I often hear other people’s mothers say: “I envy you how quiet you have such a quiet girl. Look at our boy again. It’s so naughty that he keeps arguing and jumping every day. "
Some parents, if her children are naughty and active, then she will envy those parents who have a quiet and not naughty child, and think that quiet children are more obedient and better.
But in fact, if the family really raises a child who looks relatively quiet, he will not be happy for the child to be quiet, well-behaved, and obedient. Instead, there will be all kinds of worries, because the child is not only quiet, but also not Like to take the initiative to talk to children.
A child who is quiet and not naughty is not necessarily a good thing.
Many people know that being lively and active is the child’s nature, but some children have found her far away since they were 3 years old. Not as sunny as when he was 1 year old.
My sister told me not long ago that since her child was 3 years old, she found that her child became less and less talkative. Until she was 5 years old this year, she was far from running and jumping like other kids.
Even if they are downstairs in the community, children rarely interact actively when they play together in groups.
Not only that, every time I met an acquaintance on the road and asked the child to call "Auntie", the child was stubborn, bowing his head and using his feet to play with the stones on the ground and refused to speak.
Seeing other people’s children are lively and cheerful, my sister is very anxious, really afraid that the child’s introverted personality will gradually develop into inferiority complex and timid.
Children who are quiet and not talkative have two disadvantages
1. Quiet children are introverted
Quiet children are mostly introverted children, no Will be flexible in thinking like a lively child and like to express himself.
Even when making friends, introverted children are not too active. Now there is a noun called "慢热型" , which means that you will not take the initiative to make friends. Even if others take the initiative to show your favor, the child of the slow hot type is only "冷responsive" at first. .
Until the contact time is long, the slow-heat type children will slowly accept the children who take the initiative to show him good.
But this kind of character of the child is not good at expressing himself in the school career. Most of the children will hide behind, watch quietly, and do not participate in the performances, selection of class cadres and other activities.
2. Quiet children are not very confident
American child education experts have shown through research:
Those who are lively, naughty and social children, They tend to be particularly confident when doing things. However, children who are introverted, quiet, and do not like to talk tend to be timid when doing things.
It is not difficult to find in real life that those children who are outgoing and lively, whether they are asked to sing on stage or read texts on stage, what they show is so "casual" and not stage fright. .
However, looking at the introverted children, they don't have so much self-confidence. They have a lot of worries before doing things, and even dare not do it. For example, take the initiative to strike up a conversation with other children.
Children are not born with introverts
Professor Li Meijin once said:
The personality is not innate. , Are all affected by the acquired environment, so there is no inherent personality defect.
In other words, the development of a child's character is closely related to the environment in which he grew up. For example, is the relationship between the parents harmonious, whether they are often bullied in the kindergarten, and the parent’s education method, orAffected by the personality of the parents.
Let’s say that when a child does something wrong, the parents don’t give the child an opportunity to explain it. They just hit and scold them when they come up. If they are better, they criticize the child.
Therefore, as time goes on, the child's dependence on his parents gradually fades. At the same time, he does not like to communicate with his parents at home, so he becomes taciturn and even timid. These are all signs of introversion.
Introverted children also have their advantages
1. Introverted children are more cautious
Introverted children, although they will not act like lively children. , But they are more cautious and careful than them.
Introverted children have been careful children since they were young. For example, they are better at observing the faces of their parents and rarely provoke their mothers when they are upset.
At the same time, if you leave them with housework, they will do better because of their care.
American child psychology researchers have done an experiment:
In the experiment, the researchers found two children with different personalities, one lively and active, with a smile on his face, the other quiet and introverted. Always look down at your toes.
The researcher asked the two children to fold a pile of clothes in different rooms. When they looked at the results of their labor ten minutes later, the researchers found that the introverted child folded the clothes neatly.
On the other hand, children with lively characters have wrinkled clothes that are very untidy, and even many pieces of clothes are "impatiently" thrown aside.
It can be seen that children with introverts are not only cautious, but also careful, and more patient at the same time. At the same time, even if they grow up, there is no need to worry about the time they spend without thinking.
Every time they say a word, they will calculate it in their hearts, so they also have their advantages in communication.
2. Introverted children are better at thinking
Although children are introverted, reticent, and not less sociable, children in this category are better at thinking, such as mothers with children When shopping and seeing a friend, let the child call "auntie".
An extroverted child will call out an aunt without thinking and cheerfully. However, when an introverted child was asked by his mother to call an aunt to a stranger, he was thinking:
Do I know this aunt? Is this auntie a good person? I'm not familiar with her, can I call her "auntie"? and many more.
Such children’s brain circuits are generally longer than those of extroverted children, and at the same time they like to firm up their inner thoughts more, and it is not easy to become a child of "请好型"
Such children, long Queens must have a calm and calm personality.
3. Children don’t like to talk, but their inner affairs are rich
On the surface, children are usually quiet but their inner world is very rich. They are more willing to think and imagine, and they are better at observing things in the world.
Sometimes they will be immersed in a book, immersed in painting, immersed in the things they like, and have their own understanding of things.
At the same time, I have a lot of inner thoughts, not as careless as an extroverted child. Although I say few words, there are many things in my mind.
Parents use these methods to change their children's introversion
Although introverted children also have many advantages, parents cannot let their children go introverted. The personality traits directly connected to the introvert are low self-esteem, timidity, etc.
Therefore, when facing introverted children, parents should still adopt a positive education method to make the children cheerful.
1. Aiming at the child’s tendency to have low self-esteem
Introverted children, due to factors such as inactive personality, few friends, many internal worries, etc., are easy to develop low self-esteem during the growth process Character.
▲Therefore, mothers can start with small things and develop their children's self-confidence bit by bit. For example, the mother can teach the child some simple housework, such as cleaning the table, folding clothes, folding the quilt, etc., and require the child to do it.
When the child is done with these housework, the mother promptly encourages the child and praises her for doing well. Faced with the praise of the mother and the results of their own labor, the child has a sense of victory and self-confidence.
Because of self-confidence, it itself is accumulated by small successes time and time again.
▲In addition, mothers can enroll children in an art class according to their children’s interests. Whether it is learning dancing or learning musical instruments, it will help cultivate children’s Self-confidence.
2. Provide more opportunities for children to socialize
When taking your children out on weekends, you may wish to exercise your children to buy things. Communication starts with shopping, while the mother is standing by quietly Watching.
If children dare not talk to strangers, start exercising on the phone first, give them more opportunities to answer the phone, and increase the opportunities for children to communicate with strangers on the phone.
Secondly, there are guests at home, and parents encourage their children to come forward to receive them, and exercise their ability to communicate face-to-face with strangers.
Finally, take your children to participate in sports, art and other activities, so that children have the opportunity to contact more friends, and in the process, the children will gradually learn to cooperate with their friends.
3. Provide a warm environment for children to grow up
Of course, you want your children to be cheerful, and parents play a very important role in this. Big. According to statistics, in families where parents are always quarreling and emotionally discordant, the vast majority of children are withdrawn, timid, and inferior.
Therefore, while changing the children, parents may wish to change themselves, less quarreling between husband and wife, and create a warm and harmonious growth environment for children.
Parents take their children out to play outdoors on weekends, so that the children can feel the love from the two parents, and the children can feel the warmth of playing together as a family.
Child introversion is like a double-edged sword. It has both advantages and disadvantages. However, as parents, you should also take correct educational measures and actively encourage children to take the initiative to make friends.
At the same time, adopt positive education methods to prevent children from becoming inferior, cowardly, withdrawn and other negative personalities.
