01
What is an open marriage?
In short, it means that both parties have reached a consensus that after a man and a woman get married, they can live an intimate life freely without interfering with, disturbing or restricting each other. No matter how far they develop with other people, their marital relationship remains the same.
sounds a bit weird, right?
Entered into marriage to be responsible for feelings, and now chooses to pursue maximum freedom during the marriage relationship. This is inherently contradictory.
But there are not many relationships where "loyalty" and "betrayal" coexist.
The recent online drama " Forensic Qin Ming " has become popular. Because it focuses on many topics worthy of discussion at the moment, such as generation, PUA, and open marriage, it has frequently been on hot searches recently and triggered heated discussions.
Today, Uncle Jiang will talk to you about open marriage, the third case in the play.
"One is a fashion editor, and the other is a violinist. On the surface, they are a model couple. In fact, they fall apart. The husband cheats on her with a mistress during marriage, and the wife dates her lover at home. In the end, both lose..."
The above is what Uncle Jiang wants to talk to you about today. It tells the key words of an emotional tragedy, the irrationality of their emotional state, and the sadness of their endings.
is not very sad.
Picture source: Screenshot of "Forensic Qin Ming: The Mind Reader", invaded and deleted
Zheng Hao and Luo Qi have been married for many years. Because they are both in the spotlight, their marriage has also attracted much attention.
One is a leader in the fashion industry, and the other is a famous violinist. Their combination, the harmony of the piano and the harp, has always been regarded as a legend.
But this kind of harmony is just the side they want everyone to see. In fact, they have long been in a state of "each playing his own game."
They have been married for 10 years, and her husband Zheng Hao has cheated on her five times, but they were all casual affairs, and his wife Luo Qi did not really take it to heart.
Picture source: Screenshot of "Forensic Qin Ming: The Mind Reader", invaded and deleted
Until stewardess Zhang Yuchen appeared, Zheng Hao not only had a one-night stand with her, but also fell in love with her completely, which led to the idea of divorce.
02
On the other side, Luo Qi is not absolutely loyal to marriage. She is obviously married, but she never stops having close relationships with men. She even brings these men home, and it doesn't matter if her husband sees her.
There is no loyalty at all between them. They are just a superficial couple. However, Luo Qi's possessiveness and her paranoia in relationships made her never think about letting go.
She used an earlier lover who loved her so much to make Zhang Yuchen leave completely. Later, she chose to leave her husband Zheng Hao after his lover still filed for divorce even though his lover was no longer around.
Of course, they were rescued at the last moment, but Luo Qi's paranoid possession of Zheng Hao caused many people to think deeply.
She is obviously not loyal in marriage, right? But her final explanation for all her crazy actions was that "she loves Zheng Hao, and even though she knows he no longer loves her, she still loves her."
Picture source: Screenshot of "Forensic Qin Ming: The Mind Reader", intrusion and deletion of
sounds contradictory, right? While looking for a lover, talk about love. But in fact, there is an "agreement" between Luo Qi and Zheng Hao, an agreement on "open marriage".
They agreed with each other that there are at least two principles that cannot be violated in their married life:
First, no matter who they are with outside, they cannot live separately and must return to the common home;
Second, they will Give each other the greatest degree of physical freedom, but the soul must be loyal to each other to the end.
It is obvious that in their story, Zheng Hao first violated the latter and then attempted to violate the former.
Picture source: Screenshot of "Forensic Qin Ming: The Mind Reader", infringement and deletion
But there was a reason for Zheng Hao's violation. He was a violinist, but his hand was injured, and he could no longer play the piano. .
He needs Luo Qi's care and comfort because his body and career have been severely damaged, but Luo Qi knows nothing about his plight.
The emergence of Zhang Yuchen just filled this gap.
Therefore, it is not difficult to understand Luo Qi's later fear, because she clearly felt that Zhang Yuchen was very much like her when she was young, and Zheng Hao did not simply like her, but wanted to live together.
So, their problem still lies in "love", right? It's because of their confident "love mode".
In fact, open marriage is difficult to achieve, as Huan Huan said in the play:
"Marriage means bondage, openness means freedom, the two are contradictory."
03
But in this world, there are many "Everyone wants to gain something, but in the end both will lose."
In the movie "Permission", the heroine Anna and the hero Will were originally a couple looking forward to a happy marriage, but because they tried an open relationship, they ended up becoming strangers.
Anna is a talented girl in the music department. She is about to graduate while preparing her thesis and looking forward to her boyfriend's proposal.
Will is the owner of a wood furniture store. He has been in love with his girlfriend for many years. He is putting all his efforts into building the home he shares with his girlfriend, while carrying his proposal over and over again.
They are each other's first love, and they hope to successfully marry each other hand in hand.
Originally, their stability and happiness were foreseeable, but because of their deepest curiosity and a few questions from others, everything quietly changed.
At Anna's birthday party, Will was about to propose, but at this critical moment, a friend's unintentional joke made the couple listen to their hearts:
"You have never tried anyone else, so how can you be sure of each other?" Which one is the most suitable pair? "
Picture source: Screenshot of the movie "Permission", infringement and deletion
You can't say a word to wake up the dreamer, but it does make this couple want to try.
Later, the intimate couple discussed an unreasonable decision: allowing each other to have sex with others.
did this just in the hope that they could experience other people before getting married and not leave any regrets in life.
And they firmly believe that: they are different from others, their true love can trump everything, and they will be together forever.
Next, they began their own "experience journey". Anna met a man who played music in the bar, and Will also got together with a mature and passionate woman.
After they have become intimate with others, they will exchange their experiences together. They think that such frankness will not affect their original relationship, but they forget that feelings are the most able to withstand the test and the least able to withstand the test. .
They all developed feelings for their P friends. Although they stopped their development in time, once their love was given to others, the relationship between the original lovers would deteriorate.
So they parted ways later because their love had deteriorated and could never go back.
Picture source: Screenshot of the movie "Permission", infringement and deletion
Xing and love are always inseparable, because no one can guarantee that they will not fall in love with the person they have had a relationship with. Emotions are the most uncontrollable, and even firm commitments and mutual agreements are of no use.
04
Actor Will Smith and actor Jada have publicly discussed their views on "open marriage" many times.
Smith once said: "I have no objection to Jada being with other men." Jada also responded publicly at the time that Smith could do whatever he wanted.
And Jada also publicly stated on the show: "I and Will have been married for more than ten years, and they have had an open marriage. This is also the reason why our marriage has lasted so long."
Because the concept is advanced, because the form is different, because The superficial results exceeded expectations. At first, many people really thought their open marriage was successful.
It wasn’t until 2020 that Jada was revealed to have cheated on a friend of her 21-year-old son during marriage. When the couple responded publicly, everyone learned the truth.
It turned out that Jada and her husband Smith were already separated at the time, and their marriage had long existed in name only.
Picture source: Screenshot of the movie "Permission", invaded and deleted
So, from Luo Qi and Zheng Hao, who were both hurt in the end, to Will and Anna, who gave up their relationship for many years, to Smith and Jada, who almost divorced, they used their own Experience has proved the same thing:
The world of two people can never accommodate a third person, let alone a fourth or fifth person.
The prerequisite for a long-lasting intimate relationship is loyalty. An open relationship, on the other hand, is one that violates loyalty under the guise of "being honest with each other." The long-term outcome is almost doomed.
And if you analyze it more deeply, you will find that the so-called "open relationship" is just a high-sounding excuse for your own desires. Because you are not satisfied with having only one partner in a long-term marriage, you agree to find someone else.
But there is a word called "desire is hard to satisfy". Once desire is not controlled, it is difficult to be truly satisfied. Therefore, the final result of "open marriage" is that only "openness" is left, and "marriage" is completely lost. ".
Therefore, choosing one person to live forever is the romance of marriage.
Light up [Watching] , I wish you a long life, wish you peace, wish to enjoy the present, and wish to cherish the people in front of you.
Best wishes.
