A letter from a reader said: I was once young, I was once middle-aged, and my current evaluation of myself is: a 65-year-old bad old man. Before marrying my wife, I had a marriage that lasted for three years. Freely fell in love with his ex-wife and got married. It was just that

said:

was once young and once middle-aged, but his current evaluation of himself is: a 65-year-old bad old man.

Before I got married to my wife, I had a marriage that lasted for three years. Freely fell in love with his ex-wife and got married. It was just that during my ex-wife's pregnancy, I failed to guarantee my fidelity to the marriage. Afterwards, although my ex-wife forgave me, every time we had a conflict, she would bring up the old issues again. In the third year of marriage, she cheated on me for the so-called psychological balance, and we divorced because of this.

For many years after that, I did not get involved in love again, but spent more energy on making money. When I was 50 years old, I met my current wife, who was only 23 years old at the time. She is young, beautiful, well-behaved and sensible. The key is, she is the one who actively pursues me. In this case, I was moved. There is a saying about our love: She doesn't really love you, she just thinks you are rich. I have considered this factor, but I have also seen through the relationship between people: everyone is profitable. After seeing through the so-called utilitarianism, I calmly accepted this feeling. Now, my current wife is 38 years old, and she has begun to dislike me in various ways.

I am over sixty years old, and I don’t want too many quarrels between husband and wife. What’s more, I don’t have the energy to quarrel anymore. In this case, I said to my current wife: I know you think I am old. If you want to leave me at this time, I will give you 500,000 yuan at a time. I hope we can get together and be separated. My current wife initially disagreed with the divorce, but later said: If I give her one million, she will divorce me. Although my current wife has given me her best years, in the face of utilitarian love, I think we both get what we need, because I have spent a lot of money on her over the years. Facing the divorce, she asked me for one million, and I was a little unwilling to do so. The current wife also said: If I don’t give her one million, she will spend it with me. Me: Then just use it. Now, we have nothing to say, and she even often comes home late (probably because she has done something sorry for me). I want to ask: Do I want to cut the knot quickly?

Mu Zi Li Emotional analysis:

Regarding marriages with a large age span, more than 95% are because of money, and only 5% are because of the Electra complex or the Oedipus complex. Obviously, when your wife was with you, she thought you were rich. After marrying you, she could be guaranteed to live a life without worries about food and clothing. At that time, you were in good health and thought that exchanging wealth and sex was no big deal. But today, more than ten years later, will you still feel the same way? Now, facing your wife's indifference to you, you will definitely feel a little disappointed. This is because you are now at an age when you really need companionship, but your wife has begun to dislike you in various ways. Obviously, at her current age, she not only needs companionship, but also needs the nourishment of love. When you can't help her, she will have the idea of ​​​​leaving. My attitude is to let her go.

As for the breakup fee, if you really don’t need the money, give her one million, because she has made it clear that she doesn’t love you anymore. It doesn’t make much sense for you to spend money with her just because you don’t give her money. After all, she is spending money with you. In the process of sleeping, she will often come home late or even stay out at night. Her behavior is also painful for you. Or, because of her blind behavior, you feel that giving her the breakup fee will make you unwilling. Then gradually transfer your property while spending time with her, collect evidence of her cheating, and finally let her It’s almost like leaving the house clean. Life is a game, and no one can tell what will happen in the future. I believe that when you and your wife got married, you never thought it would end like this, right? Remember, at this age, everything is about your happiness.

In this life, people actually live for two things: one is money and the other is feelings. Regarding money, it needs to be determined by many factors such as ability, opportunity, family background, etc. As for relationships, just be clear about it. During this period, family affection and love are more able to affect our emotions. During this period, we often care about the young and not the old. After our parents pass away, we will leave behind regrets. In the field of love, we only need to have a clear conscience.After all, love does not exist by blood. Once the other person turns into a white-eyed wolf during the relationship, you will not be able to continue to be selfless in the relationship. Therefore, when betrayal occurs in love, you need to pay attention to the following things: 1) Let him go; 2) Guard your money bag.

Many people have such expectations when choosing a marriage partner: they hope that the original intention of two people getting together is out of love. What I want to say is that there is no pure love at all. The formation of love is the result of motives, but everyone's motives are different. Some want beauty, some want money, and some want you to be good to him. In fact, it doesn't matter what kind of marriage combination you have. The key is that after you get married, you should have a feeling of contentment and gratitude. When you have no disagreement with the other person, you should ensure your loyalty to the marriage and try your best to strive for a long life in this relationship. . However, some people live too selfishly and disdain the accumulation of family affection in this relationship. As long as the other party cannot satisfy their desires, they will find ways to withdraw from the relationship. In the face of those strong egoists, we can only admit that we are unlucky.

Regarding human nature, in fact, after a relationship, and through the accumulation of trivial matters in life, you can clearly see the other person's virtues. More often, people will have such thoughts: It is not easy to start a family, and they do not want their children to grow up in divorce. The family will comfort themselves and give tolerance. What I want to say is that when a person shows extreme selfishness in marriage, I think it is better to forget about the relationship. Because living with him is just a process of forbearance. Once the other person rides the donkey and finds a horse, even if you are willing to continue to be forbearing in this relationship, it is not ruled out that the other party will take the initiative to withdraw from you. Don't try to warm those who have incorrect views; don't try to influence those who are ungrateful.

Marriage is originally just a choice. Some people's performance during love is indeed remarkable. However, it takes many years after marriage for the fox's tail to show. What can you do at this time? It's just that the bad emotional experience really hurt me. In this case, you can only transfer your spiritual support to your children and money. Especially when you are old, you will find that it is very important to achieve financial freedom. Even if there is no lover around you at this time, at least your children and neighbors will still give you the most basic respect for the sake of money. I would like to remind all parents: When it comes to taking care of your children, you also need to leave some room for yourself. That room is a bargaining chip to not be looked down upon.

Editor's note:

Many times, kind-hearted people will feel like this: Although they have always been friendly in life, why can't they be treated favorably by the people around them? What I want to say is that those phenomena of not being treated favorably are the tribulations you need to overcome in this life. Only when you have completed all the things you have to bear and endure, will your life begin to calm down. During this period, what you gain most will definitely be peace of mind. Although some people are not punished by you, there will always be people who stand up to punish them.

We have to firmly believe that those selfish ghosts and white-eyed wolves in the emotional field will not end well in the end, because the ugliness shown in their human nature is often their greed and their bane. When they meet the person they want to be affectionate with but After the other party does not appreciate the person, it is their retribution that comes. Therefore, as long as you can live healthily, you can see the tragic fate of those who deserve retribution.

(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)