When will it be the most difficult day for the elderly?
Most people think that after retirement, the elderly will enjoy happiness and there will be no hard life. Because at that time, the old people did not have to do anything. They received a pension every month and could do whatever they wanted. They were very free and at ease.
Some middle-aged people who are entering the sixth grade will feel that the elderly in their 50s and 60s are the most difficult to endure, because they are facing two major difficulties at that time. First, they have to sacrifice their retirement time to help their children take care of their children and work as free nannies for their children. ; The second is to serve the elders in their old age and experience the life and death of their relatives.
But the elderly people who are over 60 years old feel that the most difficult time in life is after the age of 65! Why do elderly people have a harder time than before after the age of 65? A 70-year-old Aunt Wang expressed her true feelings: " I thought that after 30 years of hard work and ten years of family constraints after retirement, I would be happy for the rest of my life." Peace. Unexpectedly, after I turned 65, I realized that the most difficult days were yet to come! " Let’s listen to Aunt Wang’s story about her later years.
From Aunt Wang’s self-report:
I am 70 years old, retired for 15 years, and my wife passed away for 14 years.
When I was still working, I felt that the work was too hard. I had to get up early every day and stay late at night. When I got home, I had to take care of all the things at home and outside the home. I felt like I was not rushing forward. It was repeated day after day. From a young girl to a middle-aged yellow-faced woman, I have sacrificed a lot of good time and wasted a lot of opportunities and impulses.
Therefore, I was eager to retire at that time, thinking that after retirement, I would be able to completely liberate myself and live the life I longed for. Receive a pension and travel with your wife, go to the beach for vacation, or live a warm world for two.
However, when I reached the age of retirement at the age of 55, all my expectations were dashed. To be more specific, at the age of 53, I have no hope of life after retirement. Because my son got married and married a daughter-in-law from another province. She knew nothing about anything and was just a young lady who had nothing to do with anything. Before I retired, I was still clamoring for me to go over and cook for them every weekend.
Moreover, they planned to have a baby based on my retirement time. Therefore, as soon as I retired, my son and daughter-in-law hired me to work as a free nanny. First, I took care of their basic needs, and later, I took care of my daughter-in-law’s childbirth and childbirth. , confinement, and then I took care of the baby.
In the first year after my retirement, my time was fully occupied. When my daughter-in-law was eight months pregnant, I originally wanted to ask my biological mother to come over and take care of her. After all, it is better for a woman to have a baby and be taken care of by her mother-in-law. This is also the custom here. As a result, my daughter-in-law was very pretentious, saying that my mother-in-law was not in good health, and that she was busy with what she was doing every day, so it was not convenient for her to come over. In fact, my mother-in-law was 4 years younger than me. She stopped working many years ago and was a housewife at home, so she had a lot of free time. To die.
I am very helpless. I want to leave my son’s house and have no chance to live my own life. What makes me even more sad is that since I live at my son's house for a long time and my wife is still at work, we are living apart in different places. We only contact each other by phone every day and rarely see each other. Unexpectedly, being separated like this for more than a year seemed ordinary, but it became the biggest regret of my life.
When I was 57 years old, my wife suddenly fell ill and had a headache for more than half a month, but he didn't tell me. After I found out through the phone that he was not in good condition, I asked him to go to the hospital for a check-up, and then I bought a ticket and flew back. . However, when I returned home, my wife's condition had worsened. She had a cerebral infarction and had symptoms of hemiplegia and hemiplegia.
That's it, I stay and serve my wife. It was a painful time to serve my wife. I had to stay with my wife every day, carry him feces and urine, and give him massages to keep him awake at all times. I always hoped in my heart that there would be a miracle, but my wife endured it for two years. Many, eventually left me.
My wife’s death from illness makes me very sad. I feel guilty for him and have always been worried about him. If I had stayed with my wife from the beginning and paid attention to his health at all times, maybe I would not have such a condition. My wife He won't just leave like this.
The year my wife left, I was 60 years old, and Yanran had become an old woman. But I am still full of hope for life. I feel that I have experienced everything that needs to be experienced, and I will get through the hard times, and my good old age will follow. Unexpectedly, my daughter-in-law gave birth to a second child. Originally, Dabao went to school, so I could worry less, but then Xiaobao came again, and my freedom was forcibly taken away by my daughter-in-law. It turned out that I had already adapted to living alone in my hometown. , was also interrupted in this way.
However, I was very clear-eyed at that time. After all, raising a baby would only take two or three years. When Xiaobao turns 3 and goes to kindergarten and Dabao goes to elementary school, adults don’t need to worry about it. My daughter-in-law can take care of her alone. coming. And I can be completely liberated and return to my own home to enjoy my retirement.
When I was 65 years old, I left my son’s house as I wished. After returning to my hometown to live alone, I realized that all the hardships in the past were nothing. The most difficult days were after I turned 65.
I started living alone at the age of 65. At that time, I thought that I was completely free. I had a house, savings, and a monthly pension of more than 4,000 yuan. I didn’t have to worry about food and drink, and I could go wherever I wanted. However, as I got older, I became powerless. I thought about going to square dance to exercise and pass the time, but I sprained my waist within a few days of dancing. I had to lie down at home for more than half a month before I felt better.
I was thinking about traveling, but as a simple-minded person with strong limbs, I was deceived many times and spent a lot of unjust money on a bunch of health products and specialty products. I was very happy when I bought it, but when I got home and found that it had no effect, I couldn't sleep for several days, and I didn't dare to tell my son, so I could only suffer in silence.
wanted to learn from others and find a man to partner with for the rest of his life, but it turned out to be another struggle. I made several friends. They either treated me as a free nanny, treated me as a temporary guest, or tried to cheat me out of money. Emotionally, not many men want to live a sincere life. Finally, after I was heartbroken by a man, I chose to go back to my son's house to live. I felt that it was more comfortable where I had family.
I used to think that there were two little grandsons at home, and they were lively and happy. But in the blink of an eye, they grew up. One is in junior high school and the other is in elementary school. They are no longer the same as they used to be, with grandma in front of them and grandma in front of them every day. Even though they live in the same house, there is no sense of intimacy. After they come home from school one by one, they always go to their own rooms, either doing homework or picking up their mobile phones to play games. I wanted to spend more time with them, but what I got in return was ruthless expulsion.
The grandson has become like this, and the son and daughter-in-law have also become indifferent. When I helped take care of my children, they were very filial to me. They would often buy me this and that, and they would express their gratitude one after another. However, now that my children have grown up, my role has become smaller and I have become frail and sickly, and my son and daughter-in-law have begun to dislike me. No matter what I do in this family, they will always get impatient. My daughter-in-law always dislikes my cooking, which is getting worse and worse, and my clothes can never be washed clean. My son complains that I spend money like water and my monthly expenses are huge. , it’s all my fault, even if I say a few nice words about caring about them, it will be regarded as nagging and long-winded.
Actually, I know that these are their helplessness, because the work pressure of young people and the generation gap between the two generations will become conflicts between us. But I know that this is helpless and useless. In my later years, my mentality has become very sensitive. Whenever I have grievances, there will always be mixed feelings in my heart, and they will accumulate more and more, making it difficult to let go.
Now I am 70 years old and have returned to my son's home for more than two years. In these two years or so, I have not enjoyed much, but have endured a lot of sadness and sadness. Every day during the day, they go to work and go to school, and in the end I spend it alone. I want to go outside to kill time, but the bustling and bustling world outside is no longer suitable for me. But staying in a quiet and peaceful home is full of loneliness. This ordinary life day after day seems warm and happy, but to me It has also become a torture.
Even if there is no serious illness, it makes my life so uncomfortable, so I don’t know what my son and daughter-in-law will do to me when illness occurs in the future, and how difficult my life will be?
Conclusion:
It is really not easy for people to reach their old age! Everyone thinks that retirement is the best time, but only after experiencing it will we know that retirement is the beginning of our pain. Some people may find joy in suffering, but they are also full of sadness and sorrow. Because at this time in old age, especially after the age of 65, most of the children around them have entered middle age. In order to live and work, they always lack companionship and gratitude to the elderly. Sometimes they will dislike the elderly after getting along for a long time. and incomprehension. In the end, the old man was wronged and felt that his efforts were not well rewarded, and his fragile heart would feel uncomfortable.
Therefore, I hope that the majority of children will learn to put themselves in their shoes, understand the difficulties of their parents when they get old, stop venting bad emotions on their parents, and be more considerate of their parents. Then while your parents are around, you should spend more time with them and be more grateful. This companionship does not need to be too long, and your gratitude does not need to be too ostentatious, but you must have it.
also hopes that every old person should have an open mind. A person's life is always bitter and a little sweet. No one can live a sweet life all his life. Especially in our later years, there will always be grievances and sufferings. We should be open-minded and don’t think too much about bad things. Live your own life and be happy is the most important thing.
