It was just a few days after the third year of high school started in 2010. The head teacher called me out of the classroom and walked into an office in the teacher's office building. I was surprised to find that my father was already there. At this time, I already understood that the head teacher had made up his mind to solve the problem of my unwillingness to study because I had been obsessed with reading for a long time. When my father learned about my situation at school, he took off his shoes and hit me, but I was still stubborn and refused to admit my mistake, so he left tears of sadness. Seeing that I was willing to give up, the teacher advised me to go home and rest for a while on the grounds of having psychological problems and ask a consultant for consultation. My father was also disappointed with me and took me home.
After returning home, I felt extremely painful inside, and my father and mother were also disappointed. I didn’t know what to do. I held the book all day and said some nonsense. My father thought there were really any psychological problems. I knew that the so-called psychological problems in their consciousness should be the same as mental problems. I took me to consult with a psychologist, and I went there, but this sense of shame increased my inner resentment. After returning from psychological counseling, my heart became even more painful. Later, I heard from my mother that one of my cousins was the same as me back then. Because I liked reading books in high school, I almost didn’t go to school at all. Now I am a reporter in Zhengzhou.
I felt like I had a life-saving straw, so I quickly called my cousin. At that time, I was already a little confused and nonsense. My father first explained the situation to my cousin, and then I told him my thoughts, "I like literature, but my family is too backward, and they don't understand me. The teacher also said that I have a 'brain problem'." My cousin said, "Actually, there are many literary lovers in our county." "But I can't feel it." Then he asked me, "Do you have articles? Can I publish them for you?" At that time, I just wrote a little poem and felt casually, and I couldn't say a decent article. In addition, I was always occupied by resentment, so I couldn't write anything decent.
"You are like Sun Wukong being covered with a tight-knit curse."
"I'm going to Zhengzhou to become a disciple."
After a while, I decided to go to Zhengzhou to become a disciple, and told my cousin the idea, "What are you taking?"
"Something I wrote."
"Okay, it's also an experience for you."
So I had the experience of my trip to Zhengzhou in 2010 and the process of transferring to liberal arts.
This is a good experience, but this experience did not become the driving force that motivated me to grow at that time, but instead became a painful memory that sealed my heart. Using the principles of metacognitive intervention technology, because I did things driven by negative emotions at that time, I did not take into account the positive side of these things, but instead fell into negative cognition. So not only did all this not eliminated, but it increased my resentment towards the school and the teachers.
After I arrived in college, my resentment had not been eliminated, so it was moved and expanded to people and things around me. Even my love for literature was filled with a sense of guilt. I was reluctant to mention or even remembered the experience in high school, so I chose to forget it in my heart.
Just like that, I was sealed by negative emotions and cognition at the "under the Five Elements Mountain". Especially during the internship from college to before graduation, it was the "darkest moment" in my life.
This situation continued until the eve of graduating from college in 2014. If it weren't for Mr. Yu Guangzhong and Mr. who came to Henan, if I hadn't seen Mr. Yu Guangzhong, my passion and yearning for literature that was sealed in my heart might not have been stimulated again, and I might have really fallen into a state of doom. Thinking about it, I still feel scared now.
Seeing Mr. Yu Guangzhong relaxed my sealed heart, so I remembered the experience of being persuaded to drop out of school and psychological counseling because of my love for literature in high school. Later, I went to Zhengzhou to visit a teacher. So I found some of the energy I had from back then and continued my literary love.
However, this time the seal was not completely lifted, because my inner thoughts and emotions did not change fundamentally. The most typical example is that I still blame all the problems on the school and teachers, and even the people and things around me. In other words, I did not recognize my own problems, so my resentment and negative emotional perception of the past have not changed. This led to the fact that although I was exposed to the excellent psychological technology of metacognitive intervention technology in 2015, I lost the opportunity to get out of my psychological dilemma because I was not awakened.
By the time I realized my inner problems, it was two years later in 2017. At that time, I had been the editor of "Breaking the Cocoon into a Butterfly" in " Zhesi " magazine for more than a year. Logically speaking, from the end of 2015 to the beginning of 2017, it should be said that it was the happiest and most satisfying period in my heart. I worked in the literature and editorial work I dreamed of and loved, so I should be very happy and happy with Gao Xing. However, I was not happy in my heart because literature and past pain are also connected, and I was addicted to the painful memory and feelings of the past, like a Xianglin Sao, who would tell people painfully when he had the opportunity. As a result, in a year in the magazine, I didn’t write a decent article.
After I came out of the magazine, I finally began to reflect - do I have to blame others for this failure? I finally began to realize that there are problems in my heart. If I don’t solve my own problems, nothing outside will change. So I officially started my own path to psychological healing.
Since the first psychological counseling in high school was a failure, the emotions and memories left behind were also negative and painful, I have been resentful about psychological counseling later. However, because I have a good first impression of metacognitive intervention technology, although I am still a little repulsive, I can accept it. So I began to turn my attention to metacognitive intervention technology again. At the end of 2017, I learned about the news that Professor Jin Hongyuan came to Zhengzhou to start a class. I first listened, then read the metacognitive intervention technology book and listened to the audio. After gradually understanding the principles of "conditional emotional reactions" and "emotional unrequited thinking", I finally realized, Oh, it turns out that the reason why I fell into a negative life state is because I was driven by some negative emotions and cognition behind it... So that's it! I officially participated in the training class immediately. With the deeper learning and understanding of technology, my thinking and understanding of the past finally changed.
After continuous study in 2019, I no longer feel resentful to the school and teachers, no longer blame all the problems for external people and things, but instead look for problems by myself. By 2020, it was really good that high school happened ten years ago. At this time, I was able to fully accept the things that happened back then, so I began to write about my experience and psychological transformation process, which is the article "Written in the Ten Years of "High School Incidents", as I wrote in my inscription: "Everything you want to escape will always bind you." This article represents that I am no longer escaping the past, but complete acceptance. Then I also wrote "My Metacognitive Intervention Technology Road", which tells my process and gains in learning metacognitive intervention technology. In addition, I wrote healing and recalled texts such as "Ten Years of Transformation", "Beyond the Psychology", "About High School Memories", "Return to Student Times", and "Mr. Yu Guangzhong I See", and sorted out, investigated and transformed all the problems in my heart in this process, and at the same time learned some knowledge content in traditional culture. Until these two days I wrote "The Darkest Day in Life" and realized that "all the problems in my heart are caused by myself, and everything outside is innocent", I finally lifted all the seal in my heart, my heart was completely liberated, and I returned to the old, original, and original me before high school...
This is the whole process of my psychological healing.Don’t just look at the time point, think that I have only completely emerged from my psychological difficulties since 2010 and now, and it took me more than ten years to do so. In fact, time is just an external manifestation. On the one hand, it is because I am exploring myself, so I have taken a detour for a while. The most important thing is that I have figured out a path to get out of psychological dilemma in this process. I summarize it into the following points:
First: Recognize the problem. That is, you can perceive and clearly admit that you have poor mental state. For me, it was not until after 2020 that I really began to realize my inner problems, which was a full 7-year delay.
Second: Find good technology. For me, although I first came into contact with metacognitive intervention technology in 2015, I was not aware of it at the time, so I missed an opportunity for a change. It was not until 2018 that I truly recognized and learned technology, which delayed my healing journey by three years.
Third: Half rely on learning. Just like the two-level intervention of metacognitive intervention: first, it refers to the metacognitive intervention of professional and technical personnel of clinical psychological intervention to the client; second, it refers to the metacognitive intervention of the client in his or her psychological disorder process, excellent personality and behavior after mastering the technology and its principles. Therefore, healing is half based on learning or help from others, and the other half depends on yourself.
Fourth: Half rely on writing. For myself, writing is the most effective way to help me heal. So I personally think healing writing should be added to the psychological healing lessons.
Here, it is also important to make clear that it does not mean that the psychological healing process takes more than ten years, but because I have experienced these four psychological healing steps in these ten years of practice, I have come out of the psychological dilemma. In other words, it does not mean how long it takes to heal your psychology, but it depends on how long it takes to complete the above psychological healing steps. For me, I have experienced many years of lack of guidance and self-exploration, but for others, under the guidance of professional and technical personnel of metacognitive clinical psychological intervention and their own efforts, it is not difficult to solve the problem in a few months, weeks, or even days.
Finally, I wish all friends who are also disturbed by psychological difficulties to meet their metacognition as soon as possible and meet their truest and most beautiful selves.
(Author: Ren Peng, a practitioner of Henan Yuancognitive psychological intervention technology, has been deeply engaged in the field of educational psychology for many years, solves students' learning disabilities, and is good at writing psychological healing.)
