Have you experienced or seen widowed marriage ?
There is clearly a husband and a marriage relationship, but for some reason, we always feel that this kind of life is no different from the state when we were single.
Educating children is our own business, doing housework is also our own business, and everything in life is our own business.
The husband seems to be a transparent existence. We cannot find the other person's participation in the trajectory of our lives. We clearly have a husband, but we cannot feel the little bit of the beauty that our husband gives us.
also thought about escaping, and just living it like this, but real life has collapsed countless times, so I don’t know what to do.
So, what should I do when I encounter a widowed marriage? This article gives the answer from a psychological perspective.
1. What should I do if a middle-aged married woman confesses, widowed marriage?
readers are already middle-aged women. In her long marriage career, there are only a few happinesses that can be felt, and more of them are bored loneliness.
She has a husband, but it is no different from nothing.
When I was doing housework, my husband lazily lay on the bed and browsed Douyin and watched videos. He was also very tired from work, but even so, all the things at home need to be worried about inside and outside, and my husband is more like a transparent person.
has forgotten what it feels like to be tired, because in this long widowed marriage, readers have long lost expectations, do not expect their husbands to make a difference, and do not expect their marriage to become very happy.
More than
I was thinking countless times when it was late at night, what did marriage give me?
From the pearl in the palm of your parents to a yellow-faced woman who is not favored or favored by others’ homes, she will be restricted from doing many things, from being careless at home to being cautious at other people’s homes.
Marriage gives women more, and it seems that only unhappiness is the only thing.
What should I do if such a widowed marriage is?
2. What are the reasons for widowed marriages?
In fact, everything appears for a reason. When we see widowed marriages appear, we should think about what is the reason for it.
In the TV series " My First Half of Life ", Luo Ziqun is busy making a living all day long, and her husband Bai Guang is doing nothing at home all day, either playing games or sleeping.
After a busy day, Luo Ziqun returned home from get off work and dragged his exhausted body to clean up the messy home. At this time, her husband was still shouting and killing the game characters on his phone. This is already the case with
, and Luo Ziqun still has no complaints at all. She feels that her husband can make a comeback and make a difference, but his life is getting worse day by day.
At this time, it is not difficult for us to see that Luo Ziqun has paid too much in this family, so that Bai Guangxin is so comfortable that he is lazy.
In other words, Luo Ziqun's offside and the absence of white light led to the emergence of widowed marriage.
The principle is very simple, just like the group assignments that each of us did in our students.
If one person takes over a lot of things and does all the work, then the others in the group will be lazy and do nothing. Anyway, someone will do it for him and enjoy the results of his own. Why not do it?
The lack of men in marriage also thinks the same way. Anyway, the wife can handle everything and she can enjoy the fruits of her labor without paying anything. Why not do it?
Therefore, the reason for widowed marriages is actually more about women themselves.
3. How should we deal with widowed marriages?
Honey said: "Marriage should be an expression of love and responsibility for a lifetime. It is the promise of two people to keep dependence and companionship throughout their lives, and it is the wholehearted dedication between each other."
In other words, the essence of marriage has always been the affairs of two people, and what one person can manage is never love.
mentioned above that the reason for widowed marriage is the offside of women and the absence of men. So the key to turning this situation around is that we must cultivate a sense of family responsibility for men and bring men back.
Take housework as an example. We should not take care of it. When cleaning up the house, we should let men participate, even if it is just a simple garbage removal. The purpose is to make the other party feel involved, rather than wandering outside the family.
Then on this basis, we proceed step by step, letting the other party sweep the floor, mop the floor, and then tutor the children, step by step, enhancing the man's sense of family responsibility.
consciousness guides actions. The concept of family needs to be slowly cultivated to make men realize that they are a member of the family. To achieve this goal, women need to be "lazy", not so capable, and not so diligent.
Marriage is a matter between two people, and its essence and law of getting along is cooperation. Therefore, widowed marriage is not a difficult problem. As long as we take the right approach, we can reverse this situation.
