There is a scene in the TV series " You Are My Glory ": Qiao Jingjing and her family visited the Hainan satellite launch site. Everyone was very happy and excited, but Xiao Hu's wife was depressed.
Although they did not explain the conflicts in their family, it can be imagined that Xiao Hu devoted himself to scientific research and could only be divided into fewer energy in marriage. The two were separated from each other, which led to a great disagreement in their relationship.
Miller Berman wrote in "Intimate Relationship":
"When a wife takes on all or most of the housework, her sense of happiness in marriage is negative. When the couple works together or the housework is generally balanced, the sense of happiness in marriage is positive."
The asymmetry of the husband and wife in marriage is often an important factor in the breakdown of the relationship between the husband and wife. But many people ignore a problem, which is that they always focus their thoughts on the trivialities of life, so they feel unhappy.
Why do you say this?
The reason why two people want to enter marriage and build a common family is to make life better, rather than to consume the relationship between them and turn marriage into the grave of love.
Most people often change from their attitude towards their spouses before marriage to their marriage after marriage.
The various appreciations of him in the past became complaints after marriage. His original advantages also become disadvantages.
For example, the marriage between Xiao Hu and his wife, the wife knew about Xiao Hu's situation before getting married. As a front-line scientific researcher, she may be on standby on business trips at any time. She spends a lot of time taking care of her family for a long time.
But she married him without hesitation. At that time, what she saw was the positive and enterprising Xiao Hu.
However, after marriage, I couldn't accept the fact that the two often could not be together and began to be disappointed in the marriage.
This change in attitude is often the source of misfortune among some women in marriage.
Because most women transfer their energy to their families after they have love and marriage.
regards men as the center and regards feelings as too important, but when they cannot get a response from men, their psychology begins to become sharply unbalanced.
But they ignore that marriage is the icing on the cake for men. What they care more about is helping their careers to a higher level under the premise of a stable family.
The difference in thinking between men and women leads to differences in needs in marriage. However, because I did not realize this problem and the lack of communication and communication, I ended up with many contradictions.
In fact, the root of all problems is not complicated. It is nothing more than that women hope that men pay more attention to their psychological needs and take themselves more importantly, but men think that women are more sensible and can be in the same frequency as themselves.
So, how to open this knot in your heart?
Qiao Jingjing and Yu Tu are actually the best role models.
At first, Yu Tu refused to accept Qiao Jingjing's relationship, one was because of the huge gap in the economic strength of the two, and the other was because Yu Tu was worried that he would not have time to accompany each other in the future, which caused a psychological gap.
But in fact, Qiao Jingjing does not worship money, but secondly, she has her own career. Her life is arranged in a colorful way. Although love is very important to her, she will not stop moving forward without love.
After marriage, they both focus on their own careers, and do not lack regular communication and communication. When they encounter the right opportunity, they will get together.
Yu Tu previously thought that he had no time to accompany Qiao Jingjing, but in fact, after marriage, Qiao Jingjing did not focus on his life, but worked hard to cultivate her career like him.
They did not become enemies because of their marriage, but their relationship became deeper and deeper.
Maybe some people will say that it is in a TV series after all, real life is messy, and it is difficult to be so perfect.
But you have to understand that life is for yourself. Although it is a lifetime, happiness and misfortune are completely different concepts.
The story of a mother and son in Jinhua City, Zhejiang Province has become a hot search. Last year, my son was admitted to , Zhejiang University , and became an undergraduate student in tea majoring in the Agricultural College. This year, my mother Chen Lan was admitted to Zhejiang University’s doctoral degree.
Many people liked them mother and son, but one netizen said, "Dad has become the most embarrassing person in the family."
But is this really the case? It is reported that Chen Lan's husband is a well-known mental health expert in Jinhua . For many years, he insists on consolidating and deepening his professional knowledge, constantly making progress, and has a voice in the professional field.
The couple has a common life, and they do not give up their growth in their respective fields and manage their marriage to the best appearance. And the children who grow up in such a family will not be much worse.
often many people only regard marriage as a safe haven, hoping that the other party will tolerate and understand themselves infinitely, and bet on the other person all their expectations.
is the final result, making you feel less and less happy and farther away from the life you want.
I long for the other party to pay attention to it and hope that the other party will take it in his heart, worry about gains and losses, and lack a sense of security.
can't handle the inner entanglement by yourself, and eventually turn this emotion into complaints: "You promised to give me happiness", "You said you want to support me", "You can't fulfill your promise"...
Then you can't go through it, and you scattered one by one, and each seeks happiness.
But, can this solve the problem? It's really difficult.
The most terrifying thing in marriage is infinite internal friction, but I forgot the original intention of two people being together, in order to support each other and make each other better.
This is the root of most unfortunate marriages. It is also applicable to men and women.
END.
