Parents who have daughters always cannot help but discuss the issue of their daughters falling in love or even marrying in the future. Every time I see a girl suffering hardship because of "unkindness", I worry that my own girl will also be in trouble in the future.
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Someone here to help you clear the mines
Thinking that her daughter has reached adolescence, the old father at home is strictly guarding her every day. He is worried that she will get too close to someone of the opposite sex, and he has to warn her from time to time. These few words made my daughter resentful and felt that her father had entered " menopause ".
The night before yesterday, I couldn't help but discuss this matter with the father of the child. He said with some resentment: "I hope this day can come slower..."
However, although the father of the child is "sour" on the surface, he still seriously considers himself a man. From this perspective, I analyzed the minefield of girls’ mate selection.
Whether you are married or in love, run away quickly when you encounter the following two types of men -
Men with "borderline personality" must not
It is a type of personality disorder, which can also be referred to as (BPD). This type of people has Typical characteristics: Emotional instability, easily angered, reckless behavior that easily offends others.
Not only do they suffer themselves, but they often also easily hurt their partners when entering into intimate relationships.
Take an experience of a friend as an example (with my consent), and you can probably understand the pain of dating a partner with a "borderline personality":
The experience of a friend's relationship with his ex can be described as "shattering and tearful" "Ghosts and gods", below I will refer to this man as Mr. A.
A Jun’s family of origin is not perfect. His parents often quarrel every three days and a little every day. He is responsible for "carrying cannon fodder" in the middle and often has to bear the verbal pressure from both parents.
Mr. A, who grew up in this environment, has a twisted personality, is extremely insecure, and is often afraid of being abandoned by others. My friend was attracted by the "fragmentation" in him from the beginning. Motherhood overcame him, and he started his own nightmare career from then on.
In order to make Mr. A feel at ease, his friend took the initiative to cut off his social contacts, often stayed with his boyfriend, and constantly promised that he would not leave. When Mr. A was emotionally stable, the two of them lived like a wormhole.
But once he has doubts, he will yell and scold his friends, accuse her of many "unfounded" charges, and sometimes he will throw things at home and want to hit his friends.
But when his friend wants to break up, he will fall into the emotions of self-blame and regret. He will repeatedly promise that this will not happen in the future, but he will return to the original state next time.
jumps back and forth between "doubt - self-blame - seeking peace" every time, causing my friends to have an emotional breakdown. The first few times they got back together because they were soft-hearted, and then they broke up with each other because they couldn't bear it anymore. But in the process It didn't go well, and I almost got hurt.
My friend’s experience may have been experienced by some girls. I discussed with my friends the purpose of posting it, and I also hope that you can keep your eyes open and stay away from partners with this kind of "borderline personality".
- Such people often do not have clear self-understanding and are prone to low self-esteem and paranoia. They always try to control their partners in relationships and do not know how to love each other correctly.
- swings in an intimate relationship, switching between affection, alienation, and hatred. But when the other person wants to leave, they show reluctance, which consumes the other person's feelings.
Men who have low self-esteem, cowardice, and are too negative should not
There is a saying "When you start to pity men, your suffering begins..."
This sentence is actually not unreasonable. When facing a man who looks weak on the surface, Men, some little girls who are ignorant of the world always want to save him, thinking that they can achieve him.
As everyone knows, if the rescue is successful, it is a story, but if it fails, it is an accident. The former mostly happens in fairy tales, while the latter happens in reality.
We can understand the weakness of human nature and allow the existence of negative factors such as inferiority and cowardice in a person's character. However, if it is not dealt with properly, when a person's character background is filled with it, problems will often arise.
When interacting with such men, in order to save their own dignity and face, they often suppress the value of their partners, "You are nothing more than that, so you are with someone like me...".
If his partner is better than him, it will stimulate his sensitive and fragile heart, and then he will attack his partner more and more harshly. In the long run, you will be infected with his negative emotions and start to deny yourself.
Another point is that men with low self-esteem often lack responsibility and have no independent opinions in the family. When a girl encounters conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, her husband may not step in to help, and the quality of married life is difficult to guarantee.
Extended reading: How to prevent your daughter from becoming a "love brain"?
. Parents, set a good example
Your view of love has a profound and lasting impact on your children. If parents respect each other, support each other, and treat each other as independent individuals instead of "accessories".
Under the influence of their ears and eyes, children will have a rough idea of an ideal marriage. They will also refer to their parents' templates when choosing a partner, and the probability of developing a love brain will be smaller.
. Cultivate the independence of children's personality.
I don't know if you have noticed that many so-called "love brain" girls are not very independent in their basic personality. They are used to relying on others and lack their own opinions. So when you are controlled by others, you still feel like you have met true love.
The reason why she is like this is related to her parents’ education methods and acquired environment since childhood. If parents are often used to making decisions for their children, protect their children too well, or habitually suppress their children, these are not conducive to the sound development of a girl’s personality.
Therefore, parents still need to guide their children to become independent and help them find their ideals in life. When their personality is full, she will not think about using love to escape reality.
