Author/Xiaozhi
Last night, I saw a girl on the Internet. She posted a question like this. The main idea was: She recently went on a blind date with a boy. The conversation was not bad at first, and she also had a crush on him. But when they met for the first time, the boy started touching her, which made her feel uncomfortable.
She declined.
Later, the boy also apologized to her after he returned, saying that he had no other intentions and just liked her too much, so he did some bad behavior.
At this time, the girl was in a dilemma because of her original good feelings. She wanted to know: Is this boy reliable?
Actually, after reading it, I was quite confused. I thought why this girl would be so entangled in something that can be seen as good or bad at a glance. But after thinking about it, I realized that a person's initial good impression can easily give the other person a great halo. This recognition from the heart makes girls not want to think too badly of the other person.
Through this topic, I also want to tell all girls, whether a man is in a serious relationship or just for fun, it is enough to look at it a little bit, it is very accurate: Whether he respects you enough.
Obviously, judging from the situation of this girl, the boys have no respect for her at all, because any boy, if he is a person with good character and morality, will never do anything when they meet for the first time. It seems to be a relatively frivolous thing.
Furthermore, when people face someone they really like, they will definitely be a little cautious, and they will pay more attention to the other person’s opinions and feelings. They will subconsciously restrain themselves and maintain a good sense of proportion, for fear that they are not doing well enough and will cause trouble. some negative effects.
Therefore, no matter from any aspect, this boy is definitely not a good match.
His behavior, to put it bluntly, is a kind of testing. He is testing the girl's bottom line. If the girl does not refuse, then she may be included in the ranks of short-term selection.
Any love needs time to settle, and it also takes certain stages to see clearly whether a person is good or bad.
If, two people are not yet in the ambiguous stage, or are in the ambiguous stage, and engage in intimate behaviors that can only be done when they are in love, then the relationship will never move forward.
To put it more seriously, as a girl, no matter whether you are serious at this time or what your mentality is, the first impression of you by a boy has been fixed, and it is basically difficult to change it later.
Speaking of this, I suddenly remembered a real example.
Previously, a girl came to chat with me and said that she didn’t know what kind of relationship she had with her boyfriend. I was very surprised at first: You said you were your boyfriend, why are you still not clear about your relationship? When
asked, it turned out that the two of them were confused. They met online at first. Later, after they met, they felt that they could chat. On the way to send her back that day, the boy held her hand. After refusing, their relationship became just like a couple.
Did you find anything wrong here? Yes, confess, the boy did not confess.
In fact, as a girl, she thought that since they held hands, they must be boyfriend and girlfriend, so she soon fell deeper and deeper into this relationship and fell in love with each other more and more. At the same time, the boy began to become careless and didn't care about her. Within a month or two, the boy could basically be said to be completely different.
Moreover, she is completely blank in the boy's circle of friends. The boy has never made her public or brought her to meet his friends. She must have made her own request. The boy's explanation is: No result I don’t want everyone to know about it now, let’s talk about it later.
Although she was angry at the time, she quickly forgave him.
Then the relationship between the two people went on and off and then reunited like this. Yes, in just two months, they had already separated and reunited many times. To be precise, she broke up unilaterally and then quietly reconciled.
Because she felt that the boy was perfunctory, she wanted to use the breakup to increase the boy's sense of crisis, but every time she told her about the breakup, she was the one who tortured her in the end - obviously, the boy would not care about her lack of contact. , or there is any panic in blocking or deleting, but she will always be entangled and panicked because of it.
In this process, her love also increased invisibly.
Then, one day, she suddenly asked the other party: What kind of relationship do we have? As a result, guess what, the boy did not answer directly, but directly threw the question back and asked her: What do you think?
In fact, everyone knows that answering a question is already an answer.
But she was still unwilling to give in, so she often broke down emotionally later on. It turned out that during this period of time when they were talking, her boyfriend didn't want to acknowledge her identity at all.
I told her at the time that the relationship between you didn't start well at the beginning. It started in an unclear way and often ended inexplicably. After all, the other party never made any promise to you in the first place, and you never said that you wanted to be together. Everything was just You volunteered, didn't you?
Really, if the other person's character is any worse, he may just use these words to make you speechless.
Therefore, as a girl, relationships should be developed step by step, and the sense of ritual should still be required. For example, things like confession, although it can be very simple, sometimes just one sentence, but this sentence is very important to the two of you. , is a kind of emphasis on identity, which will play a corresponding role in the heart. This is just like the beginning of a composition. We need to set a general tone for this article first, so that we have a framework for how to write next. Otherwise, the content may be unrealistic.
People who really like you and are willing to respect you will definitely have a sense of boundaries. On the contrary, those who have no sense of boundaries at the beginning mostly have this purpose: just want to enjoy the sweetness and beauty of this relationship, but do not want to take any responsibility.
If this is the case, you will have nothing to do when the other person stops trying to get you and leaves you.
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