The most interesting and practical psychology for working every day
There is a short story in " Quran ". A bad guy died and the messenger came to pick him up. He was very scared and thought he would go to hell.
When he woke up, he found himself in a colorful world with a follower inside. The follower said to him: There is everything you want here, you can enjoy it at will, and of course you don't have to pay any price.
The bad guy was so happy that he immediately greedily satisfied his desires. As a result, after a while, the person began to feel bored.
He ran to ask his attendant if there was anything he could do. The attendant told him: No! The bad guy was very disappointed and then began to lose control and even despair. He roared, if heaven is so boring, then I would rather go to hell. The attendant laughed and said: Do you think this is heaven? This is hell.
What is the best way to ruin someone? There was a highly praised answer on Zhihu: Satisfy all his desires
Just as Maslow’s needs theory explains, when people’s basic needs are satisfied, they may become bored, purposeless, and rogue in every possible way.
Only when we fight for what we lack, in the process of being full of hope, we accumulate our strength and fight for the desire in our hearts, the dopamine produced in this process will make us feel real. Happiness.
That is to say, only when people set practical goals, and in the process of thinking repeatedly and working hard for them, will the dopamine secreted by the brain make people happy. Similarly, if the final goal is achieved, dopamine will be secreted again. Dopamine gives people a strong sense of accomplishment and happiness.
However, dopamine will produce a feeling of excitement in a short period of time. Just like a couple in love, the secretion of dopamine in the body reaches the maximum in the first 3 to 6 months of the relationship. This period is the most extreme period for the young couple. In this state, they are inseparable from each other, which is the "passionate love period".
However, the human body cannot adapt to the presence of large amounts of dopamine for a long time.
Scientific investigation found that after 15 months, the dopamine in the lover's body gradually decreased, and the relationship between the two began to enter a dull period, which later led to the "grave" of the marriage, the seven-year itch, etc.
The initial love between lovers turns to boredom - because 's strong dopamine is secreted in the human body for a long time, people's subconscious will produce a kind of resistance, so that the individual will feel tired, bored or even painful.
Only when people have an enterprising heart, constantly improve themselves and improve their personality, can they be happy.
As Harvard positive psychology professor Seligman has studied, people cannot succeed and achieve all their goals in life all at once. On the contrary, people grow in a ladder-like manner.
presents a spiral in the process of continuous failure. The most successful people in the world are often the ones who fail the most. Only in this way can we ensure that dopamine in our brains is secreted regularly instead of unrestricted secretion for a long time. .
If a person realizes his dream all at once, then his life will lose the meaning of struggle. The meaning of life always lies in the process. In different processes, people gain the happiness of hard work.
Research shows that a state of satisfaction does not necessarily guarantee a happy, satisfying state. The truly happy state is actually an unresolved state. People can continue to solve problems or create problems.
Finland has monopolized the first place in "happiness" and is known as the happiest country in the world. In the rankings of more than 100 countries, it ranks first in happiness, but it is such a happy country. , the suicide rate is very high, and the proportion of people suffering from depression is also very high.
In addition to the general social environment, people are puzzled. In fact, The high suicide rate among Finns is closely related to people's desires and appeals. The Finns have done a good job in welfare protection.
For more than 100 years, the stubborn comfort-oriented society has been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, so much so that every Finn takes it for granted. For example, each of them has a month of summer vacation, an open culture, sound social security, paid vacations, and 90% of People don’t have mortgage pressure.
The first house has no down payment and provides almost full loan and other benefits. If these things happened to Chinese people, in popular words, their feet would be on the ceiling, and they would live and die without regrets.
But the Finns have been like this for generations. They have long been accustomed to it and do not feel happy because of it! On the contrary, some " wealth diseases " and psychological problems have arisen.
There is no harm without comparison. The Finnish people have no idea how busy and tired people in some countries are. They also don’t know that sometimes things they can get by just moving their fingers require others to work hard for for a lifetime,... ..When people’s desires are easily satisfied, people will not be able to find the meaning of life, and naturally they will not be happy.
Therefore, the best way for to destroy a person is to satisfy him with everything and make him lose the motivation to fight and gradually become bored and negative.
To put it another way, there are always various crises in our daily lives. Some people encounter financial crises, some encounter workplace crises, and some encounter emotional crises. The above three crises are the most common in our lives. Crisis makes us feel painful, anxious, confused, and not sure what to do.
Because people always like a comfortable life, a stable job, a stable relationship, and a stable life. But in fact, if all crises are eliminated one day, people may not be happy.
Crisis is not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it is a good thing. It will stimulate us to generate some strength, stimulate my fighting spirit, and make us more motivated.
As the saying goes: It is easy to go from frugality to luxury, but it is difficult to go from luxury to frugality. Because a person has nothing, he has a sense of crisis in his heart, so he is positive and works hard, fearing that he will be eliminated by society, but if he gets what he wants, he will lose it. If you lose the sense of crisis, you will become a frog boiled in warm water and lose the motivation to fight.
The biggest disaster in life is "indulgence".
Desire is like a rubber band. Only when the force is exerted within the appropriate range can it show its original beauty. If it is used too hard, it will be on the verge of danger.
- The End -
author | Tommy
editor | No Rain
first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018) . Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205
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