In real life, we often hear the following complaints:
"Son, will you take the exam for Tsinghua or Peking University in the future?"
"I studied programming in college, and now I do sales. My major is not right. You have been in vain for four years in college."
"I am born to be unfamiliar with mathematics, and I will never become a mathematician in this life!"
"Either go back to the small town of 18th tier, or stay in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen?"
These complaints and entanglements have made us fall into endless troubles. As mentioned on the Internet, worries also come from ignorance, and the mind is empty, so the pockets are empty! Today, when I read the book, the author summarized it while explaining the source of these troubles, and I felt it was very appropriate. If we want to live without being tired, we must break the deadlock in our minds!
The reason why we are tired of living is because we have created a pair of cages for ourselves and painted ourselves into prisons. Also, each of us reads to live in different implicit assumptions constructed by ourselves. These implicit assumptions are hidden deep in the minds of many people, and are quite universal and deeply troubled us. If they can be found out in advance, more people can be prevented from happening in life difficulties in advance. To this end, I have summarized four typical implicit assumptions about life choices:
The first typical implicit assumption is the "track assumption". The saying "Don't let your child lose at the starting line" is a reflection of the track assumption. Those who secretly agree with the hypothesis of the track believe that life is a long race, the competition is set, and there are very few winners. So they are prone to anxiety about competition and fear of failure. They may not try or try or make mistakes because they are afraid of failure. They can only run tremblingly and step by step on a track solidified by the outside world, like an old donkey pulling a mill, tied to the millstone for the rest of their lives.
The second implicit assumption is the "low association assumption". Those who secretly agree with this assumption believe that the various experiences in life are independent of each other and have no connection. For example, many people learned to draw when they were young, but never painted again when they grew up. They would not think that these basic paintings are very helpful for using visual thinking in the workplace. As Jobs said in his famous speech at Stanford University , life is a process of connecting dots into lines. Some experiences may not see its meaning at the beginning, but they may play their unique role in a few years.
The third implicit assumption is the "fixed mindset" mentioned in psychology. People who secretly agree with this assumption will look at their own abilities with a fixed perspective, many of which will think that they are not talented enough or have a mediocre IQ, so when they encounter some setbacks, they will naturally feel relieved and lose the courage to continue working hard. In contrast, people with this mind believe that intelligence and talents can continue to grow through hard work, so they are not afraid of short-term failures. Instead, they will become more and more courageous. Such people can often achieve higher achievements.
The fourth implicit assumption is " zero-sum game ". People who secretly agree with the zero-sum game assumption tend to compete for benefits from others in the competition between people, and rarely conceive a win-win solution. The most common thinking model is: either... or... In response to this thinking, Stephen Covey, the author of "High-Effective People's Seven Habits ", has specially written a book "HTM2 No. 3 Choice ", advocating that in addition to "your method" and "my method", we should strive to find a "our method". Through this "third choice", the two parties involved can achieve synergy and win-win results. Build a new thinking framework, explore new possibilities, and turn "your" and "mine" into "our"!
May we all break free from the constraints of our thinking, live our own lives and live our wonderful lives!
