A letter from a reader said: I had been with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years, and finally I had enough disappointment and took the initiative to break up. It was my ex-boyfriend who I actively pursued for one reason: he was a handsome guy. I chased him for about 3 months before he ag

A reader’s letter said:

I had been with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years. Finally, I had enough disappointment and took the initiative to break up.

was my ex-boyfriend who I actively pursued for one reason: he was a handsome guy. I chased him for about 3 months before he agreed to be with me. After we got together, maybe because of my inferiority complex, I kept a tighter watch on him. In the first year of our relationship, he was relatively honest. But starting from the second year of our relationship, he often chatted with other women without telling me, and eventually developed into dating other girls without telling me.

I was caught doing this four times, and finally I got tired and broke up with him. At that time, my ex-boyfriend did not make any attempt to retain me. After

broke up, I also reached the age to get married. I met my husband through the introduction of relatives. Although my husband is not as handsome as my ex-boyfriend, he is still handsome. The point is, my husband is a relatively simple, slightly introverted man. There is no need for me to strictly monitor him, because he only has eyes for me. After dating my husband for half a year, we got married.

From the third month after my husband and I got married, my ex-boyfriend started to contact me nervously again. I repeat those words every time: He still loves me, he regrets it now, and he hopes that I can give him a chance to correct his mistakes.

If these words had been left out when we just broke up, I might have considered getting back together with him, but I am now married, and his confessional words, in my opinion, are extremely disgusting. During this period, I blocked his contact information, and he changed his phone number and continued to pester me. I need to admit that this incident has affected my husband and I emotionally: my husband is upset and I am tired.

would like to ask: How should you deal with such a shameless ex-boyfriend?

Muzi Li Emotional Analysis:

Let me make a digression, which is also related to being frequently harassed: Two or three years ago, when I was shopping, someone was posting an advertisement for a sea view room. At that time, I did have the idea of ​​buying a sea view house, so I called the number on the advertisement for consultation. In the next two or three years, I would receive frequent calls from different salespeople. At the beginning, I would politely tell them that I would not consider a sea view room. After a long time, I heard it was a salesperson calling, so I didn’t bother to explain and just hung up. To be honest, every time I hang up a similar phone call, I feel a little irritated, but there is no better way. It wasn't until I changed my mobile phone number that similar interruptions stopped happening.

After you break up with your ex-boyfriend and face his interruption, the current strategy you can adopt is to blacklist all the phone numbers he has called you. Every time you receive a strange call, you will hear that it is His voice doesn't require any explanation, just hang up and block him. The purpose of your doing this is simple: let him understand that you don't want to hear his voice or have any form of contact with him. You are no longer the woman who can show affection in front of him. You are so disappointed that you just want to focus on your married life with your husband. During this period, ignoring him is the best way to fight back. There is no need to argue or argue with him when you are in a state of rage because of this matter.

Your ex-boyfriend kept bothering you after you got married. At most, it had two purposes: 1) He got used to your kindness to him. After breaking up with you, he only encountered women who were stronger in front of him. Think of it. 2) He may have never considered marrying you from the beginning, so that he never showed the proper behavior in front of you during the relationship. passion, and when you broke up, he didn't make any attempt to retain you. It's just that you are married now, and he wants to rely on your love for him to develop a relationship with you. If he succeeds, At least he doesn't have to commit to you in a similar relationship, and he doesn't have to be responsible for you.

Obviously your ex-boyfriend is selfish. He has never thought about it. His frequent interruptions to you will cause trouble to you and make your husband feel uncomfortable. Fortunately, you were ruthless enough towards your ex-boyfriend, which made your husband feel helpless even though he was uncomfortable.For this reason, you should also have an attitude on this matter: when you are disturbed by your ex-boyfriend again in the future, do not take the initiative to mention this matter in front of your husband. If your ex-boyfriend disturbs you when your husband is by your side, after you hang up the phone, you only need to continue to block the disturbing phone number. During this period, if your husband asks who called you, If you call someone, just call them harassing calls.

A phenomenon often seen in the field of relationships: there are always some people who only want to have something again after losing it. No matter what the other person’s motivation is for getting back together, especially when you have already started a family, don’t have anything to do with the other person. Involvement of form. Usually, the disintegration of this relationship is basically the product of your disappointment. Even if you still have some place for the other person in your heart, you need to have this kind of self-suggestion for yourself: 1) If you continue to contact your ex, it is a blasphemy against your current relationship; 2) Be clear about the fact that nature is easy to change but hard to change. After all, during your relationship with your ex, you gave him many opportunities to make corrections, but he failed to take advantage of them. He deserves the breakup situation today.

would also like to remind those who did not cherish a relationship during the period of holding it and want to have it again after losing it: 1) If the person you let down is still single, you can shamelessly fight for the two people to get back together. possibility. If the other party accepts you again, don't think that as long as you want to have the other party, the other party will stand there waiting for you every time. Instead, cherish the lost and recovered feelings. If the other party is not willing to talk to you at all, I also hope that you will not continue to fight for each other in vain, which will only make the other person hate you even more; 2) If the person you let down now has a new love partner or is even married, you can also shamelessly fight for these two people. When it comes to the possibility of getting back together, if the other person is not willing to talk to you at all, you should completely withdraw from the other person's life. Even if you can't forget the other person, you have to let yourself get through it. This process is The process of repenting for not cherishing your feelings.

Editor's note:

Most people have had a love experience before getting married. You will definitely not forget this past tense, but you can do it when you mention your ex again as time goes by. It's innocuous, and you may even think that your ex is nonsense and normal. During this period, people who have been hurt in previous experiences are often unwilling to have anything to do with their exes, and those who were the wrathful party in previous experiences will find it hard to let go of their regrets.

would like to remind everyone that the best result of two people breaking up is because the two parties have different views. As a result, no matter how hard two people work together, it is difficult for each other to gain happiness, rather than because they do not cherish it and cause the relationship to disintegrate. . Those who owe a debt of conscience often end up with two consequences: 1) When their conscience is discovered, they punish themselves, mainly because of the psychological distress; 2) When they are with their current partner, they use the current partner and their ex to fight invisibly. When comparing, think about the goodness of your predecessor.

(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)