after eating, I couldn't help but ask him: Why don't you explain what happened today? You are in such a bad mood, what happened, can't you tell me?
He suddenly said impatiently: What's wrong? Didn't I tell you I'm sorry? There are some things that you don’t understand even if you tell them.
I am also angry: Have you told me?
Liu Gang glanced at me, with an indescribable indifference in his eyes: I'm leaving, don't wait for me tonight!
At this moment, I feel particularly sad! When did I, Li Mei, become such a resentful woman! Is this still me?
I needed to think about it carefully. I called my son and his grandma and asked him to stay at grandma's house for one night and pick him up tomorrow. I said I had a headache, as if I had a cold!
I went to bed without eating dinner, but my mind was full of turmoil. Although it was not determined yet, the worries and fears that had been in my heart for the past few years finally came, but this time For a moment, I felt a little relieved! It was like a hanging heart finally landed! I can't cry and make a fuss like other women, making it known to passers-by. I can't afford to embarrass this person!
Thinking of the problems I am about to face, I began to think carefully about my future this night! Thinking of our past We fell in love with each other and burst into tears again!
In the autumn of 1994, after I graduated from technical secondary school, I was assigned to work in finance in a large state-owned enterprise. Liu Gang came in the same year. He studied computers and was responsible for the company's technology. After being introduced, we joined We got together, got married a year later, and later had a son! We lived in the company’s dormitory building. It has been a smooth journey, I am very happy!
Later, the company was restructured and the company began to lay off employees. The company's performance became worse and worse, because Liu Gang knew computers. At that time, computers were just emerging and there were not many people doing the computer business.
He is a talent in short supply. Because he felt that the salary in the company was too low, he resigned and started a business partnership with a few friends! They rented a house in the county town, and I still worked in the company, which was in a town in the countryside.
In recent years, we have been living apart, but that period was the best time for our relationship as a couple. Whenever he was free, he came home to see my son and me.
One day it was raining heavily outside. He said that at that moment he missed my son and me especially, and we sat in the car for more than three hours. It was already past 10pm when I got home. As soon as he walked in, he looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but shed tears. In the kitchen, he held me tight in his arms. At that moment I felt that I was his wife, I was very proud and happy!
Later, he withdrew his shares and started his own business because he was familiar with the business. With the advent of computers and the Internet, his business grew more and more. The better! In order for our children to go to school, we bought a house in the city and a car.
At that time, my monthly salary was not high, and I had to run back and forth every day. I would leave early and come back late, and sometimes I could not take care of my children. Liu Gang asked me to resign and go home to be a wife.
Seeing his insistence, I temporarily gave up my job and took my son to school. I had nothing to do at home the rest of the time. I felt a little empty and full of worries about the future. It’s not because of money or life, but because I feel more and more isolated from society!
also feels more and more that Gang Liu has changed. He is less and less busy with excuses to go home, and he doesn’t care much about me anymore! He is becoming more and more dismissive! His business is getting better and better, and our money is getting more and more, but the person has changed!
I was lying in bed and thinking wildly, replaying the scene I saw in the morning over and over in my mind. I know he cheated, maybe he is with that girl now! Maybe it was the girl who asked him to take responsibility...
Just imagining it like this made my heart hurt and my pillow was wet with tears! It was as if I had fallen into a deep well! What do you want to do in the future? What can I do to support myself? What to do with the children? What do your family think? What do others think? If I really cheat, will I have the courage to divorce? I'm only 36 years old, should I just swallow my anger and live my life begging for mercy?
At about one o'clock in the night, Liu Gang came back. After drinking, he was probably too tired, so he fell asleep! I pretended to be asleep and didn't say anything!
At about two or three o'clock, he put it on the bedside table There was a text message sound on my son's cell phone. I never looked at his cell phone before, but now I couldn't help but want to see who sent him the message late at night, and I had a hunch that it was that woman.
I stood up gently, went around to the bedside table on the other side of the bed, took his mobile phone, and found that there was no password. I opened the phone and saw a message: You should quickly consider when you will break up with that yellow-faced woman of yours. , I can’t stand it anymore with no status or status! Get back to me within a week!
My heart was heavy but I felt much more relaxed! I felt that it was finally clear and I finally saw the truth! I didn’t have to guess or worry anymore, but my hands couldn’t help shaking after a while. Get up! I took out my mobile phone and took a photo of the message! I gently put Liu Gang's mobile phone back to its original place!
I stayed awake all night until dawn! At the same time, I made a decision in my heart: I want a divorce! Regardless of the future The name of marriage is still the name of children!
What a proud girl I was once! How many boys like me! Although she is not the school beauty, she is at least the class beauty! She is also conscientious at work, has good abilities, and is highly praised by the leaders! Why should I live like this!
The next morning, while eating breakfast, I tried to calm myself down. I looked into Liu Gang’s eyes and said: Let’s get a divorce!
His eyes widened, he was stunned for a moment, and said loudly: Why are you so crazy so early in the morning? What nonsense are you talking about?
I said: I saw you and that woman at the gate of the community yesterday! I also read the message she sent last night! Do you think it is necessary for our marriage to continue?
He suddenly became angry: What woman? Who sent the wrong information?
I said: This is boring! Don’t worry, I won’t ask for your money! Just give me some child support for my son!
When Liu Gang heard what I said, he stood up suddenly, walked to my side, and his voice softened a lot: Wife, I'm sorry, it was the girl from the company who hooked up with me. I was confused and couldn't help it, so I got together with her! Wife, please forgive me this time. I don’t want to get divorced. Look at us over the years. We have a successful career, a car and a house. People are envious of us. Besides, divorce is not good for the children! Let the elders of the two families know how much to worry about. ah! I will solve this matter right away! Give me a few days, okay?
I think I have to make arrangements and think about what to do in the future, so I agree not to go through the divorce procedures for the time being and wait until the appropriate time. You can live in the office during this time! We lived apart for a while.
Starting from the second day, I paid attention to various employment information, and chatted with friends and colleagues, asking them to help me pay attention to what jobs I could do. Because I have been away from society for a long time, some of my knowledge about my job has been updated. , and I don’t want to go to my original unit anymore!
Finally, after repeated consideration, I happened to have a friend who owned a supermarket. She said that the business was not bad. There were relatively few supermarkets at that time and I did not have enough funds. It was accumulated over the years. There are too many things to do when opening a supermarket. I want to open a cigarette shop. Firstly, it is free and I can take care of my children. Secondly, it has no technical content. Thirdly, it has no shelf life, which saves trouble! There is also a large local winery, so it is easy to get the goods.
did what he said. I rented a shop at the entrance of a community with a lot of traffic. Then we need to do some simple decoration, apply for a business license, apply for a tobacco license, consider purchasing goods, and deal with all kinds of people. There are so many things at once, and we face many difficulties, and sometimes our hearts I'm a little scared, and I can't breathe due to the pressure of so many things. After two months of busy work, the store is finally open! It’s really not easy to do business!
During this period, many people, including my family members, did not understand my sudden start in business and said that I "don't know how lucky I am despite being blessed." I could only smile. He said that he was tired of staying at home and wanted to do something to enrich himself!
Since Liu Gang and I agreed to separate, he rarely comes back. Sometimes he comes back to see his son, but the two of us still have to pretend in front of our son. It seems like nothing happened! Sometimes when I was busy opening a shop, I would leave my child with his grandma to have lunch! But I didn’t relax at all when it came to studying! I would follow his study well at night!
When people are busy, time flies very fast. In the blink of an eye, a few months have passed and my store has begun to make money.
At that time, the social trend of eating and drinking was relatively strong, and with Liu Gang's influence, many colleagues and friends drank from me, and they didn't know what happened between the two of us. Gradually, we have many regular units and customers, and many people give us gifts during the Chinese New Year and holidays. Our business is getting better and better!
Although I am busy, because I have just started, I do everything personally. Sometimes when the company uses wine, I will be asked to deliver it to a restaurant!
Once I had to deliver two boxes of wine to a restaurant, so I called one I got a tricycle to help me. When I arrived at the door of the hotel, the driver left.
The private room of the hotel is on the second floor, so I picked up a box of wine and sent it upstairs. When I moved the second box of wine to the middle of the stairs, I unexpectedly ran into Liu Gang who was walking downstairs. He was in a suit and leather shoes. Big boss style. When
saw me, he was a little dumbfounded and his mouth opened wide. Behind him was a tall and thin girl. I didn’t know if it was that girl. I leaned to the side and tried to hurry up while carrying the wine. When I went upstairs, Liu Gang took my drink and said, "I'll do it!" I said, "No!" When I walked up, he followed me.
At this time, the woman wanted to follow, but Liu Gang stopped her unhappily and said that she had nothing to do and he could go back!
He said: Can't you find someone to do these things? When have you ever experienced such hardship? I smiled and said nothing.
Don’t he know that the unbearable pain in my heart is really painful? But I didn’t show it at all on my face! I looked a bit calm and relaxed!
He asked me: Are you okay? I said: Very good!
He said: It’s better not to do it! I need money for you! Or hire someone to help you! I said: No! The air is dull! The two of us are as polite as strangers!
He said: He broke up with that woman, and this one just came to accompany a guest to dinner! She is from the company Business Manager!
I said: No need to explain! Go back!
After Liu Gang drove away, I stood on the side of the road, tears bursting out of my eyes! I was sad, but more importantly, I felt strong and a little happy!
During the Chinese New Year, business was better than I imagined, because I have a good personality. Treat people with integrity and get more and more repeat customers! Mainly, there weren’t many tobacco and alcohol shops at that time, so I had a good opportunity!
I also made a lot of money for more than half a year. At this time, our families on both sides also knew about our affairs. Liu Gang was scolded by his parents, saying that he was obsessed! I don’t know how high the sky is when I have a little bad money, and I do these dirty things! A good family has ended up like this! They all advised me to forgive him for the sake of my child, and let the family live a good life in the future!
I said that my store has just started Well, I still want to do a good job in business first. I don’t want to talk about this issue for now. Let’s talk about it later!
After my son learned about his father, he suddenly became more sensible. He would come to the store on weekends and see me very busy and tired. He hugged me and said: Mom, you are amazing! Please forgive me, Dad!
When I heard what my son said, I was filled with emotion and felt that it was right for me to step out.
Later, I just lived in the store, and I didn’t want to go home! My family and friends all say that I am stupid. Liu Gang has made so much money and you are still enduring such hardships. Men in the business world will make fun of themselves. This matter will be over in the past. What’s the big deal? There is no need to be angry!
I said that I am not angry. , I like this feeling of independence! I haven’t had this feeling for a long time! During
, the store was on the right track. Liu Gang and I proposed the idea of divorcing, but he disagreed. He said that he knew he was wrong and he would never make such a mistake again! He doesn't want this family to break up!
Actually, I felt a little soft. I started to realize that it was not easy until I started doing business. Thinking about the years when he was working hard outside, I couldn't do anything to help him, so my feelings may have drifted! Maybe I still love this man in my heart! But I still can't let go when I think of my painful feeling!
Compared with before, my desire and dependence on him are much weaker. I am no longer the yellow-faced woman he kept at home who only knows how to do housework. In the past, his words would hurt me or influence me! In the past year, I have been constantly struggling and suffering in my heart, but I have no hysterical anger or desire to accuse! I said to him: I don’t want to return when I like it!
I am no longer satisfied with getting some small items from others. , I went to our local winery and found the leader. After communication and hard work, I finally got the general agency rights for two products!
I also wanted to expand the store and make the business bigger and stronger, because when I left, I also I didn’t want Liu Gang’s money, so I started asking family and friends to borrow money. When Liu Gang heard about it, he came over and gave me a bank card. He said it was all the money in the family! From his eyes, I saw the long-lost desire and respect!
He also started asking his family to persuade me. He said he planned to let people manage his company slowly, and he would smoke Time came to help me. He asked me to hire delivery workers and cleaning aunties, so that I would stop doing hard work!
In order to reconcile, he lowered his profile and often called me to ask for extra clothes in the cold weather. He also cared about whether I was sick! Take care of your health and take my son and me out to eat delicious food! It feels like we are starting to fall in love!
Later, on my son’s birthday, he insisted that we spend it together, and our family of three returned to our long-lost home. I also chose to forgive him!
More than a year of turmoil made me understand a simple truth:
Only when a woman is financially independent can she have dignity, live the life she wants, and be qualified to choose what she wants. The lifestyle you want, all of this is based on your hands being enough to make you independent, and your shoulders being able to carry your own heavy future.
This is the story of Sister Mei, she is a woman that I admire!
Postscript: Later, Sister Mei’s husband closed his company and devoted himself wholeheartedly to Sister Mei’s tobacco and alcohol company! Today, more than 20 years later , Sister Mei is already worth over 100 million! But he is low-key and restrained and has become a legend in the industry!
Many women will encounter such things in life. I hope you can overcome all obstacles and live a wonderful life! Even if you have nothing, there is no problem at all in giving back your own hands and supporting yourself! Just want to feel at ease! Life is not long, don’t wrong yourself and sink yourself into the quagmire and be unable to move!
