▲ Xu Yan, professor and doctoral supervisor of the Department of Psychology, Beijing Normal University
In life, we have to go through different stages of life development, and each stage has to face a life task and solve some life problems. People have many descriptions of middle age, such as "there are old and the lower ones", "the greasy middle-aged man", etc.
On the one hand, middle-aged people are burdened with the heavy pressure of life, and on the other hand, middle-aged people have also achieved career achievements through struggle. After struggle and success, middle-aged people experience a deep sense of crisis: Why do people live for?
What is the midlife crisis?
The midlife crisis was originally proposed by Jung . He found that in his clinic, some middle-aged people with fame and achievements often come in and out of middle-aged people who come to his clinic often ask questions about thinking about life. Jung began to think: Why did these people who have achieved fame and fortune suddenly have a sense of psychological crisis in middle age? Where is the focus of these sense of crisis? In the narratives of these successful people, we can see that in the early stages of their careers, they fought more for survival, that is, they were busy making money and supporting their families, and at this time they rarely considered life issues.
When they reach a certain stage of struggle and have a certain amount of wealth accumulation, they enter a state of economic worry-free life. At this time, they start to think about spiritual issues, hoping to discuss some life issues: Why am I fighting like this? What should my life be like?
At this time of life, they are often confused about how to find the answer to life. They are eager to think about their lives from a philosophical level, sort out the past of their lives, and thus provide further directional adjustments for their future life.
How did Jung adjust these midlife crises when facing these people? He used this method: He asked these middle-aged people to think about what some of their personal interests they had been very interested in in their early years and in childhood, but had given up because of their busy life.
For example, some people like painting, some people like singing, and some people like sports. These are all hobbies they showed in their childhood. Jung asked them to restore this childhood hobby again.
Why did Jung use this childhood hobby to restore their minds? Because a person is interested in is also where his psychological energy gathers, and where a person's vitality can bloom, and it is an area where he can best show the value of life. Therefore, Jung activated the most shining interest point in a person, and then let them slowly adjust their life rhythm through this interest point, and slowly adjust from the original running life state to the slow-paced state where they can appreciate life.
How to face the midlife crisis?
When a person can appreciate life and appreciate his own life journey, he actually reaches another state of life or personality development. Jung once again brought these people who achieved fame and strength back to their early points of interest in life, restored their original power of life, and then made them more glorious in their future lives, have an attitude of appreciation for life, and face their own life with greater strength.
Therefore, when facing the midlife crisis, many middle-aged people have experienced a turning point in their lives, transforming from the pursuit of pure socio-economic status to the pursuit of the realm of life. This is also when personality can exert its power in the second half of life. The midlife crisis is a crisis that everyone may experience, but it has a clearer guiding significance for our future life, and will tell people how to live and how to appreciate a beautiful life.
In fact, we will encounter various problems at every stage of life. The midlife crisis is only encountered at the middle age.At all ages in life, we will encounter some challenges or conflicts, and obstacles to life development often cause people's anxiety.
How can I relieve anxiety?
Anxiety is divided into two types: one is Stateful anxiety , and the other is traitive anxiety .
State anxiety is an anxiety caused by a certain situation or a specific thing. For example, some people feel anxious every time they take the exam. This is state. It is a variable and short-term anxiety. Once the situation of this exam passes, the anxiety will disappear, which is a short-term psychological reaction.
Stateful anxiety does not belong to personality traits, but anxiety that belongs to stable personality traits is called traitual anxiety.
People with trait anxiety show anxiety in different situations. For example, a person will be anxious during exams, anxious during public speeches, anxious when facing a crowded elevator, and anxious when facing an empty high ground. The situation of starting anxiety will be more extensive, and people will show an anxiety response across time and space, with stable characteristics.
Changes in trait anxiety will be more difficult, which means it will take longer or more effective methods to relieve it. There are many ways to change trait anxiety, such as relaxation, desensitization, exercise, cognitive therapy, etc.
If you find that you have trait anxiety, you can find a professional institution nearby for psychological help. Psychological counselors will provide some targeted and effective methods based on your characteristics.
In addition, if you have anxiety in yourself, you don’t need to panic, because in the process of rapid changes in modern society, many people will experience a general social anxiety. In many cases, this is not a pathological reaction, but a psychological state that arises under the influence of the environment. When encountering this situation, we must learn more about how to deal with stress and learn stress management, which will reduce the occurrence of anxiety and reduce the intensity of anxiety reactions.
Anxiety is not scary. In many cases, we should learn to accept anxiety and learn to dance with anxiety. When your attitude towards anxiety becomes calmer, you will not be entangled by the concept of anxiety all day long. You will slowly learn to forget, and anxiety will gradually fade away from you.
This article is excerpted from Professor Xu Yan's new book "Becoming a Better Self"
