Only after loving someone deeply, can you realize that love has the power to reshape a person.
is like Faye Wong's " I Willing " sings : "I am willing to do it for you, I am willing to give up my name for you."
In love, we can give up some things and change ourselves for each other for the sake of the running-in between the two parties and the continuous emotional relationship.
This is indeed understandable, but changes are divided into changes in positive energy and negative energy. If you can keep improving and improving yourself, then why not do this change?
If this change drives you to the endless abyss, then you must refuse all this with absolute decisiveness and judgment before falling, no matter how much you love him.
Reject excessive dependence on him
No one can deprive a woman of independent rights , only we can do this.
Case: After graduating from university, my friend Aiyu returned to his hometown with her boyfriend, and her boyfriend found a very decent job in the local area.
So my boyfriend advised Aiyu not to go out to find a job. His salary is enough for two people, and it is more than enough, and the two people can have more time to spend together.
Aiyu agreed. The two of them had a good life at the beginning, but over time, Aiyu had no social circle in that strange city, and the only world was her boyfriend.
She became more and more closed, and her thoughts and insights were different from her boyfriend.
The two gradually drifted apart, and the conflict became increasingly greater, and in the end the two broke up. After wandering around this city with her luggage, Aiyu realized that she had nothing in this strange city.
Maybe the arms he stretched out towards you were out of love, but you should know that you should not use hormones to think in love, but should use your brain to weigh the trade-offs.
Do you have the ability to be independent enough to face the long life in the future?
Even if you love him deeply, you must learn to reject his excessive dependence. Only when you live your life wonderfully will he be attracted to you for a long time.
Reject to tolerance without bottom line
There is a saying on Zhihu that has very right: "I like you, but I know where your bottom line is, and I love you, but you also know where my bottom line is."
We appreciate each other because we understand each other's personalities and have the desire to know and fall in love with him. If you blindly tolerate yourself for his sake, you are giving up your original self.
mentions " Ode to Joy ", and many people should still be impressed by the character Qiu Yingying . But the character was not likable at the time.
Qiu Yingying is a simple and innocent girl, and it is not easy for them to work hard in big cities.
Qiu Yingying's second boyfriend Ying Qin proposed to break up with her because she disliked her having lived with someone else before. Qiu Yingying was also very painful because of this.
Then Ying Qin had a new love, but he relied on him very much. He couldn't stand this dependence and came back to find Qiu Yingying to get back together.
At this time, Ying Qin was still entangled with his girlfriend, but Qiu Yingying still chose to be with him again. As a result, Qiu Yingying was beaten to the hospital by Ying Qin's girlfriend.
Some people say that the reason why the character Qiu Yingying is annoying is because she is too real, and it is true that it is a point in us.
How many women keep giving up their bottom line after falling in love and doing something that makes people laugh and cry?
says that bystanders are clear, and those in the authorities are confused. If you feel that you have lost yourself in love, you might as well calm down and listen to the opinions of the people around you.
Think about what your tolerance and regression without bottom line can bring to this love. Only by having a transparent thinking and a rational brain can you stop your mistakes in a timely manner.
Reject endless dedication
Zhang Ailing said: "Fall in love with someone, your heart will always be low, low to the soil, and flowers bloom in the soil, so humble but so happy."
In addition to his own children, he may be the one who wants to give everything the most.
Psychologists investigated that in gender relationships, women are more likely to contribute more than men, and are more willing to increase their efforts to please each other.
The endless efforts arise from two backgrounds: conscious and active and invisible forced.
conscious and active dedication is like Bai Xuexi in "The Road of the Third Rate". For his boyfriend , he is reluctant to buy a dress for himself.
This invisibly causes great psychological pressure to his boyfriend, causing the intensification of the conflict between the two.
Invisible and passive dedication is more similar to the recently popular "striking artist", and one party in love is fixed The means and methods make the other party surrender to himself and dedicate to himself unconditionally.
No matter what the situation is, there will be certain problems. At the least, the two break up, and at the worst, there will be tragedy like Bao Li.
So, no matter how much you love him, don’t humbly seek his favor at the expense of yourself.
If he loves you sincerely, he must appreciate the self-love and happy you. If you feel that you have been giving without limits in the relationship between the two parties, then you must be alert and refuse decisively.
It is because you love each other deeply that some things must be paid attention to principles and bottom lines. Love that crosses the red line will only cause harm to each other in the end, and only rejection can prevent deeper pain in time.
