You can never wake up a person who pretends to be asleep, such as a man who knows cheating is wrong but pretends not to admit it.
There are still a majority of men like this. They don’t really know what extramarital affairs mean.
Extramarital affairs can ruin a marriage and cause their wives extreme pain, he knows very well.
But he just pretended not to know, and then asked his original wife, what's the big deal? Why did you make it so serious?
In the extramarital affairs cases that Lan Fang has handled before, this is the case of cheating men.
The original wife, Ms. Liu, and her husband have been married for twelve years, and her husband cheated on her for one and a half years.
Ms. Liu doesn’t want to get divorced because she has no job and two children.
At the same time, her parents-in-law were pretty good to her. They had always helped her take care of the children and provided financial subsidies.
had previously advised her not to divorce, saying that cheating men did not exist and they could live happily with their children.
Ms. Liu also felt that this was better for her children, so she never mentioned divorce.
But she is not willing to accept the existence of a mistress, let alone let a man cheat.
She has been looking for ways to solve extramarital affairs. Her focus is to make cheating men realize their mistakes.
She felt that because she did not want a divorce, cheating men did not know the consequences of extramarital affairs.
Because she wants to protect her children in front of them, she keeps quiet and doesn't make trouble, so the cheating man doesn't understand her pain.
So she would always send her children to her parents-in-law, quarrel with the cheating man, and then cry bitterly, saying how painful she was.
went to the mistress's residence alone, blocked the cheating man who was looking for the mistress, and made a scene in front of the mistress's house.
threatened the cheating man to go to the company to report the cheating man. She thought the cheating man would be afraid.
thinks that the cheating man can see her pain, realize that cheating is wrong, and slowly return to the family.
The reality is that cheating men find it annoying at first and say that their original spouse will make trouble, but then they ignore it and are indifferent to the original spouse's troubles.
Ms. Liu herself was a little tired. She wanted to completely resolve the extramarital affair, so she came to Lan Fang for help.
First of all, Lan Fang hopes that the first wives will have a clear understanding.
Don’t men know that cheating is wrong? Ms. Liu's parents-in-law are nice people and they are not people with bad views.
has also given them positive education since childhood. How could a cheating man not know about it?
He knows very well. He doesn't admit his mistake. It's not that he doesn't know that cheating is wrong, but he doesn't want to admit his mistake.
Because admitting a mistake means that he needs to change the mistake, otherwise he will know the mistake and not change it.
Compared with knowing his mistakes and not correcting them, a cheating man feels that it is more beneficial to him to pretend not to know his mistakes and not admit his mistakes.
So first wives, you don’t need to go to great lengths to make the cheating man feel that he is wrong.
This is something he already knows. He is a person who pretends to sleep, and you can't wake him up.
The original wife is also making trouble. The more threatening she is, the less likely the cheating man will admit his mistake.
Secondly, how should first wives deal with cheating men?
Original wife should learn to calm down and look at her situation.
Like Ms. Liu's situation, she didn't need to cheat on the man to continue her marriage.
Her parents-in-law were able to provide Ms. Liu with a living guarantee out of guilt or concern for their grandchildren.
But this guarantee is based on Ms. Liu not getting divorced.
In fact, what her parents-in-law did was to give the cheating man a way out for their son.
Ms. Liu can be grateful, but don't be too sincere.
After all, we are close relatives. If Ms. Liu wants to divorce her husband, her parents-in-law will most likely still support her son.
Therefore, Ms. Liu’s life is temporarily guaranteed, but this guarantee is not long-term and unstable.
Therefore, Lan Fang suggested that Ms. Liu start to accumulate her own strength.
Ms. Liu has time to trouble with a cheating man, so why not go find a mistress instead of finding a job?
Or make some investments and open some profitable shops with friends.
While improving yourself, you can also divert your attention, keep yourself busy, and ignore cheating men.
Many cheating men are relatively cheap. Their first wives surround the cheating men. Even if they quarrel with the cheating men all day long,
the cheating men will feel that their first wives value them and cannot live without them.
If the original spouse diverts attention and ignores the cheating man, they will instead pay attention to the original spouse.
Many men like to persuade their wives to become housewives before they plan to have an affair.
is to reduce the strength of the original wife and make the first wife rely on the cheating man. This is the capital of many men who cheat and do not repent.
Once the original wife is capable and does not need to rely on the cheating man, the cheating man will be the one who should be in crisis.
Finally, after the original wife has the ability, she will consider whether the marriage should continue.
Most of the first wives do not love cheating men and cannot live without them because they are financially dependent on them.
has no money, cannot support himself after divorce, and cannot raise children. This is the fundamental reason that affects the choice of the first wife.
So original partners, after you have the ability, you can choose again.
At this time, what you choose is truly based on your own heart.
If you still want to continue your marriage, then you can resolve the extramarital affair.
Now that you have the ability to divorce, you will be more confident in resolving extramarital affairs.
Moreover, a cheating man will be more afraid of his original wife because there is no gap between the two.
A cheating man is still at fault. A cheating man who has experienced the neglect of his first wife does not dare to be too arrogant.
As long as the original wife insists, cheating men will choose to return to their families.
At the end of the article, Lan Fang wants to say that for all women, whether you can solve an extramarital affair depends on your own strength.
Those women who are rich, powerful and capable will not live too badly if they don't turn around calmly after being cheated on.
Your real pain often comes from your own incompetence.
This may be cruel, but this is the reality. You have the ability, and a cheating man will not dare to offend you to cheat.
So compared to forcing the cheating man to admit his mistakes, or to compromise for money.
It is best for you to improve yourself, make yourself strong, make choices, and separate from your mistress.
If you encounter an extramarital affair and don’t know what to do, you can follow Lan Fang and chat about your situation via private message.
I am Lan Fang, an emotional mentor who tells the truth and does practical things.
