01
Contemporary families are facing two problems. The first problem is that children need to empty out their family fortune, or even six wallets, before they can afford to get married. The second problem is that parents are getting older and cannot afford to take care of them. The two problems
seem to have nothing to do with each other, but in fact, they are both "matching" problems. As long as one problem arises, the other problem will also highlight a sharp contradiction.
For example, if the children want to get married, then they have to spend money. With the wages of contemporary young people, it is good to be able to support themselves on a daily basis, so why talk about getting married?
At this time, in order to help their children get married, parents need to bear a mountain of pressure and contribute money and effort, basically not even taking care of themselves.
In the end, it took a lot of effort for the children to get married, and the parents spent most of their life savings to stabilize their children. Both generations lived in a particularly miserable state.
In fact, the relationship between marriage and retirement is closely linked. Precisely because both generations have their own needs and expectations, neither generation lives happily enough. Of course, the root cause of this is still related to the pressure of life.
I can only say that children spend all their money to get married, and parents have no money to support themselves in old age. This is a "lose-lose" family trend.
02
The reasons why children spend their family money to get married are related to these three reasons.
First of all, young people cannot afford to buy a house, a car, or even a bride price.
Houses and cars, these are modern necessities. Generally speaking, if you don’t have a house or a car, I believe you are not even qualified to enter a blind date venue, let alone get married.
A study shows that 57% of the reasons why contemporary young people are afraid of marriage are related to houses.
In order to get married and have children, in order to start a family, young people have no choice but to spend money on their family, or even make the whole family bear loans to buy a house and get married.
Secondly, young people’s wages are average and prices are constantly rising. Some people are still in the predicament of "unemployment upon graduation".
When they first came out of college, young people felt that they could do something big. But the reality will tell them that the job is 996, the salary is five to six thousand, moonlight is the norm, and there is not much money in a year. This makes people feel sad.
At this time, who can they rely on? You can only rely on your parents. Parents, after all, must bear the responsibility of providing support for their children.
Third, in the marriage market, prices are gradually increasing, exceeding ordinary people's expectations.
One reality is that in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, there are very few young people who can afford to get married. Generally speaking, Guangdiao and Beipiao basically cannot afford to get married. Because they can't even enter the marriage market in big cities.
In order to enter the marriage market, millions of dollars are necessary. Other second-tier cities also have this problem.
03
Parents have no money to support themselves in old age. The key is that there are too many problems with "children".
When middle-aged and elderly people reach a certain age, they will naturally think about a question-why have I worked hard all my life, but still haven’t saved any money in the end?
When we figure out the causes and consequences, we will understand that it is not that we have worked hard all our lives to save money, but that our money has been dedicated to our children.
It’s okay for a family with one child. At least you only need to donate once, that’s it, and you can still have some money left. However, if there are two children in the family, then we basically have no money for retirement.
In the first-tier cities of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, there are many indigenous people. They basically don’t have to worry about marriage or old age. Because they have enough houses and money to cope with the risks of life.
However, for ordinary people who do not have houses and money, what can they do? Either ignore the children and let them choose their own way out, or empty the coffin book and directly overdraw money in their later years.
Looking at the overall situation, there are too many middle-aged and elderly people who have to take on loans again in their old age. They just hope that their children can live a happier life. In the end, neither generation lived happily enough.
Therefore, marriage and retirement are happy things for rich people. For ordinary people, it is a disaster.
04
Why do lose-lose families appear?
As mentioned above, children need to spend all their money to get married, and parents need to spend all their money to help their children realize their wish to start a family and start a business. As a result, the parents can only suffer.
Another problem is that young people who need help from their parents to get married still have no ability to support their children after giving birth. There is no way, "gnawing at the old" needs to continue.
At this stage, a new trend of nibbling on the elderly has emerged - draining parents' wallets before marriage, and requiring parents to become free nannies after marriage.
Is this really a problem for children? In fact, this is a problem of life stress.
Children need 996. Maybe they don’t even have time to rest, so parents can only become free nannies. Children can't make much money, so parents can only support their children.
What's more, today's pension costs are getting higher and higher, and the elderly themselves are also in trouble. At this time, children and parents, there is a generation that needs to make concessions. And the only ones who give in are the parents.
Here, I still have to say that young people are not wrong, and parents are not wrong either. What is helpless is just the trend of "all things are involution".
Giving young people more tolerance and giving more care to the elderly is what we need to do. That's all.
text/Shu Shan Youlu
