"Speak well" gives a useful method: Use choices to reduce the other party's resistance .
For example, if the wife wants her husband to help with housework, if she just says: Look at you, she doesn't do anything at home all day. Don't you know if you can help me wash dishes and mop them down the floor? Are homes my own home?
This complaining way of communication not only does not make the husband willing to work, but will instead cause a quarrel or deal with it sloppyly without any worries.
But if you change the method and use a free choice method to display it, you can say this: Do you know how to wash dishes here, mop the floor at a time, or mop the floor now, and wash dishes at a time.
knowledge in this way of choosing freely, at least you will choose to do the same thing at the lowest level. People are wonderful. If you communicate by complaining or rebuking, you will have instinctive resistance.
seems to mean giving in, but no one likes giving in.
At this time, you can use the "freedom of choice" method to tactfully find a communication method that both parties can accept, and avoid the yes or no, accepted or not.
Turn "right and wrong questions" into "multiple-choice questions". Using can be used to create a "sense of freedom", which can greatly reduce the other party's resistance.
Use it to be able to speak and get along with interpersonal relationships
It says whatever you think in your heart. It looks very straightforward, but it is easy to offend people and will also make your interpersonal relationships very tense.
The heart follows me, although it is to follow my inner wishes, but if my words are unblocked, or if my inadvertent words hurt others, it will only make interpersonal relationships worse and worse.
There is a saying: Self-discipline gives me freedom .
If you just focus on the freedom of your ego and ignore the other person's feelings, it will only make your interpersonal relationships narrower and narrower. Maybe others will not say anything on the surface, but they will gradually become distant from you.
People with good interpersonal relationships are not the ones who speak the most, but every word can be said to the other person's heart and make the other person feel happy. This is advanced self-discipline.
Think about it, those people in life who have bad connections and popularity are mostly defeated by their "big mouths":
- When you are in a bad mood, you will complain and complain;
- When you have emotions, you will say anything without thinking;
- Once you hear something that is not good for you, you will immediately turn your back on it, and you will say something ugly.
To put it nicely, he has a bad temper and a straight personality, but in fact he just can't speak. He said a lot of things not only did not solve the problem, but also made his reputation lose.
If you want to have good interpersonal relationships, the most important thing is to keep your mouth under control, think carefully about everything before speaking. For example, if you can say something or not, don’t say something negative energy is not easy, and spread more positive energy is more common.
conveys positive and positive power to more people. Only such people will be popular and ultimate self-discipline.
is more popular than being able to speak
is able to speak, not to say that one should use some scheming or using routines, but to use empathy to achieve smoother communication. People who can speak will not only have more opportunities, but also be more welcome. There are three main reasons:
First of all, people who can speak will not use their own likes and dislikes as standard, nor will they indulge their emotions, but instead think before and after, giving others more choices as much as possible. This will make the other party happy to change, otherwise even if you surrender on the surface, you will be resistant in the heart;
Secondly, people who can talk do not need to make any changes in their behavior, they only need to adjust the way they speak.Switch "I think" to the other party's "optional".
In the eyes of others, you can consider it from his perspective. This is the respect and attention of him. Naturally, the relationship will be more harmonious when communicating;
Finally, being able to speak is not to dig pits or trick others, but to stand on the other party’s perspective with an altruistic heart and sincerely express concern and understanding.
People's hearts are full of flesh, and the kindness and respect you express in your words will be treated the same way.
You should know that the human brain needs to understand more than the communication needs. Only by paying attention to the other party and considering the problem from the other party's perspective can we be at the same frequency in communication.
Knowing does not mean understanding, and talking too much does not mean being able to speak. How to say it is better than what to say, the same thing may be a world of difference because of different ways of expression.
To a certain extent, being able to speak is a kind of advanced self-discipline. Only a person who can control his emotions can have rational thinking and look at problems objectively, but not venting emotions.
A person who can't control his mouth and a person who cannot control his emotions cannot have self-discipline, let alone self-discipline.
There is a sentence in "The Road No One Walks": The premise of self-discipline is love.
Love has two meanings: one is to love yourself, and the other is to respect and understand others. Only by loving others and loving yourself can you have true self-discipline and freedom.
